We offered all the things to journey—this is why we got here again after 6 months

1. The “location independence” delusion hit totally different

Remote work sounds superb till you are troubleshooting Zoom calls at 3 AM as a result of your consumer is in New York and also you’re in Thailand.

Nobody mentions that “work from anywhere” usually turns into “work from everywhere, all the time.” We’d be at a gorgeous seashore, and I’d be refreshing Slack. Emma could be enhancing images in a restaurant in Morocco whereas fielding emails a couple of mission that could not wait.

The boundaries we have been supposedly escaping? They simply turned extra blurred. At least in Brooklyn, I may go away the workplace.

2. Minimalism regarded higher on Instagram

Before we left, we did the entire Marie Kondo factor. Does this spark pleasure? If not, promote it. We have been ruthless. Down to 2 backpacks every, pleased with ourselves for being so enlightened.

What no person tells you: continuously changing primary stuff you want will get costly and exhausting. Need a correct kitchen knife? Buy one, use it for a month, give it away. Need a good pillow as a result of the hostel one is mainly a sack of rocks? Same cycle.

The minimalist aesthetic is gorgeous till you notice you are simply creating waste with additional steps.

3. Community is not one thing you possibly can Airbnb

I’m an introvert—I figured I’d be positive with surface-level connections and transferring on each few weeks. Turns out, people are wired for belonging, and transient relationships hit totally different after they’re all you have got.

You meet superb individuals in hostels, have deep conversations, alternate Instagrams, after which… nothing. Everyone’s at all times leaving. Including you. Emma and I began having the identical dialog with new individuals each few days. Where are you from? How lengthy are you touring? It began feeling like Groundhog Day with totally different accents.

Meanwhile, my buddies again dwelling have been deepening their relationships, exhibiting up for one another’s onerous moments. We have been amassing acquaintances.

4. Decision fatigue turned the precise job

Every few days, we had to determine: Where subsequent? How will we get there? Where will we keep? Is it secure? What’s the visa scenario? Can we discover dependable WiFi?

The psychological load of fixed decision-making is actual. What began as freedom turned its personal form of exhausting routine. Emma and I have been spending hours each week simply on logistics. Planning the subsequent transfer. Researching. Booking. Adapting when issues inevitably fell by.

I bear in mind sitting in a restaurant in Lisbon, spending my total afternoon attempting to determine our subsequent three stops, considering: “Is this really what I quit my stable life for?”

5. The relationship could not disguise behind routine anymore

Here’s the factor no person mentions about touring as a pair: you are collectively continuously. Not “come home after work and watch TV together” collectively. Twenty-four hours a day collectively.

Emma and I had been positive in New York as a result of we had our separate routines, our personal buddies, our totally different areas. On the highway, we have been one another’s all the things—social life, coworker, roommate, leisure. Turns out we might been utilizing our busy lives to keep away from noticing we might grown aside.

Without the buffer of regular life, each incompatibility turned apparent. She needed to celebration in hostels. I needed quiet guesthouses. We broke up two months after getting again, however truthfully, the connection ended someplace between Vietnam and Cambodia.

6. “Finding yourself” is usually simply… boredom

The non secular awakening I used to be anticipating? Didn’t occur. Instead, I spent loads of time simply… ready. Waiting for buses. Waiting in airports. Waiting for the subsequent factor to really feel significant.

Social media makes journey appear like one peak expertise after one other. The actuality is usually mundane moments punctuated by occasional “wow” cases that you just then spend 45 minutes attempting to {photograph} accurately. I did study issues about myself, certain. But I may’ve discovered them quicker and cheaper by remedy.

The geographic distance did not create the psychological distance I believed it might. Wherever you go, there you’re—and apparently, I’m somebody who likes construction, routine, and a drawer filled with matching socks.

7. The privilege guilt received heavier

This one’s uncomfortable however wants saying. We have been touring by locations the place individuals earned in a month what we might spend on a pleasant dinner. The financial disparities you possibly can intellectually perceive from afar turn into visceral whenever you’re residing them.

Emma and I might be complaining about gradual WiFi whereas watching individuals work development jobs in excessive warmth for wages we could not fathom. We’d haggle over value variations that meant nothing to us however may imply all the things to a avenue vendor.

The “finding ourselves” narrative began feeling embarrassingly self-indulgent. We weren’t doing something significant. We have been simply consuming experiences in numerous places.

Final ideas

Coming again felt like failure at first. We’d made this massive dramatic exit, informed everybody we have been executed with standard life. Having to confess it did not work out was humbling.

But this is what I really discovered: the life you are working from is often the life you have to repair, not flee. Geography does not clear up inner issues. The “digital nomad” way of life works for some individuals, genuinely, nevertheless it’s not the automated improve the Instagram posts counsel.

I’m again in a one-bedroom in Queens now. I’ve a drawer filled with matching socks. I see my buddies commonly. I’ve a favourite espresso store the place they know my order. And truthfully? I’m happier than I used to be in any of the “paradise” places we visited. Turns out roots aren’t a jail—they’re simply what occurs whenever you cease working lengthy sufficient to really develop.