I Need My Stays Stored Inside Spotify and Liquid Death’s Speaker Urn

Every occasionally, there’s a advertising gimmick so ridiculous that I have to concentrate. There was the Xbox mini fridge that was formed like a Series X, Cooler Master’s KFConsole, a PC that truly heated rooster, and now, to hitch these storied ranks of wacky gimmicks… Spotify and Liquid Death’s speaker urn.

Yeah, you learn that proper—speaker urn. The collaboration between Spotify and the more and more in style beverage firm, Liquid Death, is aptly dubbed the Eternal Playlist Speaker, and is formed like, nicely, an urn. It’s extraordinarily restricted version (solely 150 can be found for buy) and ridiculously costly at $495, nevertheless it’s nonetheless a whole lot of enjoyable if you happen to’re metallic like that.

Will this Bluetooth speaker sound good? Probably not. It’s made out of “polyester resin,” in response to Liquid Death, and the speaker is shoved inside a plastic urn, which ought to make for constancy that sounds pretty much as good as decaying flesh smells—however that’s not why you’d purchase this. If you wished good sound, you can purchase a non-urn-shaped speaker from Bose or one thing, however no, you need to be a spooky little creep, and for that I commend you.

There’s actually not a lot data on this factor—no listed battery life, driver specs, or any options—however the handbook reveals that there’s at the least one button for energy, an LED indicator that tells you when your morbid little speaker urn is charging or pairing, and a USB-C port for when the battery runs out of juice, similar to all of our batteries finally will.

Liquid Death doesn’t really present the within of the Eternal Playlist Speaker in its promotional video, so I can’t inform if it’s hole sufficient to make use of as an actual urn, however whether it is, I’m utilizing this weblog submit as an official report: I wish to be cremated and saved inside this gimmick speaker. The solely track you’re allowed to play out of this speaker after my ashes are shoved inside is Creed’s “Arms Wide Open.” This is a spiritually binding contract. I don’t have the cash to rent a lawyer, however simply know this: if my bidding isn’t achieved, I’ll hang-out the sh*t out of you.

If you’re critical about dropping 500 bones on a speaker urn, I suppose you are able to do so now. Liquid Death says they’re restricted to 5 urns per individual, although, so I suppose discover 4 of your deadest homies and have at it.