It’s enjoyable to see the Giants celebrating their wins, however the timing must be higher

The San Francisco Giants are 10 video games below .500. The crew’s on-base share is at present .294, which might be a modern-era worst. They owe roughly a half-billion {dollars} to a few hitters, all of whom have an OPS+ below 100. Their ace and franchise pitcher is on the injured checklist with an ERA over 5.00. Two-thirds of the outfield is on the IL. Former Giants throughout baseball — from Kyle Harrison to Otto López to Kai-Wei Teng to Dominic Smith to James Tibbs III — are thriving, which certain makes you surprise.

It’s been a depressing season to be a Giants fan, with the crew providing a number of the most irritating baseball that’s ever been performed within the majors. They’ll present flashes of getting unstuck, of being the crew they had been purported to be earlier than the season began, solely to tumble proper again into the quicksand. It’s extra of a brackish mud pit, actually, and it smells completely terrible in there. Whoops, they’re caught in there once more.

Considering all the above, the outfielders gotta cease being so damned cute after their weekly win. I don’t make the foundations. I simply learn the room.

An outdated buddy who doesn’t observe baseball reached out to me:

Some of the texts that wake you up at 6 a.m. are texts you’re anticipating. This was not certainly one of them. For the blissfully uninitiated: The Giants had a surprisingly uncomfortable postgame celebration earlier within the month, and so they had been advised to knock it off. Since then, they’ve danced across the matter by recreating completely different components of a very funny, very 12-years-old Key & Peele sketch.

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— Parker Molloy (@parkermolloy.com) May 25, 2026 at 10:41 AM

Stuff like that is, fairly frankly, how I’ve the job that I do. Back after I began writing about baseball, there wasn’t a “stupid baseball” beat for the Giants, so I stuffed it. Since then, the quantity of dumb Giants information I’ve written about might actually fill a number of volumes of leather-bound books. Outfielder-crotch-lasering matches proper in with an extended custom of dudes being dudes whereas sporting the orange and black. Like, say, the time Matt Cain punched Matt Duffy in the genitals at the literal White House.

https://twitter.com/mressnathans/status/606648402080768003?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Baseball has at all times benefited from character, the goofier the higher. This isn’t a contemporary phenomenon, however part of the game since earlier than the times of Dizzy and Daffy Dean. It’s a sport that’s stuffed with rigidity and unwritten guidelines, however often there’s a very large chicken, or a kissing bandit or a backwards batting helmet within the All-Star Game. Even the extraordinarily Marine-coded Matt Williams could get froggy when the temper struck.

The Giants’ outfield postgame celebration has a whole lot of the correct components. The first effort was fully out of nowhere in all the correct methods, even when the execution was … too vigorous to proceed. Nobody workshopped it or focus-grouped it. One of those extraordinarily bizarre dudes mentioned, “Hey, how about this?” and the opposite extraordinarily bizarre dude thought it was a good suggestion, although it wasn’t. That type of mixture is completely how silly baseball magic may be made. The revised celebrations have been tongue-in-cheek and very meta, too, which serves as a particular type of deal with for the hardcore followers. Harrison Bader and Drew Gilbert are licensed ding-dongs, and so they’re not shy about it. It’s enjoyable. You ought to be having enjoyable with all this.

And but. And but. It all goes again to the primary paragraph, recounting the litany of horrors that’s been served to Giants followers this season. Baseball followers love a great ol’ celebration and expression of character, however they’re going to want it to be a facet order for a major course of watchable baseball. Until that major order will get right here, the edges are kinda making me lose my urge for food. So it’s come to this. After all of this, I’ve develop into a scold. A grouchy-bear, old fashioned curmudgeon baseball author, yammering in regards to the children daring to have enjoyable proper in entrance of us. I assume it was at all times my last type.

Except, no, I simply rewatched the Matt Duffy video up there 20 occasions. I’m nonetheless 11 years outdated, and I at all times can be. I believe there ought to be a brand new Morganna the Kissing Bandit, and they need to have a Segway. I nonetheless love dumb baseball stuff, and I proceed to have fun it. So why does this dumb baseball factor depart me chilly?

It’s not like a dropping baseball crew shouldn’t present emotion, in any case. Imagine a procession of dour, joyless faces exchanging company handshakes after a uncommon win. In no manner would that be an enchancment. No, baseball groups get to indicate off their personalities, even in the course of a 100-loss season. They get to placed on somewhat Shrek apron within the dugout after hitting a house run, or what have you ever. They nonetheless get to dump coolers over their teammates through the postgame interview. They nonetheless get to speak to one another in semaphore once they attain second base. It’s a protracted season. Have enjoyable, you foolish bastards.

So what’s it about this celebration particularly that rankles? It broke containment. That’s the dividing line: You can showcase your character. You may be goofy in public and foolish on-line, even once you’re dropping, as long as you’re targeted once you step within the field or on the mound. 

When you begin doing one thing that’s outlandish sufficient to achieve the Facebook aunts and Twitter uncles, although, you’d higher be on a crew that’s providing up a top quality product. Because a few of these individuals are going to say, “Hmm, so how are the Giants doing lately?” and so they’re about to get a nasty shock. There’s no approach to go, “Say, d’ya hear about those wacky 2026 Giants?” in a manner that’s going to make them look higher, as a result of the extra layers of Giants baseball you pull again, the extra you end up saying issues like, “Ew” and “no thanks.” The celebration is a viral advert marketing campaign for a product that can provide you a rash. If they may desk this marketing campaign till Q3, when outlooks may be rosier, that will be simply swell, thanks.

Until then, do you know that the Giants have misplaced 17 video games by 4 runs or extra, which is greater than they misplaced by that margin in the whole 2021 season? If they lose one recreation by 4 runs or extra, they’ll have matched the season complete of the 2010 Giants. They’ll pass a lot of Giants teams by the top of June, on account of them dropping so many video games by 4 runs or extra.

When that type of terrible baseball stops occurring, folks outdoors of our sick little bubble can hear in regards to the Giants and their tomfoolery. If it doesn’t get higher, simply let the hardcore followers stew, alone and aggravated. Coffee is for closers, and viral postgame sketch comedy is for outfielders with an OPS above .650. This crew needs to be so, a lot enjoyable. The followers need them to be. They’re so shut. It’s not going to occur with out wins, although. It’s not going to occur with out wins.