Photograph Essay: The Reduction of the Second

Photography methods my ADHD mind into doing one thing borderline miraculous: It permits me to give attention to precisely one factor at a time. When I press the shutter and listen to that beautiful little ka-chunk, the inside chatter winks out. I really feel oddly related to the second by being exterior it, observing via the body as an alternative of occupying it. As an introvert, the perimeter fits me. Somewhere throughout the knobs, the clicks, and the small arithmetic of sunshine, I get a dependable second of quiet.

The complete course of is pleasantly dissociative, and if there’s one interest I’m unreasonably good at currently, it’s dissociating. I are inclined to compulsively over-edit my images. Not as a result of I believe they want it, however as a result of it’s a method again into the reduction of that second. I’m borrowing these scenes as locations to cover. I believe that’s why they often come off a bit dreamlike: I’m attempting to protect the fantasy of the way it felt to step out of the noise for a second.

I ought to point out that I had no explicit relationship with images till a director good friend of mine mistook my possession of a digital camera for competence. Since then, it’s been one lengthy facet quest, all kicked off by that auspicious misunderstanding. My director good friend—excellent at his job and really assured I used to be additional alongside than I really was—urged I ship him a lookbook to be thought of for a behind-the-scenes mission.

Technically, I used to be “doing photography.” I’d purchased a ’70s SLR and had shot a pair rolls of movie. But one thing informed me that wasn’t what he meant. So, after all, I mentioned nothing about how wildly unqualified I used to be. The timing was excellent in that completely horrible method: I used to be mid-breakup, and cosplaying as a photographer appeared like a promising detour from my emotions. It was avoidance you may bill, so I Googled “lookbook,” dragged a number of frames right into a template, and hit ship.

Shockingly, I acquired the gig. The first few days had been predictably disastrous. Apparently, it’s not “professional” to swear on the expertise. Or the consumer. Or the director. But by day three, the panic eased, and the digital camera began making sense. I observed one thing unusual: I felt extra like myself observing via the lens than I did standing within the room with out it. The complete course of clicked into place, simply as if it had been ready for me.

Photography provides that uncommon steadiness of technical and inventive expertise that flip the correct switches. It seems you may stumble into the factor you want most. So, I assume, seen via a sure gentle, you could possibly say I made a decision to be taught a completely new technical artwork kind as an elaborate technique of avoiding remedy.

How very Seattle of me.

Photography by Nick Ward.