Our son moved again dwelling and is cramping our life-style

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our early 60s. For the final 5 years, we have now been having some nice enjoyable. We gown up, role-play, and invite associates to hitch us sometimes. It has been great and has saved us younger. 

Then certainly one of our grownup youngsters needed to transfer again dwelling. He by no means goes out. His girlfriend comes and stays the weekends. Needless to say, he has put a damper on our enjoyable. We are down within the dumps come Monday once we return to work, so we play once we can.

We have gone to accommodations, however it’s not the identical freedom. My husband says our son is an grownup and we should always do what we might do if he wasn’t dwelling. He can both settle for it or transfer out. Abby, what are your ideas? — EMPTY NESTERS NO MORE

DEAR EMPTY NESTERS NO MORE: It is your house, and try to be free to do no matter you would like in it. You positively must have a dialog together with your son and make plain that there are occasions while you and your husband want “privacy.” If he asks why, inform him the reality. Then counsel that on some weekends, he and his girlfriend keep at her place.

DEAR ABBY: I used to be married for 14 years to my son’s father. During that point, he cheated on me and was speaking to loads of different girls. When I instructed my household we have been divorcing, certainly one of my siblings bought indignant with me, telling me I wanted to do the whole lot I may to make it work. 

People I believed could be there for me not have been. People turned their backs on me, together with fellow church members. Some associates stood by me, although. It damage me a lot. What was as soon as a close-knit household was now torn aside. 

I met a person who lives an hour and a half away from me. He treats me and my son splendidly. I selected to maneuver to the identical city as my boyfriend, however my son didn’t need to go away his sports activities and associates. He instructed me it was OK and that he would simply keep along with his dad. I used to be torn. But then my siblings began working their mouths about me leaving my son, so I modified my thoughts and stayed. My boyfriend was OK with it as a result of he loves my son and needs what’s finest for him. 

My ex and my siblings continually hang around and do issues. My ex is at all times invited to gatherings and occasions, whereas I by no means even get a textual content message asking how issues are going for me. It hurts, and I’ve sunk right into a deep melancholy due to this. Is there one thing I’ve accomplished flawed? — DEPRESSED DIVORCEE IN KENTUCKY

DEAR DIVORCEE: You did NOTHING flawed. It’s clear to me that your loved ones has at all times been extra connected to your untrue ex than to you. I don’t blame you for feeling damage and depressed. That mentioned, nonetheless, I believe you need to transfer to renew your relationship together with your boyfriend. In a brand new city, there might be fewer reminders of this unhappy chapter of your life, and you can also make new associates and construct a brand new life. If your melancholy lingers, counseling will put you heading in the right direction.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069