How travelling domestically helped me overcome solo journey anxiousness

As the aircraft descended into Darwin, I gazed out the window on the harbour far under, my abdomen in knots. 

I used to be terrified. I’d by no means travelled alone earlier than and had no thought of the affect it was about to have on my life.

Even after I moved to Mbantua/Alice Springs for work, I’d had the help of family and friends each step of the best way, providing recommendation and coordinating logistics. The transfer had additionally been a couple of years in the past, and within the meantime, I’d grown accustomed to my life.

I dreamed of visiting new locations, however the unknown sounded scary. 

While mates jetted off to Europe and America, I watched from the sidelines, too afraid to have my very own adventures, trapped by anxiousness.

Eventually, in my 30s, I made a decision I could not let the scenario go on. Seeing a pal’s pictures of a getaway to a tropical paradise was the ultimate straw.

Still afraid, I selected to guide a vacation to Darwin, solely a brief flight away on Larrakia Country. I’d dominated out going abroad, believing it could be an excessive amount of for a primary journey.

Every week from the beginning of my vacation, I virtually cancelled my flights out of sheer panic.

But I did not — and that call opened the door to all that got here subsequent.

The first days of exploring the Top End

When the aircraft landed, I took a deep breath, grabbed my baggage, and organised a taxi to my lodging.

In my lodge, I reviewed the day journeys I’d booked. I discovered the prospect of travelling with strangers a whole bunch of kilometres every day on excursions daunting and did not get a lot sleep that night time.

The subsequent morning, because the coach lurched out of Darwin within the pre-dawn, I attempted to speak myself into enjoyable — simpler mentioned than finished.

I nonetheless had my coronary heart in my mouth as I walked the paths in Kakadu. 

As I checked out rock artwork and listened to the information communicate concerning the flora of the rainforest, dread washed over me as a result of I used to be in a very new place with out my help system. What if one thing went incorrect? 

On one other day once we went swimming at Wangi Falls in Litchfield National Park, I solely dipped my toes in whereas others dunked themselves utterly.

The turning level of my vacation

Unexpectedly, my discomfort did not final perpetually.

About midway by way of the journey, sitting on a ship on the crocodile-infested Mary River, realizing life jackets can be ineffective, I could not ignore the truth that I gave the impression to be coping.

Instead, I used to be chatting to fellow vacationers surrounded by the wildness of nature.

Two days later, when floating down the majestic Nitmiluk (Katherine Gorge) to the track of cicadas, the realisation that I’d completed my dream hit dwelling. I’d risen above my worry and lived past my limitations.

Confidence surged by way of me.

From that second onwards, I loved each minute of my journey. 

When visiting the Tiwi Islands, as an alternative of drawing again with hesitation, I requested questions and took each alternative to be taught concerning the area’s tradition and historical past.

No longer continuously wanting over my shoulder, ready for the worst to occur, I soaked up all the things and centered on having a very good time.

One of my favorite reminiscences is of crusing out on Darwin Harbour to view the foreshore from the water. The contact of ocean breezes over the glittering waves sealed travelling to Darwin and the Top End as probably the greatest experiences I’d ever had.

Normal life felt completely different

When I returned dwelling to Alice Springs, individuals remarked that I appeared extra grounded and confident. 

I sought out quite a few new areas to go to domestically in Central Australia, marvelling on the panorama. I additionally loved swapping journey tales with the scholars on the college the place I taught.

Inspired to proceed travelling, I took alternatives to guide solo journeys to different locations in Australia. 

I’m simply getting began, and eager to see completely different locations and be taught to belief myself much more.

Staying in Australia fits me for now as a result of I wish to see as a lot as I can of my dwelling earlier than I discover additional afield — which I undoubtedly plan on doing at some stage. 

In the meantime, Australia’s uncooked magnificence and variety by no means disappoints.

Visiting Darwin wasn’t only a vacation — it was a catalyst for freedom.

Sonia Morell is a contract author from Sydney who has lived and labored in Alice Springs.

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