Dear Abby: Associate’s unhealthy life-style wants an adjustment

DEAR ABBY: We have been taking part in playing cards at my home on a Friday night time. On the way in which to creating some extent, I discussed in passing my standing as “the man of the house.” My visiting sister-in-law interrupted and knowledgeable me that it’s 2025 and I could NOT be a “man of the house.” I informed her I most actually AM the person of my home, simply as my spouse is the lady of the home, and she or he (my SIL) was out of line making an attempt to dictate what I could and should not name myself underneath my very own roof. She then excused her hateful remark by passing it off as a “joke,” which was completely unacceptable.

An enormous row ensued, and anti-male hate speech spewed from my SIL’s mouth. She spent the subsequent eight minutes telling me what an terrible individual I’m and made clear that as a result of she has achieved favors for my spouse and me, it justifies her use of sexist hate speech. I informed her to depart, which she did the next morning, lamely excusing her conduct by saying “she meant no malice.” What does Dear Abby consider this mess? — MAN OF THE HOUSE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MAN: It seems your sister-in-law touched a nerve when she made that remark, and also you overreacted. What I consider this mess is that you just each owe one another an apology, and if alcohol performed ANY half in what occurred, you must each abstain whereas taking part in playing cards sooner or later.

DEAR ABBY: I’m in a long-term relationship with an unimaginable man I’ll name “Jerry.” We each have grown kids, his dad and mom and household are wonderful, and all of us get alongside splendidly.

Jerry works exhausting as a well being care skilled. I work as effectively, however he helps us financially, for which I’m grateful. He has an autoimmune dysfunction and, sadly, different well being points as a result of, over the many years, he didn’t handle himself. I make wholesome meals, stroll no less than 10 miles per week and take a look at very exhausting to not spend an excessive amount of time on the couch.

My downside is: I’m in my mid-50s, energetic and residing with somebody who’s my exact opposite in that method. I am going out alone and with my household and mates to stay lively, however I would like Jerry to get off the sofa and do issues aside from exit for meals. I’ve gently spoken about this with him many instances. Should I simply hold the established order? I like him and want to hold this relationship going. — HELPLESS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR HELPLESS: I counsel a two-pronged strategy. The first prong could be to search out out what Jerry’s physician has to say about his sedentary life-style, so maybe one other medical skilled can assist you impress Jerry to develop into extra lively. The second prong could be to verify some strolling is concerned both earlier than or after the 2 of you exit for a meal. It might take some technique in your half, however it might be price a strive.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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