Asking Eric: Young love begins to fade as actuality of boyfriend’s life-style selections turns into clear

Dear Eric: I’ve been in a relationship with my associate for many of my 20s, and whereas I nonetheless love him, I discover myself questioning if I’m nonetheless interested in him.

In the previous few years, he has considerably stopped caring for himself. As a really lively and wholesome particular person (I run marathons, bike, elevate weights often, et cetera), I discover it arduous to retain that attraction when he doesn’t train, eats very poorly, consumes lots of of grams of sugar a day and total leads a really sedentary life-style.

With these issues, and our bodies altering from younger 20s to 30s, bodily he has change into a unique particular person but additionally our connection in life-style is lacking in that method as properly.

Am I egocentric for this? I wish to discover my associate engaging however when he’s consuming fries and fried rooster after I come again in from a 10-mile run, I’m wondering if this can ever change.

– Stuck Girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend: The ways in which we spend our time are reflections of what we worth. This is especially true of intimate relationships. Sometimes {couples} will marvel why they’ve drifted far aside after which notice they by no means really spend any time collectively. They nonetheless love one another however love additionally takes exercise.

Removing judgment out of your boyfriend’s actions and from yours, it’s clear that there are lacking factors of connection for the 2 of you. That lack of connection could also be making the bodily attraction and differing meals habits loom so giant.

As you observe, individuals will change, their our bodies will change, their existence will change. Good communication retains these modifications in context. In your quest to find out when you’re nonetheless interested in your boyfriend, focus much less on the “no’s” and ask your self if there are any “yeses.”

What do you discuss? What do you love to do collectively? What excites you about him? His lack of enthusiasm for operating, a factor you care about, could make it seem to be he doesn’t have any passions of his personal. Is that really true?

The bodily is necessary, however the bodily is ever-changing and all the time linked to the psychological and the emotional. You could have outgrown one another, or you could must reintroduce yourselves to one another. It’s price discovering out.

Send inquiries to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and join his weekly e-newsletter at rericthomas.com.