All Consuming | Kate Reid

AUSTRALIAN STORY PRESENTER LEIGH SALES: Kate Reid has all the time been a perfectionist, and that fuelled her massive break into the male-dominated world of Formula One. But her obsessive nature additionally led her down a really harmful path. This is the story of how Kate Reid pulled herself again from the brink and, within the course of, mastered, of all issues, the croissant.

(Kate Reid in automobile)

We’re heading in the direction of Parliament House. So, I’m going to be a Knight of the Order of the Agricultural Medal of France. Wild. 

KATE REID: I’ve by no means had a interval in my life the place I have not had one thing to obsess over.

Kate: I’m going to be an engineer, a physician and a knight by the tip of as we speak. 

KATE REID: It’s like to ensure that me to be impressed to get away from bed within the morning, I would like one thing to latch all of my concentrate on

PAT NOURSE, FOOD WRITER: Kate Reid’s story is the dream story. From F1 to pastry. It’s radical.

This is individuals who excel in patisserie. This is folks with aerospace experience. This is Kate Reid.

French Ambassador: You didn’t simply replicate the croissant, you redefined the croissant.

PAT NOURSE, FOOD WRITER: The croissant was invented in Vienna, celebrated in France. But it may be truthful to say that it was perfected in Melbourne by Kate Reid.

And so that is the very best achievement for a non-French folks to redefine the croissant and being higher than some French 

Kate: Did everybody hear that!

KATE REID: One of the best issues for me is the necessity to have management.

Ambassador (pins medal on Kate) Chevalier dans l’Ordre nationwide du Merit agricole.

KATE REID: There are many examples in my lifetime of me reaching for issues wholesome or unhealthy to achieve a side of management. [02:12:15: And I think that’ll probably be my entire life’s biggest challenge.

Title: All Consuming

KATE REID: With baking and croissants in particular, it really does require that obsessive, precise technical mindset to create the best one you possibly can over and over and over.

(Kate in commercial kitchen making croissants)

Kate: So, for me, every single croissant represents an opportunity to be better than the last one. To roll it more perfectly. More symmetrically.

CAM REID, BROTHER: Kate has a level of intensity that is quite unique.

(Kate in commercial kitchen making croissants) 

Kate: The goal for me is, could I egg wash this one more perfectly than I egg wash the last one.

KATE REID: I have tendencies of obsessive compulsive. I am absolutely a perfectionist. It’s probably my greatest flaw, but I try to treat it as a bit of a superpower.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: That’s an awfully hard thing to put on yourself. That everything has to be perfect. It’s not always perfect.It was a battle for Kate. I believe we’re lucky she’s still here.

KATE REID: Baking to me is more than just bringing ingredients together to create something for us to eat. Baking for me is a science. It’s a way to nourish people. And it healed me.

Kate (looking at croissants in the oven): They look good 

BOB REID, FATHER: I think Kate’s obsessional traits track back to her asthma and the need to fight for air.

KATE REID: When I was growing up, very early on in life, I think 18 months old, I was diagnosed with chronic asthma.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: We had 13 admissions where she was kept, kept in the hospital. it was a stressful time for both Bob and I.

BOB REID, FATHER: I was sort of seen as the night carer, if you like, and I guess that would have established a bond that maybe otherwise wouldn’t have been there.

KATE REID: The only way that I could be pulled out of an attack would be Mum and Dad looking after me. I think it instilled in me early on a sense of probably not being good enough. And I think it forced me to try and prove myself and be worthy in other ways.

BOB REID, FATHER: All through Kate’s growing up years, if she got onto something, it often became an obsession.

Kate: Well Dad’s been obsessed with cars my whole life. So, I’ve always been around automotive and racing. 

BOB REID, FATHER: Kate was influenced greatly by my love of motorsport, my love of cars, and the fact that I’m also an engineer.

KATE REID: I cottoned on pretty quickly that if I liked this thing too, then I’d get to spend more time with him.

Kate: I’m actually disappointed with Syme’s performance this year. Certainly Williams would be.

