My mother will not use her walker even after falling

DEAR ABBY: I moved throughout the nation 9 years in the past to be nearer to my dad and mom as they age. They are actually of their early to mid-80s. My mom has just lately had just a few falls. One was dangerous sufficient that she needed to be taken by ambulance to the ER as a result of she was not in a position to stand. (I believe a few of her falling is because of having a drink or two at a on line casino, which impacts her stability.) 

I’ve been saying for nearly a 12 months that my mom wants a walker. Because it has fallen on deaf ears, I took it upon myself to purchase her a walker and bathe chair. She and Dad are nonetheless satisfied she doesn’t want a walker. Abby, once we obtained to the hospital, she wanted help to make use of the toilet as a result of she couldn’t stand or stroll on her personal after the autumn. 

Today I discovered she and Dad went to a on line casino with out the walker. I’m beside myself! They are both in denial or simply don’t need to hearken to me, however I’m at my wits’ finish as a result of I’m positive this may occur once more. I’m afraid her subsequent fall might lead to damaged bones or worse. Any recommendation? — FEARFUL DAUGHTER IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR DAUGHTER: You could also be making an attempt to cause with the mistaken dad or mum. Assuming they’re each of their proper minds, inform your father that with the historical past of falls your mom has, the results of the subsequent one might be severe. Neither of them is a spring hen. If both one, significantly your mom, had been to interrupt a hip and be bedridden, it may result in pneumonia and demise. If they make mild of it, get their physician to weigh in.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been pals with the “Joneses” for a few years. We historically alternate present baskets. I take pleasure in selecting out treats and objects I feel they’d take pleasure in when assembling their basket. I additionally give them home-baked objects. 

Last 12 months, their basket for us contained a freebie calendar from a charity (we additionally obtained one from the charity; they gifted us one the earlier 12 months as nicely, and I had informed them then that we already had one). There was additionally an amenity bar of cleaning soap from a lodge, a summer season sausage, a small wheel of processed cheese and a 4-inch-by-5-inch print the spouse purchased at an artwork truthful I had attended along with her years earlier than. It appeared like she simply went round her home gathering issues she didn’t need for the basket.

This 12 months, I’m desirous about telling them we might slightly not alternate items because it appears they will’t be bothered. Do you assume I’m being grinchy? — THOUGHT THAT COUNTS? 

DEAR THOUGHT: Your pals could also be experiencing monetary problem. I don’t assume it might be sort or well mannered to inform them “it seems they can’t be bothered.” A greater technique to method it is perhaps to inform the spouse that you simply and your husband are “cutting back on gift-giving this year,” which is why you can be gifting pals a home-baked pie, cake, batch of cookies, and many others., and also you hope they may think about doing the identical. (By the way in which, they already ARE slicing again, which is why you wrote to me!)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.