Dating Apps in 2023: A Banner Year with Still Unresolved Mysteries

To address this issue, numerous startups have launched specialized dating applications—some baffling, others completely foreseeable—crafted to meet distinct requirements, with many centered around the promise of AI. Volar, developed by a previous product leader at Snap, employs a chatbot to communicate with prospective daters on your behalf. Additionally, there’s Rizz, Iris, and Elate, all of which utilize AI to assist in discovering your soulmate by aiding users in navigating first encounters and uncomfortable dialogues. For individuals seeking alternative, let’s say, unconventional types of companionship that completely exclude humans from the mix, there are applications like EVA AI and Luna, which function as your AI girlfriend.

It remains premature to ascertain the efficacy of any of these AI-driven apps in reducing the chances of individuals being ghosted; however, a recent report from Hopelab discovered that 40 percent of youth depend on chatbots for ongoing discussions. The future of dating, the report concluded, is expected to be more chatty, and stranger, than ever before.

Nevertheless, the fatigue from swiping right continues to be a significant issue among singles across all demographics. In the dating wilderness, app fatigue spreads like wildfire. No one understands this better than JB, the avid dater from New York I conversed with in September. At that moment, he had gone on 200 dates following a breakup—the majority obtained from Hinge and Raya—and conveyed a sense of exhaustion, even as he struggled to detach himself from its addictive allure.

I heard from JB in December. He contacted me to mention that he had somehow overlooked sharing the “most outrageous” dating tale from our previous discussions. “I can’t believe I only thought of it recently,” he communicated via text. “A girl on our third date saying, ‘If you please me really well tonight I’ll cancel my other dates this week.’”

Did she? I countered.

“I was furious. I almost terminated the date,” he replied. “She was ahead until she hit me with that toxic nonsense.”

JB informed me that he is still weary from the apps but hasn’t ceased using them. The week we spoke, he had just come out of another relationship. A recent romantic endeavor in Philadelphia, he recounted, ended when the woman misrepresented her communications with others. She had taken the initiative on Raya, and they later established a deeper connection exchanging messages on Instagram. She had pursued him, which was uncommon and a refreshing shift. “I was enchanted,” he shares. Which made the end of the relationship all the more painful. “She sought me out, only to deceive about it?”

Currently, JB is on the rebound, or what he describes to me as a phase of “side quests”—caring for his neighbor’s cat, scrolling through TikTok, trying out new eateries. “I was struggling but now I’m okay,” he told me. He ponders whether dating apps will ever provide a solution for singles like himself. “It’s truly awful out here.”