Dear Annie: I really like journey. My husband loves to remain at house. How will we discover a stability?

Dear Annie: My husband and I’ve been married for 15 years, and we agree on most issues besides how you can spend our free time. I like to journey. Even a protracted weekend in a brand new metropolis makes me really feel excited and alive. I take pleasure in planning the itinerary, attempting native eating places and coming house with tales and recollections. My husband would reasonably keep house, work within the yard, watch a recreation and sleep in his personal mattress.

Whenever I recommend a visit, he instantly begins itemizing the associated fee, the airport delays, the crowds and every part that would go improper. Last yr, I deliberate a four-day journey for our anniversary, and he spent more often than not complaining concerning the lodge mattress and the way a lot every part value. I got here house feeling extra disenchanted than refreshed.

Lately, I’ve began touring with my sister or a detailed good friend, however my husband will get quiet and damage once I go with out him. He says married {couples} ought to wish to expertise issues collectively. I agree, however I additionally don’t suppose I ought to have to surrender one thing that brings me a lot pleasure. At the identical time, when he suggests one other quiet weekend at house, I really feel stressed and trapped.

I really like my husband and benefit from the life we now have constructed, however I’m starting to resent at all times having to decide on between touring with out him and staying house sad. How can two individuals with fully completely different concepts of journey discover a compromise that doesn’t depart both one feeling rejected?

— Packed and Ready

Dear Packed and Ready: Marriage doesn’t require two individuals to share each curiosity. It requires them to respect what brings the opposite individual pleasure.

Plan one or two journeys a yr that go well with you each, maybe someplace enjoyable with fewer crowds and fewer dashing. Then journey along with your sister or mates with out guilt, whereas encouraging your husband to take pleasure in his time at house. Compromise ought to stretch each individuals a little bit, not depart one individual completely caught on the sofa.

It might assist to speak much less concerning the vacation spot and extra about what journey means to every of you. For you, it appears like journey, discovery and making recollections. For him, house might characterize consolation, safety and peace of thoughts. Neither perspective is improper, however understanding the sentiments beneath your preferences could make compromise really feel much less like sacrifice.