Kate: We just both loved watching Formula One, it was really the thing that we would do every week together.

KATE REID: In 1996, the Australian Grand Prix moved from its home in Adelaide to Melbourne. So this was my first time experiencing an F1 car, and it wasn’t a car, It was just a blur and a noise and a vibration. This sport before, but it was that moment witnessing it in person that I was like, oh no, nothing else matters now. This is my whole life. That’s what I’m going to do. I don’t know how I’m going to be involved, but I don’t want anything else in my life now other than that.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: Oh, look, it was passion. She actually did write on a bit of paper that by the age of 23, she was actually going to have a job in Formula One.

(Kate opens piece of paper and talks to producer behind the camera)

I can’t believe I’m sharing this with you. I was such a drama queen. It is titled My Formula One Pledge. I vow that in the eight years between my 17th birthday and my 25th birthday, I will give it my all. Oh, God. Give it my best. Strive to be number one — wait for it — in the shadows of everyone’s doubts. That’s enough.

It’s a pretty daggy note, let’s be honest. (laughs) But it was written by a passionate, determined teenager with a steely river, certain that she was going to achieve her dream

KATE REID: I was fascinated by aerospace engineering in how it applied to Formula One.

CAM REID, BROTHER: I just remember Kate studying, studying, studying. wanting to gain access into the RMIT aerospace program. My life goals really didn’t extend past most weekends.

BOB REID, FATHER: that course is an extremely hard course. The first year I was quite a bit of help to Kate. The second year, I gave a bit of advice. Third year I made cups of tea because I was lost.

KATE REID: I finished aerospace at the end of 2004. I thought I’m going to start writing off to all the Formula One teams, maybe never contemplating that I was annoying, or that I would be one of a thousand letters that landed on an F1 desk every week. I just thought, if I keep trying, it will happen.

CAM REID, BROTHER: The next thing we knew, Kate had been offered a job at Williams in the UK. It was amazing.

BOB REID, FATHER: She was absolutely elated by it. I mean, for a girl to get a job in the aero lab at Williams F1 was unheard of.

KATE REID: I was suddenly an engineer and aerodynamicist working for my dream F1 team. It was wild. I imagined it would be an incredibly collaborative environment, but the best way I can describe it is it was incredibly static. I was simply just a monkey put in front of a computer to design parts that I had no input or influence in.

KATE REID: I was the only female working in a technical role in a company of 500 people. They hadn’t even considered the need for a female toilet.

BOB REID, FATHER: Those sort of things, I think, gradually built into a dissatisfaction, or disillusionment, of where she was.

KATE REID: I didn’t have my friends and family around me but I was sticking at life in the UK because not living in the UK anymore meant failing at my dream. If I wasn’t working in Formula One, I didn’t know who I was or what I was. And that was really kind of the start of the slippery slope of my mental health becoming very bad.

CAM REID, BROTHER: With Kate’s craving for a purpose, not actually having one I think was really, really challenging for her.

KATE REID: And at some point in time, subconsciously, I started to make choices where I could pull aspects of control back into my life. I joined a local gym. I would record exactly what I’d eaten. So I’d weighed it, and I’d calculated the calories and I’d record how much exercise I’d done. And then I also weigh myself every morning and I’d record my weight. I could latch on to it and I could control it. And I was getting really good results. Giving an engineer numbers and facts to focus on is like, that’s what we live for.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: When she came back, one of the Christmases, it was obvious her wellbeing was not good. And when I questioned her, she was very quick to say but I’m eating well, I’m actually exercising. I’m healthy. But there was an obvious drop in weight.

KATE REID: It was none of their business and I was kind of relieved to go back to the UK, even though the job that I was in wasn’t really giving me any deep fulfilment or stimulation, I was just happy to get back to the control and the safety of my routine back there.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: We actually could see she was spiraling out of control. I think we knew we knew what was coming. But she wasn’t prepared to let it go.

KATE REID: f I wasn’t this groundbreaking female engineer working in Formula One, then maybe it didn’t matter if I didn’t exist anymore. I wasn’t just going to keep losing weight and keep existing. I was going to keep losing weight and die.

