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He then pointed to the watchdog report that discovered the Pentagon spent tens of millions for iPads, high-end recliners, and even fruit basket stands.
“The government watchdog discovered that he blew billions on things like $5.3 million for new iPads, $60,000 for Herman Miller recliners, and $12,000 for fruit basket stands,” Colbert stated.
“You’re ordering fruit baskets so fancy they come with a stand?” he added. “Come on Pete, if you need fruit at work do the normal thing: put a clementine in your tote and find it three weeks later when it’s a furry, grey golf ball.”
The viewers booed as Colbert continued to rattle off the reported meals prices, noting the Pentagon spent $2 million on crab legs, $6.9 million on lobster tails, and greater than $15 million on rib-eye steaks.
“No, no boo,” Colbert informed the viewers. “They’re just harkening back to our founders. As Paul Revere declared on his famous ride, ‘One if by surf, two if by turf!’”
Colbert went on to say that bills weren’t all “high-class food.”
“They also spent $140,000 on donuts, $124,000 on ice cream machines and $3,160 on stickers with characters from ‘Dora the Explorer,’ ‘Frozen’ and ‘Paw Patrol.’ And despite all that, nobody came to Pete Hegseth’s birthday party,” Colbert joked.
On his Tuesday night show, Kimmel ran by means of a number of the watchdog group’s reported bills earlier than joking, “What is this, ‘My 600-Pound Defense Department?’”
“How are they eating so much food? Can you imagine the size of the egg Sean Hannity would lay if a Democrat had spent millions of dollars on lobster tails and sushi preparation tables? He would never walk again,” Kimmel joked.
“[The Pentagon] racked up a invoice of $12,000 on fruit basket stands, which is so humorous. You know, he’s been going round saying, ‘We’re making the army manly once more, we’re battle fighters! Now, the place is the stand for my basket of fruit?’ Kimmel added.
Alyssa Vega could be reached at alyssa.vega@globe.com.
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