If I Might Time Journey

By ACLU of Mississippi Youth Advocacy Coordinator, Constance Gordon

As I sit right here on National Gay Straight Alliance Day and take into consideration what my life would have been like with the existence of a Gay Straight Alliance, I’m wondering if “coming out” to my mother would have taken 21 years. More importantly, I’m wondering if “coming out” to myself would have taken 15. As a baby you might be within the palms of the adults who govern you and in Pike County Mississippi, our palms had been sturdy, strict, and STRAIGHT.

My greatest concern was what was fallacious with me. Why was I feeling these emotions? Who can I inform, even who can I ask? I did not even know if I used to be homosexual. Just the considered it made me cringe. I used to be afraid of being deserted by my mom, being harassed by my classmates, I used to be even afraid of being that unfortunate sufferer of a homosexual bashing gone too far. From abandonment to demise, the chances appeared actually towards me on this one. I did not even wish to be homosexual!

This is after I wanted that hero… like a “GSA Man” (or lady) to return and swoop me off my toes into the land of Gay Straight Alliance! To a protected area the place I used to be free to really feel how I felt, love who I preferred, and specific my emotions freely. Yeah, that did not occur. I used to be “in the closet” for eight of the longest years of my life. One day a sense came to visit me to the place I did not care anymore and I simply needed to embrace me. I made a decision the subsequent time somebody requested or insinuated about my sexuality, I used to be going to give it to them GAY, not straight. And I did simply that.

My mom mentioned she all the time knew and most of my household had an identical response once they heard the information. These had been the individuals I beloved and the individuals I revered and anticipated to guard me. They accepted me. I by no means thought it could have been as simple as opening my mouth.

A GSA could have empowered me to just accept who I’m, perceive my sexuality, and perceive the world and the way it affected me a lot sooner. Gaining the data, having the help, and being surrounded by like-minded youth and adults could have had me on a soapbox years in the past! As I look again on my youthful years, the shortage of existence of an “out” homosexual individual or a publicly acknowledged “gay friendly” institution made it tough to fathom sporting my sexuality on my sleeve (and even round my ankle). That’s why I help the Gay Straight Alliance and am devoted to creating certain each LGBT youth has a protected area in Mississippi.

I want I may return in time and create a GSA in my faculty. Working with the ACLU of Mississippi Youth of Color Project has given me the chance to “time travel” and tackle long-term, deep rooted points and prolong help to LGBT youth in Mississippi who may have that little further help on their journey. Every individual deserves to really feel accepted, every youngster deserves to really feel protected, and nobody ought to ever be uncared for. Here’s to the GSA’s of America! I salute you!