Should I inform my neighbor concerning the alligator within the lake we swim in?

DEAR ABBY: I’m a senior man residing subsequent door to a barely older lady. We reside in lakefront houses and revel in being energetic collectively within the water throughout our retirement years. Recently, I used to be looking the window and noticed an alligator swimming by about 50 yards away. Alligators are nearly unknown in our a part of the lake, however they’re recognized to reside within the space.

Should I inform my neighbor that I noticed an alligator, which is able to trigger her a lot worry that she could by no means need to swim once more? If she does proceed to swim, will she dwell so closely on the hazard that I’ll have ruined any remaining pleasure she will get from being within the water? On the opposite hand, if I don’t inform her, she may very well be putting herself in peril. Obviously, I might miss my pal and really feel horrible if something occurred to her. Please advise. — VIGILANT IN TEXAS

DEAR VIGILANT: Which is extra essential? Your neighbor’s life or her swimming? If you don’t warn her about what you noticed, and he or she loses a toe, a foot, an arm or her life, how will you’re feeling then? Please … converse up!

P.S. Do YOU plan to proceed swimming the place there are alligators? Think! YOU may very well be bitten, too.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been married 56 years. For the previous yr or so, we quarrel about all the pieces — main points and minor, insignificant issues. There is nothing however bickering, disagreement and battle. We can have a few good days after which struggle over some small subject, or an harmless response or remark from considered one of us — and in seconds, we’re arguing.

Several main points are instantaneous triggers, however there’s additionally resentment, harm emotions, and terrible issues we’ve mentioned to one another. I believe we nonetheless love one another, however I don’t assume we like one another very a lot.

We each really feel a mediator is what we’d like, somebody to listen to either side and make a judgment as to whose place is extra legitimate. We have tried to seek out one — not a therapist or marriage counselor. We’ve completed some analysis solely to seek out therapists who focus on drug habit, younger {couples} and dysfunctional households, and they’re all youthful than our grown kids.

We want somebody who’s no less than 55, skilled and skilled to hearken to either side of a problem, and who could be goal with out truly taking sides and provides us an answer or opinion on how we are able to work via the problems amicably. How can we go about this? — TRYING TO FIX IT IN THE WEST

DEAR TRYING: I like that you just two try to resolve your marital difficulties, and that you just acknowledge that you just need assistance. What you want is a wedding and household therapist. Ask your physician to refer you to some who’re licensed and ideally older. Interview a number of and see which one you and your husband are snug speaking to. The enter you’re in search of is inside their purview, significantly since you are in search of compromise.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.