Dear Abby: My son’s controlling spouse is destroying our household

DEAR ABBY: We helped our eldest son, who’s 35 and an engineer, purchase a home 5 miles from us. A lady his buddy launched him to moved in with him a couple of years later.

Against our recommendation, he married her final 12 months. Her persona has at all times been troublesome, noncollaborative, egocentric and demanding. They now have a child as a result of she satisfied him that solely she may increase a baby for him. Now, she’s going to not enable our son to speak to us, go to or allow us to see the child, saying we give her nervousness. I discover that onerous to consider, as we by no means see her.

I’ve tried speaking to him, however to no avail. She has full management of him now. It’s heartbreaking, and that is destroying the household. He doesn’t attain out to his brother or sister both. What may be executed? — DEVASTATED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DEVASTATED: I’m sorry on your disappointment and disappointment. The fact is, nothing may be executed to vary this sad scenario. Your son has made his selection, and that selection was his controlling spouse. What you are able to do to reduce among the ache is collect your different son and daughter round you and proceed dwelling your lives in as nice and cohesive a vogue as you’ll be able to. Always depart the door open for a reconciliation, however don’t rely on one.

DEAR ABBY: I not too long ago noticed on my daughter’s cellphone that she’s sending nude footage to a “Jameson,” whom she met on-line. She is 29 and has a studying incapacity. She nonetheless lives at house with me and her father. She’s not capable of dwell on her personal due to her incapacity.

I as soon as came upon from a financial institution assertion that she was giving 1000’s of {dollars} to an “admirer” who informed her he wanted cash for his household. After we came upon, she confirmed us texts that he had despatched. He was telling her how stunning she was and that they need to get collectively sooner or later.

I informed my husband concerning the nude images, however he didn’t wish to speak to her about it. He stated we should always respect her privateness. How would you deal with this, Abby? She doesn’t have many buddies, and he or she spends a number of time on her cellphone and laptop computer. I wish to do one thing, however I don’t know the place to begin. — LOST IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR LOST: Start by serving to your daughter assist herself. The Arc of the United States (thearc.org) is a corporation that gives advocacy and schooling for folks with mental and developmental disabilities. On its web site, you will see that hyperlinks to brief programs in digital literacy offered by AT&T. Help your daughter look by these supplies so she understands the risks of the web. The info may assist her see Jameson for who he actually is.

Another useful resource is the National Disability Rights Network (ndrn.org). There you’ll discover consultants who can advise you on all types of disability-related matters. I want you all the most effective as you are taking these necessary steps to guard your daughter.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.