Tracy Beckerman: Fearless Squirrel Hunter Runs into Goose Bumps | Houses & Way of life

When we lived within the suburbs, my canine had a squirrel obsession.

He would typically sit by the deck door watching the yard for squirrels like a guard at Buckingham Palace.

Neither sleep nor starvation nor the sound of a killer Roomba approaching would tear him from his submit, except, in fact, he heard the sound of meals by chance dropping on the kitchen ground.

When a squirrel appeared, he would growl menacingly and eventually erupt right into a match of hysterical barking till I let him outdoors to chase the interloper over the fence or up a tree.

I can’t say I used to be sad about that. The squirrels ate my pumpkins and raided my hen feeders, so I used to be not likely a fan.

If Bowie needed to chase the squirrels again to their squirrel lair so they may inform little squirrel tales in regards to the imply squirrel-hating canine in our yard, it was OK by me.

When we left the suburbs, I assumed the squirrel difficulty was resolved. We moved into the town, and there was nary a squirrel to be discovered.

It appeared our bothersome squirrel points could be a factor of the previous.

But then we moved once more, to a spot close to the water, and we found that there was one thing afoul.

Or, extra particularly, a fowl.

In this newest transfer, we had unwittingly traded in squirrels for geese, the scourge of lawns and sidewalks all over the place.

I woke as much as the sound of geese honking. I went to sleep to the sound of geese honking. And after I went outdoors to shoo the honking geese away, I found a minefield of honking goose droppings.

According to a number of geese authorities, the common goose poops each 12 minutes, which interprets to greater than 100 instances a day.

ONE HUNDRED TIMES!

This was considerably horrifying and actually greater than I needed to learn about geese, but it surely no less than defined the minefield outdoors.

When we first moved, the geese weren’t right here. I suppose they’d left for greener pastures.

But about two months later they immediately appeared, and the one member of our household who appeared actually enthusiastic about this … was the canine.

The canine had led a considerably sheltered suburban life and had by no means really met a goose earlier than. So the primary time I took him outdoors to do his enterprise, he didn’t discover them.

But then the geese honked and he immediately perked up like a retriever on a hunt, ready to go accumulate the birds his proprietor shot down.

As my canine is, really, a retriever, this wasn’t a lot of a shock. What occurred subsequent was.

I had totally anticipated the canine would bark his head off and lurch on the geese — which I assumed have been simply massive squirrels with beaks to him — scaring them away from the premises.

But as he took just a few steps ahead and strained on the leash, a bunch of the geese turned and flew at us, paralyzing each the canine and me in terror.

Now, I’ve accomplished battle with wild turkeys, which I had all the time thought have been the scariest birds within the ’burbs. But they don’t maintain a feather to an indignant goose.

Apparently, we had unwittingly trespassed on non-public goose territory, and this isn’t one thing that geese will tolerate.

At first I assumed I’d stand my floor with my devoted retriever by my facet and present the geese who was the hardest hen.

But because the geese flew at us, Bowie yanked the leash out of my palms and ran off to avoid wasting his personal pores and skin. This actually left me with no different choice.

So, I turned and flew the coop.