“Destination Dilemma: When Travel Costs Dampen Wedding Gift Expectations”

A guest at a wedding is questioning whether it might be “impolite” to not present the bride and groom with a gift since they are already incurring substantial expenses to attend the couple’s “expensive” destination wedding.

In a discussion on Reddit‘s “Wedding” subreddit, the attendee detailed that their female friend, 28, is set to marry overseas next year, in a place that is five hours away by air. The bride is also organizing a three-day bachelorette retreat abroad that will necessitate flight travel as well.

Additionally, the attendee indicated, the bride has requested her bridesmaids to cover their own costs for dresses, hairstyling, and makeup. With all the travel and wedding-related expenditures, the attendee is feeling financially strained.

“I’m already anxious about the total cost,” they wrote, stating, “And to complicate matters, cash gifts are customary at weddings in her culture. I fear she may anticipate one, but after all these expenses, I’m unsure I can handle it.”

The attendee wrapped up the post by inquiring from the Reddit community if it would constitute a social blunder if they decided to “forego” the wedding gift while contemplating the option of budgeting for “a small token” for the couple.

“Has anyone else encountered a similar scenario?” they questioned.

In the comments section, one individual proposed an alternative solution, with several others agreeing with the suggestion. “If I were attending this wedding I would certainly opt out of the bachelorette party,” they counseled. “You don’t require the expense of two trips abroad for one person’s occasions. By doing so, you can afford to offer a gift if you choose, with the funds you saved by skipping one of the trips.”

Another commenter noted: “I concur. I actually believe it appears tacky and inconsiderate of the bride to expect her wedding party to fund and take time off for two excursions. If it’s a destination wedding, there’s no need for a destination bachelorette party as well.”

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Yet another individual advised the guest to simply provide a card with “a sincere message and consider it complete.”

Others reassured the attendee that it wouldn’t be impolite to withhold a gift from the newlyweds.

“We’re not all wealthy,” one commenter expressed, recounting a similar personal experience. “I had to fly to my closest friend’s wedding while I was in graduate school and I hosted a celebratory shower for her just two days prior since no one else stepped up. All this aside, between the flight, food for the shower, bridesmaid dress, etc., I was FLAT BROKE. Her wedding present was my presence.”

Another individual pointed out that the bride is “demanding a lot” from her friends and encouraged the attendee to engage in an open discussion with her regarding their worries about the overall expenses. “If the bride doesn’t comprehend,” the commenter remarked, “you might also graciously withdraw [as bridesmaid].”