Why Zosia Mamet Give up an Emmy-Nominated Present

“I can’t find my scissors so we’re gonna have to use a straight razor.”

It’s six within the morning. I’m sitting in a make-up trailer in downtown LA in a car parking zone subsequent to the river. I’ve landed a recurring function on one of many greatest reveals presently on tv. The type of present that’s a phenomenon, that makes individuals fall in love with TV as a medium yet again. I by no means thought I’d get this job. When I went to the audition I truthfully thought I used to be simply there for fill. So the truth that I’m right here already appears like a mistake.

I’d woken up at 3:00 a.m. as a result of I used to be so frightened of sleeping by way of the alarm I’d set for 4:00 a.m. as a result of my name time was 6:00 a.m. however I needed to get there at 5:30 simply to be secure. They sat me within the hair chair at 5:55, and simply as I sat down, the showrunner’s assistant got here in and started speaking to the pinnacle of the hair division like I wasn’t there. They each checked out my reflection within the mirror as if it have been {a photograph}.

“I didn’t know her hair was that long?” the assistant mentioned. “Me either,” the pinnacle hairdresser mentioned.

My hair had at all times been this lengthy. My hair had by no means not been this lengthy. In my audition, which the showrunner had attended, in all my becoming images, in my complete nineteen years of life that I had lived up till now, my hair had at all times been this lengthy. But they gave the impression to be upset with me inadvertently for not telling them that my hair was this lengthy. It was under my boobs at this level and, as beforehand males‑ tioned, had been ever since they met me.

They continued to stare at me within the mirror because the assistant took a photograph, texted it to somebody, waited for a reply, after which turned to the pinnacle hairdresser and mentioned, “He doesn’t like it. You need to cut a bob and we need her on set in five for a blocking rehearsal, with short hair.”

The blood drained solely from the physique of the hairdresser as if a vampire had tapped her like a keg. And then she snapped to and started to tear the hair and make-up trailer aside looking for her slicing scissors. Three minutes into our 5 minutes, she gave up her search and held up a straight razor. That’s when she advised me she couldn’t discover her scissors and this must do. And then, with out a lot as asking me, she went to work. She grabbed a fistful of my lengthy, thick horse mane of hair and started slicing it Sweeney Todd–fashion. As it fell round me I simply stored considering, Maybe it is a dream, possibly it is a prank, possibly I by no means bought this half in any respect and this complete factor has been a hallucination.

Two minutes later I used to be gazing myself within the mirror with chin‑size hair. The remainder of it sprawled on the bottom round me, lacking its host. I may nonetheless really feel it, virtually like a phantom limb. A manufacturing assistant got here in and whisked me off to set for a blocking rehearsal that I floated by way of. Nobody talked about my hair once more. Nobody talked about the size or the truth that it regarded like anyone had frantically lower it with a straight razor, which that they had.

The first day of capturing was successful, and minus my impromptu haircut, I had a blast. One of the actors on the present was directing for the primary time, and he was completely unbelievable at it. And one thing concerning the vitality of it being his first day at one thing new put me barely comfy about waltzing into this overwhelming, profitable, and established present as a beginner who had simply had a traumatizing 6:00 a.m. haircut with a utensil not meant to chop hair.

I went house on the finish of that day having forgotten solely about how my morning had began till I washed my hair and realized how actually uneven the lower truly was. But it didn’t matter, nothing a trim in an precise salon with precise scissors couldn’t repair.

I did a pair extra episodes of the present that season. And whereas the nerves didn’t solely put on off and there have been nonetheless bumps alongside the street and the opposite actors undoubtedly stored to themselves fairly a bit, it was nonetheless a thrill and I beloved each second of it.

And I at all times bought together with the crew so effectively. It turned out the on‑set props man lived a pair blocks from me in Venice, and we turned buddies and he taught me play the ukulele. The costume designer was an absolute twister of a lady who I got here to adore. Her sincerity in her ridiculousness was one thing I needed I may emulate. When she’d attempt to put me in a pair of pants I used to be satisfied I wouldn’t be capable to breathe in and I’d say, “These aren’t going to fit,” she’d at all times reply with, “If you can zip ’em, they fit.”

