Mitch Brown co-hosts Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras six months after popping out as bisexual

Three months after ex-AFL participant, Mitch Brown, made the historic determination to come back out as bisexual he was bailed up by a media staffer at a Lady Gaga live performance.

“She said to me: ‘I don’t believe you.'”

“‘I don’t believe you, I think you’re in it for the fame. You’re really just gay, aren’t you?'” 

Taken aback by each the general public nature of the confrontation and what Mitch felt was blatant biphobia, he ended up attempting to justify himself to a stranger.

“I slipped into this vulnerable state of trying to convince her,” Brown mentioned.

“I felt like I had to give her an answer and make it OK for her, and then the next day I was like: ‘That’s not OK at all.'”

Fortunately, that have was a blip on what has been a comparatively optimistic six months for the primary male AFL participant, previous or current, to publicly determine as queer.

And now he is getting the prospect to co-host the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras for the primary time.

A ‘f*** this second’ on an Italian seaside

In the AFL’s 129-year historical past it is estimated that just about 15,000 males have performed professionally.

Given that even by essentially the most conservative estimates, roughly 1 in 20 Australians determine as a part of the LGBTQIA+ group, it is inconceivable that Mitch is the AFL’s first queer male participant.

That thought was what spurred Mitch into motion whereas holidaying in Italy together with his accomplice Lou halfway by way of final 12 months.

“We were sitting at the beach, having an Aperol spritz,” Brown mentioned.

As they sipped their drinks they have been listening to a podcast discussing how no male AFL participant had ever spoken brazenly about being queer.

“It was a ‘f*** this’ moment,” he mentioned. “I was just like, ‘This is not good enough.’

“I had this emotion of, ‘You know what? I’m going to face up and say ‘properly, that is not true.'”

Three days later, Brown contacted one of the podcast hosts, Sam Kowslowski, co-founder of The Daily Aus, and wrote: “I’m Mitch Brown. I performed for the West Coast Eagles for 10 years and I’m a bisexual man. I’d love to talk.”

“And that was it,” he said. “The relaxation was, I suppose, historical past.”

Overcoming doubts with chosen household

Three days may not seem like a long time to deliberate on becoming one of only a handful of Australian professional male athletes to ever come out, but Brown had already come out to friends and loved ones a few years ago — many of whom encouraged him to go public.

“I had a number of conversations with folks, particularly within the queer group, who would problem me and say: ‘You ought to say one thing,'” he mentioned.

“‘It would imply one thing to somebody and that is actually vital.'”

While Brown understood the precedent it would set, he was uncertain whether he was the right person for the job.

“I did not really feel like I had a voice due to my very own insecurities round bisexuality [and] my insecurities round my platform as a soccer participant,” he mentioned.

“[I thought] perhaps the primary individual … wanted to be somebody that was standard, somebody that was good at soccer, somebody that’s at present taking part in, and somebody that’s homosexual and might go to the Brownlow Medal strolling down the crimson carpet with a person.”

That inner critic kept Mitch from sharing his true self for many years, but that had started to shift.

“Over the previous few years, since I’ve actually owned and been proud and felt much less shameful about my sexuality and my id, I’ve been capable of finding the people who I really feel protected round,” he mentioned.

Ultimately although, Brown could not have accomplished it with out the love and help of his accomplice, Lou.

“[She created] a protected house, particularly at dwelling and in our relationship, to have the ability to convey up my full self and to have these conversations round who I’ve been interested in, and who I’m interested in, after which not concern judgement or the connection ending,” he mentioned.

“We perceive the implications of talking publicly about sexuality in a straight-presenting relationship as properly. But I felt protected sufficient and we did it.

“People go, ‘Yeah, Mitch, you did it,’ but it was very much a ‘we’ thing — myself and Lou — and that’s important.”

How the AFL might get higher

Reflecting on his interplay with the media staffer on the Lady Gaga live performance Mitch needs folks did not really feel the necessity to categorise others right into a binary of both homosexual or straight.

“You’ve got those moments of vulnerability, where those voices in your head go: ‘F***, maybe I am gay?’ But then you’re like, ‘No, hang on. I’m definitely not. I love my partner and she’s a woman. I’m attracted to women and I’m attracted to men,'” Brown mentioned.

He’s additionally extremely conscious there is a lengthy approach to go for the AFL to develop into an inclusive setting.

Brown thinks celebrating gamers who show optimistic behaviours and embody a wholesome model of manhood is a crucial first step.

“There’s a lot of players that are good men and are doing amazing work,” he mentioned.

“We can do a lot, and the AFL can do a lot in uplifting amazing people who are role models within the community.”

Brown desires folks to see the act of calling one another out as one among management and energy.

“The examples of what [being strong] means have changed,” he mentioned.

“It’s no longer remaining silent and letting things blow over.

“It’s now standing up for what your values are, it is proudly owning your errors — that is what energy is.

“[Because] it’s not just men’s AFL football, it’s all around — school yards for our young people, construction sites, group chats at the pub on the weekend and in the stands of sporting fields.”

Making it safer for the subsequent individual

While there was “no playbook” for popping out within the AFL, Brown was given confidence by different individuals who’ve been open about who they’re.

“There’s been amazing role models that I have been so grateful for and I’m so lucky to be able to now call friends, like Isaac Humphries and Josh Cavallo and a few others that have just been an amazing support,” he mentioned.

He hopes his determination will assist others who’re contemplating doing the identical.

“I see my role as [making] it a little bit safer for the next person,” he mentioned.

“I’m not going to say that it’s going to be 100 per cent safe for them — it’s not. But for that next person that does [come out] it will make it a bit safer for the next person after that and eventually [it won’t even matter].”

Brown hopes his story can supply reassurance to different younger males grappling with their sexuality, significantly in extremely masculine areas.

“These feelings of shame, these feelings of being anxious, looking around, trying to feel if this is a safe place or not, they’re only temporary,” he mentioned.

“And the things that shame you most will eventually be the very thing that you’re most proud of.”

There has been numerous pleasure and alternative for Brown since he got here out, together with the Mardi Gras co-hosting gig and being welcomed into queer communities throughout the nation.

“One of the greatest things about the last six months is being able to be in spaces where, I guess, where people do recognise you [and having] conversations not about myself, but conversations where people feel safe enough to share their experience, good, bad and ugly,” he mentioned.

While nonetheless adjusting to what constitutes “normal life” now that he is a public determine, Brown would not change a factor.

“The pursuit of finding your true self leads you to love, leads you to heartbreak, leads you to adventure, leads you to everything,” he mentioned.

“And that’s what makes life what it is.”

The reside broadcast of the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras parade begins Saturday February 28 at 7:30pm AEDT on ABC TV and ABC iview.