Sip and Savor: Discovering the Best Nonalcoholic Delights This Dry-ish January

The instant Jeremy Radio slid the nonalcoholic variant of the Astro Zombie (just $10 with the alcohol) across the counter in a delightfully themed enamel shark-head mug, I realized Uncle Jerry’s Tiki Sundays at Tommy’s Pub was the perfect launchpad for our somewhat dry Sunday Funday. The initial sip only solidified that fate.

The invigorating essence of grapefruit and lime grazed my lips initially, but it was the effervescent mix of cinnamon syrup and seltzer bubbles that delivered a cozy, fuzzy mouth sensation, making me believe Uncle J must’ve overlooked omitting the dark rum and pernod. It was the first occasion I could envision daytime drinking without actually partaking.

“I think I actually favor yours,” Boo confessed, taking a second sip of his classic Dark and Stormy ($8). At first, I was skeptical, yet before long, he was lunging for another sip of Baby Shark. Hmmm, perhaps we are indeed capable of a somewhat dry January after all.

Each December, I entertain the notion of hopping on the Dry January train. But just as the metaphorical resolution pen is about to mark mental paper — or dares to slip from my lips for anyone to hold me accountable — New Year’s Eve arrives.

The prospect of confronting Charlotte’s nightlife — or any social gathering, for that matter — sober, while still reeling from New Year’s Day’s unwise choices, persuades me I’m psychologically unprepared to follow Gen Z down the mindful-drinking route.

Exactly, millennials: Enduring Y2K, two economic downturns, and drowning our unresolved childhood trauma has paved the way for Gen Z to establish healthier boundaries with alcohol.

However, seriously, studies have indicated that, for reasons that are hard to identify, Gen Z appears less interested in adhering to J-Kwon’s original mantra: “Everyone in the club gettin’ tipsy.”

And that simple initial sip at Tommy’s ignited my sober interest one week into the new year while the warmth of the tiki mocktail lingered in my mouth as we ventured over to NoDa in search of nonalcoholic choices that could keep the festivities alive.

You might recognize Haberdish for their fried chicken, yet it was their surprisingly delightful punch bowls that made a lasting impact on my previously unsophisticated palate, back in 2016 when I was still infatuated with vodka Red Bulls.

Thus, it only made sense to stop in and sample their spirit-free and legally “green” cocktails (because who claims you can’t be “high” on life and still remain somewhat sober?).

Snoop Nogg ($15) featuring the hemp-infused NA spirit Calmezzi was sold out, so I selected the New Best Friend ($14) which comprised of Calmezzi original, amethyst lemon serrano NA spirit, lime simple syrup, and soda. Boo chose the CBD-infused California Sober ($11).

Although I’m typically not one to crave a spritzer, my New Best Friend was bubbly, light, and exhibited just the right amount of balanced flavor to elevate her above her Aperol spritz, White Claw, or seltzer water counterparts in my lineup.

Yet don’t let her free-spirited, untroubled disposition deceive you; her Calmezzi charm is potent.

“Do you sense anything?” Boo inquired as I realized the day had transitioned to night and I was merely a third of the way through my cocktail. I chuckled with quiet assurance, recognizing I was experiencing no more than a placebo buzz while simultaneously searching “nonalcoholic mocktail recipes, booze-free activities, bottle shops near me with NA spirits, and what happened to Charlotte’s Counterculture Club?”

Then, out of the blue, I felt hungry.

“I don’t believe so, but should we settle up and head over to Copperhead to place a to-go order and a nightcap?”

“…or Zämbies,” Boo suggested.

“Or what if we visit Copperhead, place a to-go order, enjoy a beer while we engage in Simpson’s bowling, then place a pick-up order at Zämbies for late-night?” I suggested, grinning widely with raised brows.

When he smiled without an immediate rejection, I sensed that Haberdish had succeeded in sending us home in good spirits without the buzz and our sole regret was that we had overlooked stocking up on Pepto.

A couple of blocks nearer to Uptown, directly across from the Heist Brewery corner, Copperhead Social Club awaited us to warm up one last time before heading home.

Amidst what was meant to be a brief catch-up with a girlfriend, quietly relishing her Best Day Brewing Kölsch-style nonalcoholic beer, I realized my New Best Friend was enchanting her way into my mind like a playful sprite.

Before I recognized it, I was doing the one thing I detest seeing others do: overstaying my welcome. My time-turner on somewhat dry Sunday Funday was depleting, and I required two Copperhead burgers and one order of Copperhead-style fries to-go stat … the pizza would need to wait.