And then an excellent factor occurred. They requested me to return again and do extra episodes for the next season. I used to be over the moon — how may I be so fortunate? I confirmed up on set for the primary episode of the brand new season prepared for something. If that they had requested me to buzz my head I’d have been cool with it. If that they had requested me to get bare, I most likely would have achieved it. I used to be able to roll with no matter they threw at me. Or so I assumed.

The present’s creator and showrunner was an intense human. He directed some episodes each season however not all of them. This one was being directed by another person. The showrunner wasn’t at all times round, however when he was, your complete vibe of the set would change, as if a chilly entrance had swept the soundstage. I by no means solely understood why. He was undoubtedly spirited and opinionated, however there’s method worse than that in Hollywood. I had at all times thought there was possibly one thing I used to be lacking.

I used to be appropriate.

We have been doing a blocking rehearsal when he confirmed up on set. The scene was quick and straightforward. I used to be meant to return into the workplace, inform everybody I had images of one thing necessary, take away them from the manila envelope I used to be carrying, and place them on the desk. Then everybody had a couple of extra traces and that was it. So we’re rehearsing, I stroll in, I’m going to take the images out of the envelope, and the showrunner calls “Cut.” Not the director of the episode, the showrunner. And all of us have a look at one another like, Did anyone do one thing mistaken? We all thought the scene was going advantageous.

He will get up out of his chair on the screens and walks towards me slowly, trying on the floor your complete time like he’s making an attempt to determine phrase what he’s about to say. And when he lastly stops proper in entrance of me, he takes a couple of extra beats earlier than he lifts his head, seems to be at me, and says, “What the fuck are you doing?” To which I say, “Um…rehearsing?”

And then he grabs my hand that’s holding the manila envelope and he says, “No! What the fuck are you doing with this! That’s not how you take something out of an envelope! Do it again!”

So we do it once more, and once more, and once more. And each time we get to the a part of the scene the place I’m meant to take the images out of the envelope, he calls “Cut” and he will get up and he yells. Well, first, he begins off simply elevating his voice, which escalates to yelling, which finally mutates into full‑out screaming.

He spews the kitchen sink at me: “You’re doing it wrong!”

“How the fuck can you think that looks right at all?”

“That’s not how anyone would remove anything from an envelope ever!”

“I don’t understand — when I cast you, you knew how to act.” “I’m honestly confused at how you can be so bad at this.” “Did you forget how to act, Mamet?”

“What’s wrong with you?” “Do it again.”

“Do it again.” “DO IT AGAIN.”

Eventually he gave up or bought bored. But this lasted for a couple of half hour. And no one stopped it. Everyone simply stared at their footwear whereas he screamed at me. Eventually we completed the blocking rehearsal and shot the scene. I completed my day. I walked to my automotive and referred to as my brokers and advised them I give up. I used to be speculated to do 4 extra episodes that season, not together with the one I used to be on, however I advised them I didn’t care what they needed to do, I didn’t care if the community sued me, I refused to return on that set for another day than I truly needed to. I don’t keep in mind anything about the remainder of that shoot. I feel I’ve blocked it out.

The present went on to interrupt data for awards and rankings. And it deserved it. It’s an unbelievable piece of tv, and I really feel insanely honored to have been part of it. I really feel happy with the work I did on that present and I wouldn’t take again any of it for a second. It’s all a studying expertise, proper?

I bumped into that showrunner on the Emmys a couple of years later. Both of our reveals have been nominated. He pretended to not know who I used to be. They swept the awards that night time and a part of me resented him for that. But , he hasn’t actually made something since. And typically I take into consideration him sitting in his workplace alone feeling unhappy and indignant and anxious and questioning if everybody’s forgotten him, and for a second it makes me really feel sorry for him, really feel compassion for him, hope that his life isn’t too unhealthy…

But let’s be actual, just for a second.

From DOES THIS MAKE ME FUNNY?, by Zosia Mamet, revealed by Viking Books, an imprint of the Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2025 by Zosia Mamet.