I Introduced Her to a Lifefashion I Can No Longer Keep

The subject of how younger Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of sizzling takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships throughout revenue brackets appear to be in numerous cities.

---

Interested in speaking about how cash strikes in your relationship? If sure, click here.

How lengthy have you ever been along with your associate?

My girlfriend, Roseline, and I’ve been relationship for seven months.

How did you meet?

We met at a home get together and sleepover final yr. I usually keep away from settings like that as a result of I’m an ambivert. While I really like partying and having time, I get sick of it when I’ve to remain for too lengthy. So, I nearly didn’t attend, however the host was a detailed pal I hadn’t frolicked with in endlessly.

At some level through the night time, I bought drained and went to cover within the bar at one nook of the room. That’s the place I met Roseline. I’d seen her within the condo earlier, however we hadn’t stated something to one another. She was the one different individual on the bar, so we began a dialog. 

We talked for hours about the whole lot from music to films, and stayed up after most individuals had crashed. We’d make out, cease to speak some extra after which make out once more. It was an intense connection. So intense that I didn’t even thoughts that she lived in Ibadan. We began relationship nearly instantly after.

I’m screaming. Why did you say Ibadan like that?

I don’t have something towards town. I simply wasn’t the largest fan of long-distance relationships. I’m at all times the primary to discourage anybody who tells me they’ve discovered love with somebody in a special metropolis. 

Maybe it’s as a result of girls have damaged my coronary heart a number of instances, however I believe it’s already tough to handle a relationship with somebody you see day by day, not to mention somebody a number of kilometres away.

However, I utterly forgot my very own no-long-distance-love rule when Roseline got here into the image. I stored telling myself, “Shebi it’s Ibadan here, we’ll run it.”

So, how have you ever guys been “running it”?

In the primary few months, we travelled to see one another each weekend. Roseline did many of the travelling as a result of she runs a web based enterprise and has a extra versatile schedule. Whether I used to be travelling to Ibadan or she was coming to see me, I dealt with all of the bills from transportation to lodging and feeding. 

I share a room-and-parlour condo with a pal, and Roseline is commonly uncomfortable with firm and says she will’t be free round my pal. So, at any time when she visits, we keep in a resort for 2 nights. This additionally applies once I go to Ibadan. She lives along with her sister, so I pay for resorts there too. Then I nonetheless have to contemplate meals and dates, as a result of “we can’t just stay indoors all through.”

Yikes. Sounds such as you spend a tidy quantity on every journey

I spend at the very least ₦150k on every go to. Notice how I stated, “In the first few months” earlier? About 4 months into our relationship, I realised how loopy it was that I used to be spending a lot and decreased the journeys to as soon as a month, which continues to be costly.

I’m truthfully undecided what even possessed me to start out this complete travelling-and-staying-in-hotels enterprise. I believe I used to be within the love-struck section and was desirous to do something to please my babe. Also, across the time we began relationship, I made ₦3m from a consulting gig and felt wealthy. Maybe that’s why I misplaced my senses for a bit and was spending anyhow. 

Hmmm. Where’s that ₦3m now?

Omo. I can’t pinpoint one cheap factor that I used that cash for. After withdrawing ₦700k from it to interchange my iPhone and purchase a number of garments, the cash simply step by step disappeared. 

I do know a piece of it went to funding the Lagos-Ibadan journeys and the “new relationship” excessive. I additionally purchased Roseline a ₦140k wig and despatched her cash a number of instances. I don’t even wish to take into consideration that cash as a result of I used to be extremely silly with it. It was my first million, so to talk, and I assumed it could final endlessly. It didn’t final 4 months.

---

The Naira Life Conference is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come be taught from finance consultants and trade leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about constructing wealth and diversifying your revenue stream in a rustic like Nigeria. Real tales, professional recommendation you may truly use, and a group able to construct wealth collectively. Secure your spot here.

---

You talked about you and Roseline solely see one another as soon as a month now. Did that take some getting used to?

We’re nonetheless getting used to it. Roseline hasn’t been a giant fan of the brand new association. I concern I launched her to a way of life I can not preserve. 

She in some way interprets my reluctance to fund journeys as “not wanting her to come over.” The final two instances she visited, I insisted we keep in my condo with my roommate, and she or he was in a nasty temper the entire time. It was as if I knew she didn’t like a state of affairs, and I used to be forcing her to be in it.

She’s stated she gained’t go to if we don’t keep at a resort. I’m lowkey wonderful with that, however each two to a few days, she’ll be like, “So you aren’t missing me, abi?” 

Does she know the change is due to cash?

I inform her on a regular basis, however I don’t suppose she believes me. I believe she simply assumes I’ve cash someplace, and I’m deciding to not spend it on her. 

If she’s not complaining about us not seeing, she’s complaining that it’s been some time since I gave her cash or purchased her something.

What type of cash conversations do you each have?

We don’t actually discuss cash like that, besides when she’s asking me for it, or I’m telling her I don’t have. Our relationship continues to be in its early levels, so we haven’t gotten to the purpose the place we discuss our revenue and funds but. I truthfully suppose that’s a dialog reserved for individuals who have been collectively for a yr or two. 

I do know not everybody will agree with that, however I believe it’s a bit bizarre to start out asking one another, “What’s your salary?” or “How much does your business bring in monthly?” I believe cash conversations like that ought to occur organically, and we simply haven’t gotten there but.

Now that I give it some thought, I believe not realizing is perhaps the rationale for Roseline’s expectations. I work for a “big” firm, so possibly she thinks I’m making critical cash. It additionally doesn’t assist that I used to be spending like a idiot after we met. Maybe I’ll inform her one in all lately that I solely earn ₦600k. She ought to settle down with the billing.

What do your relationship bills appear to be lately?

It’s very minimal. The final two instances she visited, we solely stayed indoors, watched films and ordered meals. I do know she’ll probably need a extra thrilling date after we see one another once more, however I’m making an attempt to push that ahead as a lot as potential.

Right now, probably the most I do is ship her random ₦10k for knowledge a few times a month, or pay for her Chowdeck order like as soon as every week.

Do you each have monetary security nets?

I save ₦100k month-to-month. Most of that goes to hire, and I depart the remaining in my financial savings app. Right now, I’ve ₦500k in my financial savings, which is loopy provided that I used to be technically a millionaire final yr. 

I do know Roseline additionally makes use of a financial savings app, however I’m undecided how a lot she saves or how a lot she has. I’d say we each are likely to spend first and save later. We wish to have time, so it’s actually exhausting — at the very least for me — to deprive myself simply because I would like to have the ability to say I’ve some cash someplace. But I’ll hold making an attempt my finest to be extra financially accountable.

What’s the perfect monetary future you’d like for you and Roseline?

One the place we each earn sufficient to journey all over the world comfortably with out having to contemplate promoting a kidney.

Interested in speaking about how cash strikes in your relationship? If sure, click here.

*Names have been modified for the sake of anonymity.

---

NEXT READ: I Fear Marrying Her Would Make Me Her Family’s Breadwinner

Get More Zikoko Goodness in Your Mail

Subscribe to our newsletters and by no means miss any of the motion