WILKES-BARRE — As the approaching week guarantees to be full of excessive temperatures and sweat-producing humidity, I’m reminded of my love of the seaside.
Well, let’s say I do love the seaside — apart from the sand and saltwater.
Give me a yard or lodge pool with an affordable view of the ocean, and I’m blissful.
I assume it’s true that the older one will get, the much less tolerant you’re of issues like scorching, humid temperatures.
I help that argument as a result of once I was a child, my buddies and I lived for these sunny, scorching days. We would play ball, hike, play video games, after which high it off with a swim earlier than our Little League video games.
Today, all I can say is thank God for air con.
Heat waves appear to be way more insupportable than I keep in mind from my youthful days. I fondly recall heading to the Jersey shore virtually each weekend to frolic within the solar and carouse at evening.
But over time, a couple of unlucky experiences — one specifically — have lessened my degree of affection for the seaside.
That significantly unlucky expertise occurred in Ocean City, Maryland, the place I actually misplaced my love for the seashore without end.
I made a decision to wade into the waves off the purpose on what apparently was a day of relatively excessive turbulence.
Anyway, as George Costanza from “Seinfeld” famously mentioned within the marine biologist episode, “The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.”
After negotiating the waves for a bit, having them slam into me again and again, I acquired used to the ocean once more. Actually, it was enjoyable driving the waves.
And then these waves acquired actually offended — the soup was extra like a chowder.
One wave tossed me like a cork, down into the ocean’s backside. I recovered, however earlier than I may clear my water-filled lungs, one other one — seemingly extra highly effective than a locomotive — slammed me from behind. I went all the way down to the ocean’s ground once more, this time with my head pushed into the sand.
Just once I thought I’d by no means work out which approach was up, I surfaced. I had sand in my bathing swimsuit and seaweed in my mouth. One of my swim sneakers was gone. And I had swallowed approach an excessive amount of saltwater.
As I staggered to the shoreline, two older girls sitting on seaside chairs instantly felt sorry for me. “Awww, look, he lost a shoe,” one mentioned.
At that very second, my lacking shoe washed as much as shore — like the ocean was saying, “Here, take back your shoe. And don’t ever disrespect me again.”
I gathered up the shoe and tried to revive no matter dignity I had left as I looked for my towel. My pals — sure, pals — had witnessed this whole occasion. Some had been within the ocean, others on the seaside, all of them laughing hysterically. None of them realized, or cared, that I had virtually drowned.
I used to be grateful I survived and that I might sometime have the ability to inform this story.
I ignored my still-laughing pals, acquired my towel, dried off, and returned to the lodge, the place I showered and took a nap. When I awoke, there was a pounding in my head — the offended sea had not left me. Some saltwater acquired trapped in my interior ear, and it grew to become contaminated — including to the enjoyment of this journey to the seaside, which, by the best way, started with my good friend’s automotive being struck by an out-of-control automobile pushed by a child who mentioned he couldn’t cease.
I haven’t returned to the ocean since. That’s unhappy as a result of I do have some fond reminiscences of these shore journeys of my youth.
Anybody my age who went to Wildwood within the 60s and 70s remembers Uncle Lou’s — nothing like breakfast at Uncle Lou’s after a day on the seaside and an evening in town. So many nice instances there, assembly pals again residence, or new pals from locations as distant as Montreal.
But I really most well-liked Sandy Beach at Harveys Lake over the Jersey shore. Fresh water over salt water. A half-hour drive over three hours.
Even on the shore, I most well-liked to hang around on the rooftop swimming pool on the motel relatively than on the seaside.
These days, I’d relatively benefit from the nice outside from inside my air-conditioned automotive or via the home windows of my air-conditioned residence.
While I nonetheless really feel my technology — for probably the most half — stays vibrant, there are changes that appear to return on account of getting older. We nonetheless like to bounce, go to live shows, and have a drink or two.
But 90 levels and excessive humidity simply aren’t for me.
So drink a number of water, keep cool, and savor these days of tolerance when circumstances comparable to 90-plus levels with humidity actually didn’t trouble you.
Make positive your air conditioner has been serviced, and rotating followers are operable.
Someday I’ll return to the Jersey shore, however it is going to be for scallops at Mayer’s in Cape May, a go to to the Premier Motel in Wildwood, and a stroll on the boardwalk for salt water taffy.
And a dip and a nap on the rooftop pool.
Reach Bill O’Boyle at 570-991-6118 or on Twitter @TLBillOBoyle.