a studying expertise in vulnerability, empathy and redefining energy |

When I obtained affirmation to attend the Global Forum for Bioethics in Research in Ghana (18-19 Nov), I used to be thrilled, but additionally a bit anxious. At 26 weeks pregnant, touring internationally and alone was not a choice everybody understood. “Can you travel during this time? Is it even allowed? How will you manage? Why now? Why alone? Take someone with you!”  Even my physician hesitated. I negotiated drugs, precautions, and promised it will be a brief, work-only journey. Five days, out and in. No sightseeing. No dangers.

But, beneath the priority lay one thing deeper: the cultural lens. In India, being pregnant usually comes wrapped in layers of warning, management, and concern. It’s seen much less as a pure course of and extra as a fragile state requiring fixed safety – of the lady or the unborn youngster? Maternal well being outcomes differ throughout geographies and contexts, however so do societal attitudes and perceptions in direction of being pregnant and pregnant girls. In a patriarchal society like India, real well being dangers usually coexist with the cultural narratives that amplify concern round being pregnant and prohibit autonomy of girls. Was my choice to journey formed by a need to problem that narrative? Perhaps.

The anxiousness and the preparation

Moreover, my very own apprehensions have been actual. Memories of my final worldwide journey (a missed flight, misplaced baggage, a panic assault in the midst of the night time) haunted me. Crossing the identical airport for my connection this time felt like reliving a nightmare. So, I ready meticulously: medical experiences, medicines, being pregnant declaration kind, compression socks, wholesome snacks, even an Air Tag for my suitcase. ‘Packing light but smart’ grew to become my mantra. Yet, with the necessities and ‘just-in-case’ objects, it didn’t find yourself being mild : ) Still, I used to be decided to remain optimistic and return house protected.

The awkwardness of asking for assist

Before leaving, everybody suggested: “Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Be shameless.” Easier mentioned than accomplished. For somebody who has all the time prided herself on being unbiased, asking for help felt unnatural, nearly like admitting weak spot. I hesitated, fumbled, and generally simply did issues on my own, even once I knew I shouldn’t.

What made it more durable was the invisible nature of my want. Unlike somebody aged or visibly disabled, my being pregnant wasn’t all the time apparent. I felt eyes scanning me, silently questioning “Does she really need help?”. So, I discovered myself remembering my physician’s recommendation, keep away from lengthy standing, no lifting… and with that in thoughts, I stored repeating “I’m pregnant”. I in all probability mentioned it extra throughout these 22 hours of journey than in my complete six months of being pregnant.  “I’m pregnant, can you help me”; “I’m pregnant, I can’t stand in a long queue”; “I’m pregnant, I can’t lift this, it’s heavy”. Each time it felt awkward, like I used to be justifying my existence, and my choice for selecting motherhood. Only slowly I acquired a little bit used to asking for assist and have become a bit extra vocal about my want throughout my return journey. The convention in between, the place my requests have been politely accommodated with none questions or judgements,  additionally helped me ease into this.

Moments that touched me, humbled me

There have been moments of grace that I’ll always remember. A form airline employees member who observed my discomfort and quietly rearranged issues so I might sit sooner. A fellow passenger who provided to raise my bag with out me asking. These gestures made me really feel seen, revered, and protected. And but, not each interplay was like that. Some employees appeared unaware or detached, and I needed to clarify and justify my wants repeatedly, even after declaring my being pregnant as per airline guidelines, which mandate sharing a duplicate of my being pregnant declaration kind with the pilot and the cabin crew.

This inconsistency revealed a much bigger fact: the system isn’t designed to proactively determine and assist those that want help. Except for Delhi Airport, I didn’t discover any indicators for particular help in any of the opposite airports, for aged, expectant moms, moms with babies or folks with disabilities. This made it much more troublesome to hunt help. With the bodily and psychological fatigue of managing alone, it did grow to be overwhelming and lonely at instances.

Yet, I puzzled: if it’s this difficult for somebody like me, quickly depending on assist, what should or not it’s like for folks with disabilities or invisible situations who navigate these challenges each single day? I reached out to a buddy with a motor incapacity to know her experiences, and she or he shared comparable stories- usually being regarded down upon or pitied for looking for help, as an alternative of simply respectfully supported. She added how folks with disabilities are continuously made to really feel embarrassed for looking for assist and that such interactions usually carry a tone of judgement earlier than assist. As an able-bodied particular person, I spotted how ignorant we regularly are, of the fixed negotiations folks with totally different wants make whereas touring. This expertise humbled me.

What this journey taught me

Traveling whereas pregnant taught me one thing that goes far past airports and baggage. It taught me persistence to begin with (nonetheless a piece in progress for me). I additionally learnt that energy doesn’t all the time lie in independence, doing all of it by ourselves, and by no means asking for assist. True energy lies in figuring out when to lean on others, when to belief, and when to confess vulnerability. Experiencing the discomfort of asking for assist, additionally made me extra delicate to the invisible struggles others face.

In skilled areas, we regularly speak about inclusion and accessibility, however how usually will we actually perceive the lived experiences of individuals behind these phrases? This journey jogged my memory that empathy isn’t only a worth, it must be practiced, by noticing, anticipating, and appearing with out ready for somebody to justify their want.

The two days on the convention have been certainly very enriching (and I’ll share my reflections on that individually), however travelling whereas pregnant grew to become a profound studying expertise in itself. I returned house with extra than simply skilled insights, I got here again with a little bit extra persistence, humility, and rather less awkwardness about asking for assist.

If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for assist—whether or not in life or at work, keep in mind this: vulnerability isn’t a weak spot. It’s a bridge. A bridge to connection, empathy, and progress!