Reframing Nostalgia – Something Worth Missing

Reframing Nostalgia – Something Worth Missing 

Every February and March, as convention championship season unfolds throughout the nation, I discover myself pulled again in time. 

This time of 12 months, my pc is working additional time with the variety of tabs open. The livestreams are enjoying, the psych sheets are open, and outcomes pages are consistently being refreshed. Team buses are pulling as much as natatoriums that can, for 5 – 6 days, really feel like the middle of the universe. And abruptly, with out warning, I’m not sitting at my laptop computer anymore: I’m standing immediately behind the blocks once more. 

Conference championships have a rhythm that by no means actually leaves you. The scent of chlorine hanging heavy within the air and the sound of paper rustling as warmth sheets turn into cheering batons. The managed chaos of prelims and the electrical energy of finals. The approach the minutes earlier than your race really feel like each the longest and shortest moments of your life. 

When I used to be swimming, convention season meant every thing. It was the place the laborious work of early mornings and late nights got here to shine. It was the place teammates grew to become your loved ones and assist system multi function. It was the place exhaustion and perception coexisted in a approach that solely athletes can actually perceive. 

This 12 months, and yearly, watching championships from the surface, I started to really feel those self same emotions, however differently. For a second, I missed all of it so deeply that it virtually harm. I missed the nerves of ready behind the block. I missed the squeeze of my teammates’ fingers giving me one final good-luck want. I missed the sensation of strolling again to the bleachers after a greatest time, understanding you had delivered not only for your self, however in your staff. 

Nostalgia could be sneaky like that. It creeps in and makes you surprise in the event you appreciated the moments sufficient whilst you have been residing in them. It makes you query in the event you would have dealt with conditions otherwise and whether or not you knew then how particular it actually was. As I sat and watched with these emotions, one thing shifted. 

Instead of wishing I might return and relive all of it, I began feeling overwhelmingly grateful that I ever bought to expertise it in any respect. Because not everybody will get to know what it feels prefer to taper for one thing that huge. Not everybody will get to face shoulder to shoulder with their teammates, arms linked, with voices hoarse from cheering. Not everybody will get to race for one thing larger than themselves. 

The ache of lacking it isn’t an indication that one thing is missing within the current. It’s proof that what we skilled was significant. 

It’s simple, particularly in sport, to be hyperfocused on what’s subsequent. The subsequent race. The subsequent meet. The subsequent reduce. Even in “post-swimming life,” there’s a bent to look ahead; to the subsequent job, the subsequent undertaking, the subsequent milestone.

Conference championship season has a approach of inviting us retired swimmers again, and what a present that’s. 

As former athletes, we generally battle with the transition away from competitors. The construction disappears. The nerves fade. The identification shifts. And when championship season rolls round, it might reopen that house and convey again recollections with intense feelings, with out warning. 

But perhaps as an alternative of attempting to disregard the nostalgia, we will reframe it. What if lacking it’s merely proof of how fortunate we have been? Lucky to be pushed past what we thought we might deal with. Lucky to learn to carry out below strain. Lucky to expertise the type of staff unity that almost all workplaces spend years attempting to fabricate. Lucky to “fail” publicly and learn to develop from it. Lucky to succeed and perceive the work it takes to get there. 

When I believe again to my convention championship days, the recollections that floor are not often instances or locations. It’s the bus rides. The inside jokes. The quiet moments within the warm-down pool, leaning on teammates. 

To the athletes who simply completed their last convention meet: let your self really feel no matter comes up. Pride. Relief. Sadness. Gratitude. There is not any proper or improper technique to really feel. 

To the underclassmen already occupied with subsequent 12 months: soak it in. Even the nerves. Even the fatigue. One day you’ll miss these issues too. 

And to the previous swimmer watching from afar, whether or not it’s been one 12 months or twenty, know that the tightness in your chest when the walkout music begins will not be an indication that you just’re caught previously. It’s a reminder that you just have been a part of one thing extraordinary. 

This season, as an alternative of wishing I have been again on deck, I’m selecting to really feel grateful. 

Thankful that I bought to dive in. 

Thankful that I bought to belong. 

Thankful that I’ve skilled one thing value lacking.