We’re all about to be in wearable hell

This is Optimizer, a weekly e-newsletter despatched each Friday from Verge senior reviewer Victoria Song that dissects and discusses the most recent telephones, smartwatches, apps, and different gizmos that swear they’re going to vary your life. Optimizer arrives in our subscribers’ inboxes at 10AM ET. Opt in for Optimizer right here.

I had a significant drawback through the unboxing of my Meta Ray-Ban Display assessment unit. To management the glasses’ Display, you have to put on a separate neural band in your dominant wrist. That isn’t an issue for most individuals, however I take a look at wearables for a residing. I’m at all times double-wristing smartwatches. That specific day, my dominant wrist was in any other case occupied by the Google Pixel Watch 4. If the neural band and Pixel Watch 4 couldn’t play properly collectively, I used to be in an actual pickle.

Thankfully, they did play properly collectively. The Oura Ring 4 on my proper index finger, nevertheless, didn’t. It interfered with the scrolling gestures, so I needed to change it to my different hand.

Cue a facepalm that might’ve made Captain Picard proud.

Later that day, I tended to the dumpster hearth that’s my inbox. Various wearable corporations had laid siege. Had I completed testing their machine? Would I be keen on testing yet one more? It’s anecdotal, however in 2025, I’ve been pitched extra wearable gadgets than in another 12 months in my whole profession. I needed to scream. I solely have two wrists, 10 fingers (solely six of that are acceptable for sensible rings), two ears, a chest, neck, and face upon which to check an ever-increasing variety of devices meant to be worn 24/7, one year a 12 months.

For most of my profession, I’d wholeheartedly agree that this can be a rarefied drawback I volunteered for and receives a commission to take care of. Except within the final two years, I’ve had a sinking feeling that Big Tech more and more desires extra folks — maybe everybody — to dwell like I do.

This dread first snuck up on me after I examined the Samsung Galaxy Ring final 12 months. As I wrote in my assessment, this was not a tool designed to face by itself. While you may use it as a smartwatch different, it’s meant as an adjunct for a Galaxy Watch. It’s a way of sucking you into Samsung’s orbit. As sensible rings gained steam, an growing variety of mates, household, coworkers, friends, and readers have requested for my learn on the Oura Ring. The majority had been looking for one thing comfier and with longer battery life than a smartwatch, however blanched on the concept of giving up glanceable notifications or haptic alarms. Many gave me the stink eye after I stated the Oura Ring works finest in tandem with a smartwatch, not in lieu of it, for most folks.

Now sprinkle the latest inflow of AI {hardware} on prime of this.

Humane’s ill-fated AI Pin was one thing you wore in your lapel, however couldn’t change a cellphone or smartwatch. When I examined Bee, an always-listening AI wearable, I needed to determine whether or not it took up restricted wrist actual property or was pinned to my neck. I used to be considerably relieved that for all its faults, Friend was one thing to put on round my neck, a comparatively unused physique half in wearable tech… to this point.

It’s clear to me that within the seek for what comes after the smartphone, tech corporations have determined they need to dwell on — and finally, in — our our bodies. (See: brain-computer interfaces and steady glucose displays.)

I want I may write this off as my paranoia. Unfortunately, you may see indicators of it in how tech executives talk about this subsequent wave of hands-free computing.

Earlier this summer time, I spoke with Sandeep Waraich, Google’s product lead for Pixel Wearables, and Rishi Chandra, Google’s VP of Fitbit and Health. Both informed me in plain phrases that Google envisions “the future will be a diverse set of accessories” embedded with AI. The enchantment of smartwatches and headphones, they informed me, was that they’re current merchandise you already use.

Similarly, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg just lately informed Sources, “There are between 1 to 2 billion people who wear glasses daily for vision correction. Is there a world where, in five or seven years, the vast majority of those glasses are AI glasses in some capacity?” Meanwhile, Apple can be stated to be pivoting towards sensible glasses, and it’s no thriller what its stance on product ecosystem is. The extra you purchase, the higher.

Add Samsung’s play with the Galaxy Ring plus regardless of the heck OpenAI’s Sam Altman and Jony Ive are making, and you’ve got compelling proof that Big Tech’s energy gamers are all working towards placing as many devices on us as they’ll. It’d be good if it may very well be streamlined to one wearable, however the problem is that no two our bodies are ever the identical. You’d by no means snooze with sensible glasses to trace sleep, sensible rings are ill-advised for weight lifting, and smartwatches merely aren’t snug for some folks.

Call me a cynic. I totally consider these corporations will all tout that you just’ll have a selection during which equipment you utilize, whereas additionally making you really feel such as you’re lacking out in case you don’t purchase the whole lot.

It’s not simply Big Tech, both. A couple of months in the past, Health Secretary RFK Jr., whereas talking about steady glucose displays and health trackers, stated he desires a wearable on each American in 4 years. Fold that in together with this push towards smartwatches, sensible rings, and sensible glasses? Welcome to my life, child.

This existential disaster was dropped at you by a Vergecast hotline I helped reply earlier this week. The caller requested whether or not they need to embark on a two-smartwatch life. Their Apple Watch alone was not adequate for his or her routine of monitoring energy coaching and working. To get the very best efficiency, ought to they add a Garmin and juggle between each merchandise?

My reply stays a visceral “Absolutely not.”

My tolerance for this multi-device hellscape is excessive, nevertheless it’s nonetheless a hellscape. Look at me. I dwell a lifetime of everlasting double watch tans, getting negged by AI necklaces, and 30-minute knowledge assessment classes each morning after I get up and after each exercise. My eyes damage from continually taking a look at sensible glasses shows. (They’re not often optimally positioned!) When I put on CGMs, I find yourself scrutinizing the impression of each morsel of meals that passes my lips. Anytime I get a notification, my physique vibrates from numerous gadgets desirous to let me know {that a} neighbor has walked previous my Nest Doorbell. As I’ve written in a latest Optimizer, I’ve to construct in detox days to make sure I use these instruments, not the opposite method round.

If the purpose of all that is to make life higher, then I would like Big Tech to have a deep, lengthy take into consideration whether or not the issues they’re attempting to unravel had been ever actually issues to start with. Take it from me, a wearable maximalist: I’m exhausted, working out of physique elements, and feeling extra cyborg than human with every passing day. And if we blindly race towards a future the place everybody seems like that? We’ve overlooked why any of us ever beloved know-how within the first place.

Photography by Victoria Song / The Verge