The Hidden Truth Behind Parental Favoritism: It’s Real!

Washington — Have you ever questioned whether your parents might secretly favor one child over the others? They just might. According to research published by the American Psychological Association, parents are often more predisposed to bestow the “favorite child accolade” upon daughters and children who are agreeable and diligent.

“For many years, scholars have understood that unequal treatment from parents can lead to enduring consequences for their children,” stated lead author Alexander Jensen, PhD, an associate professor at Brigham Young University. “This study aids in clarifying which kids are more likely to be recipients of favoritism, which can manifest in both positive and negative ways.”

The findings were published in the journal Psychological Bulletin.

The research explored the association between children’s attributes and the variations in parental treatment, taking into account potential moderating variables such as age of the child, gender of the parent, and methods of measurement.

The researchers performed a meta-analysis involving 30 peer-reviewed articles and dissertations/theses, alongside 14 databases, totaling 19,469 participants. They analyzed how factors such as birth order, gender, temperament, and personality characteristics (extraversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism) related to parental favoritism.

Favoritism can manifest in various ways, including how parents engage with their children, the financial resources they allocate to them, and the level of control they maintain, the researchers indicated. They assessed five domains in total: overall treatment, positive interactions, negative interactions, resource distribution, and control.

The researchers initially hypothesized that mothers would prefer daughters while fathers would lean towards sons. Contrary to that assumption, the study revealed that both mothers and fathers displayed a higher tendency to favor daughters.

Among the personality traits examined, children who were conscientious—characterized by responsibility and organization—also seemed to receive preferential treatment. This indicates that parents may find these children more manageable and respond more favorably to them. Jensen expressed surprise that extraversion was not linked to favoritism.

“In American culture, extraversion is particularly esteemed, but within familial contexts, it may be of lesser importance,” he remarked.

Regarding birth order, it was observed that parents often afforded older siblings more freedom, possibly due to their greater maturity, according to Jensen.

The research team also looked into whether parent-child dynamics were affected by additional factors, such as the child’s age, the parent’s gender, or how favoritism was evaluated. They discovered that while these elements might influence parental behaviors, if they did, the impact was minimal, underscoring the complexities of parental favoritism.

Siblings who experience less favoritism often report poorer mental health and more strained familial relationships, as noted by Jensen.

“Understanding these subtleties can assist parents and professionals in recognizing potentially harmful family dynamics,” he stated. “It is vital that all children feel cherished and supported.”

The researchers hope their insights will motivate parents to become more conscious of their biases and endeavor to treat all their offspring equitably.

“It is important to clarify that this research identifies correlations, thus it does not explain why some children are favored by their parents,” Jensen noted. “Nevertheless, it emphasizes areas where parents might need to be more attentive to their interactions with their children.”

“So, the next time you find yourself questioning whether your sibling is the favored one, remember, there may be more occurring beneath the surface than just a preference for the oldest or youngest. It could relate to responsibility, temperament, or simply how easy or challenging you are to manage,” he remarked.

Article: “Parents Favor Daughters: A Meta-Analysis of Gender and Other Predictors of Parental Differential Treatment,” by Alexander Jensen, PhD, Brigham Young University and McKell Jorgensen-Wells, MS, Western University. Psychological Bulletin, published online Jan. 16, 2025.

Alexander Jensen, PhD, can be contacted via email.