A Particular Customer Leads To A Enjoyable Time At One Of My Shops

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THE SONIC BOOMER

You haven’t heard me BMW (Bitch, Moan & Whine) about my Missouri antiques mall for some time, so I assumed I’d take this chance to catch you up.

Following a letter to the mayor asking her to “do her job” (from me) and the passing of the buck to my native councilman (from her), the vagrancy drawback behind our retailer has been considerably cleaned up. To wit, a bunch of metropolis employees got here and dragged all of the vagrants’ trash and belongings (indistinguishable, one from the opposite) out of the woods and piled them onto the empty car parking zone subsequent door. Inside an hour, a camper pulled up, ostensibly to say the extra “valuable” trash, after which town hauled away the remainder.

So, issues calmed down for my retailer — much less theft, much less drama.

Till final Sunday.

Final Sunday, a lady with turquoise hair got here in and spent 5 hours going by way of each teensy, weensy factor we’ve in there, which is lots. If a jewellery field was marked “$50, includes jewelry” she would inform us the supplier in all probability didn’t know the jewellery was in there after which proceed to separate the gadgets into bowls — bracelets, rings, earrings — earlier than heading off to additionally type out the postcards. Thanks a lot for that.

Her boyfriend — a tall, skinny man whose enamel clearly said “I use meth” — gave up ready for her and informed us, “I’m going to Burger King. But don’t tell her that.”

“Wait a minute,” I stated. “You’re just going away without telling her? Aren’t you her ride?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I guess I’ll be back — sooner or later.”

And he was gone.

By closing time, Factor One had amassed $140 price of trinkets on the counter and wandered off as soon as extra.

“You haven’t been writing those up, have you?” I requested my supervisor.

“I have. Why?”

“There’s no way she has any money,” I stated.

That is the kind of subjective, judgmental, politically incorrect (but 98 p.c statistically correct) assertion one makes use of when one has been in retail for a lot of 1’s life. However no time for convo — the lady was again.

“That will be $140,” my supervisor stated, and that’s when the lady went into her pitch. Seems her plan was to have us radically low cost half the gadgets after which donate the remainder to her as she was placing collectively a fundraiser for “the children.”

“Do you have a letter or brochure or anything about your event?” I requested.

She didn’t, however she had a fair higher plan. We might give her the names, addresses and telephone numbers of our 30-plus antiques sellers, and she or he would contact every one in every of them herself “so they can be included.”

I’m sorry to say we politely declined.

I did provide to carry the gadgets for her till 5 p.m. the subsequent day, so she may get her cash collectively, and she or he graciously agreed to that since she had “$900 in Confederate bills, but the police have been holding it ever since they let me out of jail yesterday.”

That I might imagine.

I believe you know the way this story finally ends up. She didn’t come again; we needed to void all our sellers’ gross sales slips; we needed to unwrap every little thing out of its tissue paper and luggage; and we needed to get every merchandise again to its correct supplier’s sales space. Enjoyable.

Right here’s who did come again — Factor Two, from Burger King. His automobile was stuffed with every little thing she owned, however not her. Someplace alongside the way in which, he’d misplaced her.

And there, however for the grace of God, go I.

Click here to follow Deborah Welky’s Sonic Boomer humor column on Facebook.


This web page was created programmatically, to learn the article in its unique location you’ll be able to go to the hyperlink bellow:
https://gotowncrier.com/2020/10/a-special-visitor-leads-to-a-fun-time-at-one-of-my-stores/
and if you wish to take away this text from our website please contact us

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