Dear Abby: I do not see any level in assembly my daughter’s sister from the identical mister

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been widowed for seven years. My husband served within the Air Force in Saigon through the battle in Vietnam. We met and married shortly after he returned from his hitch abroad. We had two daughters collectively. 

Recently, my older daughter was notified by way of social media that she has a half-sister, “Leiba,” from a girl her father knew in Vietnam. They agreed to satisfy this weekend for lunch at a neighborhood restaurant. 

My daughter requested if I’d accompany her to this assembly. I advised her that whereas I had no qualms about discovering out he had a baby with one other girl, I didn’t see any level in my being there to satisfy her. There is not any connection there for me, and I’d really feel uncomfortable within the scenario. Am I flawed for not going with my daughters to this luncheon? — UNRELATED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR UNRELATED: Although you’re feeling no connection to your late husband’s love baby, Leiba is said to your daughters. If they select to develop a relationship with their half-sister, you can not ignore her existence perpetually. Your daughters could also be asking to your help. If you determine to go, do it for them.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his companion have lived collectively for greater than 10 years. During this time, his companion’s dad and mom and sister have visited my state quite a few instances. They have stayed at my lake home, in my apartment and one other residence I personal. Yet, in all this time, I’ve by no means met them (and I’ve tried to). 

Only as soon as did I obtain a thank-you observe on my mantle at one in all my properties. When they arrive into city, it’s nearly like they intentionally keep away from assembly me. Is this one thing I ought to handle with my son and his companion? At this level, I really feel harm. — USED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR USED: Should you handle this along with your son and his companion? Of course it’s best to. In reality, it’s best to have finished it the primary time you had been requested to let these folks dwell in one in all your dwellings. Do you actually wish to proceed having strangers trip in your properties? Because that’s what they’ve chosen to make themselves, it could be time to roll up the welcome mat.

DEAR ABBY: I’ve a daughter, “Imogen,” who has been married to her narcissistic and controlling spouse, “Brianna,” for 20 years. Imogen’s relationships with me, my husband and her sister have been fully dictated by Brianna. We’re not allowed of their home, her calls are made out of the automobile, I’ve not been invited to birthday events for his or her two boys, and I’m advised to not attend my grandson’s swimming competitions if Brianna is within the constructing.

Two makes an attempt at divorce by Imogen had been unsuccessful, the final one having been a month in the past. Imogen seems to be prepared to simply accept verbal abuse and non-negotiable calls for from her spouse, decoding the management as caring conduct. This cultlike existence has resulted in resentment and disappointment. I’m at a loss as to assist my daughter extricate herself from a lifetime of dysfunction and dependency. Any recommendation could be appreciated. — WORRIED MOM

DEAR MOM: Your daughter is not going to go away Brianna till she’s prepared, however that doesn’t imply it’s best to surrender. Avoid criticizing Brianna immediately however proceed to ask Imogen how Brianna’s controlling actions make her really feel. Getting her to assume alongside these traces could lead her in the best course. Above all, be sure that she is aware of in regards to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, and remind her that controlling conduct is a type of violence.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.