BOB REID, FATHER: We had a call one night and she was clearly not doing well and totally beside herself. And that’s hard.

KATE REID: Dad said to me, he just told me to come home.

CAM REID, BROTHER: Dad assumed the role that he had countless times in her life and went over to the UK and did what needed to be done.

KATE REID: And then I remember landing in Melbourne, and it was very early in the morning. And Mum had come to the airport to pick us up.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: It was terrible. She was …. she was in a shocking condition.

CAM REID, BROTHER: It was like, who’s that? It was clear Kate was anorexic. There was no doubt.

BOB REID, FATHER: We were told that had we not gone to get her, we might not have had a daughter to bring back.

Kate: So the day I landed back in Australia, I had two meetings that day, and one of them was with the family GP, but the other one was here at Phillippa’s

KATE REID: I’d started to form this seed of an idea that when I returned to Australia, maybe I’d pursue a career in baking. It was a way for me to vicariously be around food and ingredients without eating it. Like essentially working at Philippa’s was like a nine-hour staring competition with temptation.

If I could get through an entire day and resist the temptation to try even a morsel of food, that was a success for me.

KATE REID: It’s the most logical thing and the most difficult thing to understand all at once. Like, all I could think about all day was food, because I was starving.

I do remember one day we had brownies out on the counter as a taster, and I, in that moment, just couldn’t resist it. And I tasted a little bit. And I got home that night and had almost a full blown panic attack. Yeah. Inconsolable.

KATE REID: It wasn’t until I really started to build a medical team around me, that the enormity of the situation we were in really came to light.

(Kate and June in the kitchen) Kate: what do you want to do, do you want to do the butter. June: You just go for it. Kate: No we’re baking together 

JUNE REID, MOTHER: We had to find a new GP. And then there had to be a psychologist, a dietician. We ended up with a psychiatrist.

BOB REID, FATHER: We only later became aware of the fact that the eating disorder is not the cause, it’s the symptom.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: People think they only need to eat. That’s not the problem. That’s actually, you know, got nothing to do with it.

Kate: You seemed to understand that it was more than a problem with the eating, and you just gave me the space to figure it out for myself. And you were just there and supporting me.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: When Kate came back, she took over the kitchen. She actually had my mixer going all the time baking, and she loved to make sure that I was going to eat it.

Kate: Well I was the head chef in the kitchen for a few years there, but probably not for the best reasons, because I had to be in control of what we were eating, didn’t I? You did. I think you thought baking kept your dad and I happy.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: I actually found it hard because I didn’t want to keep eating all this cake. Actually, she wore my mixer out. In the end, we had to buy a new one.

KATE REID: I would come home from work and I would eat the minuscule meal that I would insist on preparing. Mum wasn’t allowed to cook. I just became so insular and selfish. The anorexia was filling that space of my brain that required purpose and control and obsession and focus. And I got a lot worse before I got better.

CAM REID, BROTHER: Anorexic Kate was a ticking time bomb. Mum and Dad were terrified of the fallout of upsetting her. Kate was trapped in in this anorexic prison, and Mum and Dad were trapped in there with her.

KATE REID: I would take myself out walking for hours after dinner every night. I’d rug up, like this skeletal frame of a human. And Dad said some nights he would just drive around the streets trying to find me.

BOB REID, FATHER: when you know your kid is sick and you can’t fix it. It’s really hard. I think all we could do, all we could ever do was be here.

CAM REID, BROTHER: I’ve got to be honest, like, I was a bit of a prick, right? I was not going to treat Kate like an anorexic. I’m not going to treat Kate like she’s sick. I’m going to treat Kate like she’s my sister. And I actually think really that actually helped us a lot

KATE REID: I was also trying to figure out a new purpose. And until I found that new purpose, the eating disorder was going to occupy all of that space.

Masterchef V/O:My name’s Kate Reid, and I’m here to change my life. 

