DEAR ABBY: I’m in a long-term relationship with an unimaginable man I’ll name ‘Jerry.“ We each have grown youngsters, his dad and mom and household are superb, and all of us get alongside splendidly.
Jerry works onerous as a health-care skilled. I work as effectively, however he helps us financially, for which I’m grateful. He has an autoimmune dysfunction and, sadly, different well being points as a result of, over the many years, he didn’t care for himself. I make wholesome meals, stroll not less than 10 miles every week and take a look at very onerous to not spend an excessive amount of time on the couch.
My downside is: I’m in my mid-50s, energetic and residing with somebody who’s my exact opposite in that approach. I am going out alone and with my household and associates to stay lively, however I would like Jerry to get off the sofa and do issues aside from exit for meals. I’ve gently spoken about this with him many instances. Should I simply preserve the established order? I like him and want to preserve this relationship going. – Helpless in New Hampshire
DEAR HELPLESS: I recommend a two-pronged method. The first prong could be to search out out what Jerry’s physician has to say about his sedentary way of life, so maybe one other medical skilled will help you impress Jerry to turn into extra lively. The second prong could be to verify some strolling is concerned both earlier than or after the 2 of you exit for a meal. It might take some technique in your half, however it might be value a attempt.
DEAR ABBY: We had been enjoying playing cards at my home on a Friday evening. On the best way to creating a degree, I discussed in passing my standing as “the man of the house.” My visiting sister-in-law interrupted and knowledgeable me that it’s 2025 and I might not be a “man of the house.” I advised her I most actually am the person of my home, simply as my spouse is the girl of the home, and he or she (my SIL) was out of line making an attempt to dictate what I could and should not name myself beneath my very own roof. She then excused her hateful remark by passing it off as a “joke,” which was completely unacceptable.
An enormous row ensued, and anti-male hate speech spewed from my SIL’s mouth. She spent the subsequent eight minutes telling me what an terrible particular person I’m and made clear that as a result of she has executed favors for my spouse and me, it justifies her use of sexist hate speech. I advised her to go away, which she did the subsequent morning, lamely excusing her habits by saying “she meant no malice.” What does Dear Abby consider this mess? – Man of the House in Michigan
DEAR MAN: It seems your sister-in-law touched a nerve when she made that remark, and also you overreacted. What I consider this mess is that you simply each owe one another an apology, and if alcohol performed any half in what occurred, it’s best to each abstain whereas enjoying playing cards sooner or later.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.