Masterchef — V/O: Gary: So why food, why Masterchef? Kate: you know, I didn’t really like Formula One. Kind of heart breaking, its 15 years of study and work and you think actually this isn’t what really makes me tick 

KATE REID: when I watch it, I see someone that was desperately trying to find the thing that was going to pull her out of the eating disorder.

Kate: C’mon boys

Matt: I think you’ve kind of got what it might take. George: Honestly if that fish was perfectly cooked…it would be a yes. 

JUNE REID, MOTHER: It wasn’t the right time for Kate. She wasn’t in a good place to do that.

George: Thank you very much. 

Kate: Thank you. 

Matt: That’s talent walking out the door there.

KATE REID: I can take myself back to that moment and remember how desperately I just needed something to define me again.

KATE REID: I was slowly gaining confidence in my baking. And the further I pushed my baking education and knowledge, the more and more satisfaction I got from it, and then I discovered French pastry.

BOB REID, FATHER: To do it well, it requires precision. Control. All of those things that are required in engineering are also applicable to pastry.

KATE REID: I was well into my French pastry obsession. And I’d read about this particular book online about Paris Patisseries and Boulangeries

Kate: Well, this book is incredibly important to me. Um, it really changed the course of my life.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: For some reason. She opened up this book on a page and she was so taken with the pastry she was looking at.

KATE REID: It was taken at a boulangerie in the 10th arrondissement in Paris and it was the most hypnotizing thing I’d ever seen.

(Kate sits on floor with book open) 

A stack of pain au chocolat which represents pastry and butter and decadence. But it also, to me, looked a little bit like aerofoil sections. Maybe an aerodynamicist’s brain sees that. I was so inspired by it that I closed the book, walked up to Camberwell, and I bought myself a ticket to Paris.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: I think Bob probably was a little bit more encouraging than I because she still wasn’t a good weight.

KATE REID: They couldn’t stop me. I was I wasn’t a 14-year-old, I was a 27, 28-year-old with a stubborn mind and that steely river of determination. I waited until the very last day I was in Paris to visit the boulangerie from the book

PAT NOURSE, FOOD WRITER: Next thing you know, in a classic Kate Reid moment, she’s visiting the best boulangerie in Paris and then wangles her way into a work placement there. Just like that.

NATHAN TOLEMAN: FRIEND AND BUSINESS PARTNER: I think the word’s chutzpah, isn’t it? Or gumption. This guy must have got hundreds of applicants a week from people who are probably twice as qualified. Could speak the language. What is it that made him say yes to Kate?

KATE REID: So specifically the croissant to me is the formula one of the pastry world. It’s incredibly technical. It’s difficult to make well and I guess it’s where I found the intersection of baking, art, science and engineering.

KATE REID: That four weeks in Paris was an important part in my recovery, because I wasn’t thinking or worrying about what I was or wasn’t eating, or how I was or wasn’t going to burn it off. I was eating because I was hungry again.

CAM REID, BROTHER: When Kate got back from her stage at Dupain. She was croissant focused. It was on.

KATE REID: And it just became apparent that no one was making croissants in Melbourne, anything like what I’d experienced in Paris. I only wanted to make something that was excellent, so I decided it was best to focus on making the one product I had knowledge in.

NATHAN TOLEMAN: FRIEND AND BUSINESS PARTNER: Kate then said to me, hey, I really want to create a business around the croissant. And I have to be honest, I thought it was a bit of a crazy idea.

KATE REID: Almost everyone’s reaction was, well, you can’t just start a business that makes croissants. No one will come to that. So I found a site and signed the lease, created a business. Did all the things, and then had my first day where I decided I was going to start recipe testing

Kate in the kitchen: OK so this is test number three

BOB REID, FATHER: What she learnt in Paris barely got her past making the dough. So the rest was up to her.

KATE REID: And so I embarked on it would have been three and a half months every day of recipe testing. I had spreadsheets, I’d record photos and data and and it really was like I was starting to treat the croissant like a Formula One car. It was it was classic me. It was all consuming.

BOB REID, FATHER: Well, it was a fairly tortuous path. I would eat the bad ones.

JUNE REID, MOTHER: When she actually perfected the croissant that put the biggest smile on her face. She knew she knew she’d got it.

PAT NOURSE, FOOD WRITER: In working it out for herself, she came up with something new.

KATE REID: So I’d been operating Lune for about 18 months in this micro bakery wholesale model but it was really when Cam came on board and we opened the shop to the public, it really took off then.

CAM REID, BROTHER: I thought I was going to just help Kate for a few months. But pretty quickly we realised that it was going to require full-time commitment from both of us for a long time.

NATHAN TOLEMAN: FRIEND AND BUSINESS PARTNER: There was just this kind of commotion going around Melbourne of like, have you tried a Lune croissant? Have you tried a Lune croissant?

KATE REID: We had people arriving from like 2:00 in the morning, and by 630 there was 120 people lined up around the block. And it was the dead of winter.

BOB REID, FATHER: Some guys would be there at 430 in a chair. I mean, I wouldn’t do that, would you? (laughs)

Cam and Kate walking into the pub and having lunch: Cam: It was Kate’s baby. I mean, I’d never worked in a business, Kate: a dictatorship. (laughs) sorry.

CAM REID, BROTHER: It was a very slow process for me to start making the product. Kate was very focused on controlling the product.

Kate: I basically didn’t let anyone touch the pastry. Cam: I wasn’t allowed to touch it.

CAM REID, BROTHER: I’m not afraid to upset Kate. I’m probably the only one who’s who’s not. You can’t walk on eggshells around a business partner. You have to be able to communicate openly

Kate: I trusted you. Cam: But also we could just both be ourselves. And if one of us was rubbing the other one the wrong way. Kate: We just scream about it. Cam: Yeah

CAM REID, BROTHER: I believe Kate’s journey out of anorexia occurred primarily because of Lune. And the requirements of the anorexic voice inside Kate’s head just didn’t get any airtime.

Kate: It was like the mental real estate was fully consumed by Lune and pushing it forward and making sure that we did everything we needed to every day to open the doors. Yeah..

KATE REID: And then Oliver Strand from the New York Times ate one plain croissant. And then suddenly The New York Times is questioning that maybe the best croissant in the world is made in Australia at Lune. And we’re getting wild global attention for our croissants.

CAM REID, BROTHER: Things were already busy. And then that article happened, and the crazy line became like it was something else.

KATE REID: There is no such thing as the best croissant in the world. And honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered if that article had have come out or not. If I’m going to do something, it has to be the best it can possibly be. The healing process from an eating disorder is very slow. You have to find things in your life that become more important than eating and exercise.

CAM REID, BROTHER: I’m so proud of Kate for overcoming the anorexia. She navigated her way out. I can’t imagine how challenging that would have been. Having to fight yourself.

KATE REID: I’ve gotten back to a healthy weight, and a relationship with food that allows me to live a rich and fulfilling life. But it is like an addiction. It’s something that you have to monitor. So it’s management of rather than full healing and recovery.

BOB REID, FATHER: She will always have that shadow, but it’s what you do with it.

KATE REID: It definitely flares in times of stress. But I’m able to catch catch the early signs and recognise them and act on them.

KATE REID: of all the mental health illnesses, anorexia has the highest mortality rate. And… I feel very lucky that I dodged that.

BOB REID, FATHER: With all that’s happened to her, she survived.

KATE REID: Growing Lune has been the hardest and the best thing for me personally, because we think we can have control of everything, but we just can’t. And learning to accept that is probably the hardest lesson I’ve ever had to learn.

NATHAN TOLEMAN: FRIEND AND BUSINESS PARTNER: That was a really hard step for Kate to let go of being such a control freak or a perfectionist, as most creative geniuses are. It is okay to let go.

KATE REID: 25-year-old Kate would have been terrified by that and leant into negative habits like the eating disorder. But 43-year-old Kate is actually really excited about a semi unknown future. I think success means something different to me than it used to. Maybe the best thing is I just don’t know exactly what the future holds, and I’m okay with that.