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Ever observed how some individuals simply cannot carry themselves to confess they’re impressed?
You share an achievement you are happy with, present them one thing you have created, or inform them about a chance that is come your manner, and as an alternative of real enthusiasm, you get… one thing else. A lukewarm response that feels oddly defensive.
I’ve been there. When I left my six-figure monetary analyst job to pursue writing, I bought a number of these responses. At first, I believed individuals genuinely weren’t impressed. But over time, I began noticing patterns in what they mentioned—and extra importantly, how they mentioned it.
Here are eight phrases that scream “I’m impressed but don’t want to show it.”
1. “That’s interesting, I guess”
This one’s a basic. The flat tone, the informal dismissal, the added “I guess” that tries so onerous to sound detached.
But this is what’s actually occurring: they’re processing one thing that genuinely caught their consideration.
I bear in mind displaying a former colleague my first revealed article. Her response? “That’s interesting, I guess.” Three months later, she requested me for writing recommendation as a result of she needed to begin her personal weblog.
The “I guess” is the giveaway. Nobody provides qualifiers to issues they genuinely do not care about.
2. “Not bad for a beginner”
Oh, this backhanded praise. It acknowledges talent whereas desperately clinging to superiority.
When individuals really feel threatened by somebody’s skills, they use phrases that technically acknowledge competence whereas defending their very own ego.
A good friend as soon as instructed me my path working occasions have been “not bad for someone who started in their thirties.” Funny factor is, I used to be really beating her private data.
The “for a beginner” or “for someone who…” additions are ego safety, pure and easy.
3. “I’ve seen better”
Have they actually, although? This dismissive phrase typically masks real appreciation.
People who’re secretly impressed typically use dismissive language as a protection mechanism—saying “no” to overtly acknowledging one thing spectacular as a result of it challenges their self-image.
When somebody instantly jumps to “I’ve seen better,” ask your self: why did they really feel the necessity to examine in any respect? Things we do not care about do not set off comparisons.
4. “It’s okay, I suppose”
Another qualifier that tries too onerous.
Nobody says “I suppose” about issues they’re genuinely impartial about. You do not take a look at a random pen and say “It’s okay, I suppose.” You simply… do not remark.
The “I suppose” is doing heavy lifting right here. It’s creating distance between the speaker and their precise emotions.
When I began getting traction with my writing after months of crickets, a former colleague mentioned my rising readership was “okay, I suppose.” She subscribed to my publication the subsequent day.
5. “Some people might find that impressive”
Translation: “I find it impressive but I’m not ‘some people.'”
This phrase is fascinating as a result of it acknowledges the spectacular nature of one thing whereas eradicating themselves from the equation. They’re admitting it is objectively spectacular however cannot bear to incorporate themselves in that evaluation.
I as soon as shared that I’d been sustaining my 5:30 AM writing routine for six months straight. The response? “Some people might find that impressive.” The one that mentioned it? Started asking me for productiveness ideas the next week.
6. “That’s one way to do it”
This phrase pretends to be about methodology, but it surely’s actually about deflection.
When somebody’s genuinely unimpressed with how you have performed one thing, they both provide constructive suggestions or say nothing. “That’s one way to do it” sits on this bizarre center floor the place they cannot fault your outcomes however will not reward your method.
It’s significantly widespread in skilled settings. Show somebody a inventive resolution that labored brilliantly, and in the event that they’re threatened by your innovation, out comes this phrase.
7. “If you’re into that sort of thing”
The final minimizer.
This phrase works time beyond regulation to decrease no matter impressed them by suggesting it is area of interest or bizarre.
Seven years in the past, once I transitioned to veganism, I discussed working my first marathon on a plant-based weight loss plan. The response from a fellow runner? “That’s cool… if you’re into that sort of thing.”
The addition of “if you’re into that sort of thing” is making an attempt to reframe one thing universally spectacular (marathon working) as one thing solely sure individuals would worth.
Final ideas
Why do individuals do that? Usually, it isn’t malicious. It’s human.
We all have moments the place another person’s success triggers our insecurities. Where acknowledging how impressed we’re looks like diminishing ourselves. I’ve caught myself doing it too.
But this is what I’ve realized: recognizing these phrases—whether or not we’re listening to them or saying them—offers us energy. When others use them, we are able to see previous the phrases to the influence we’re really having. When we catch ourselves utilizing them, we are able to pause and select authenticity as an alternative.
Because real appreciation, freely given, does not diminish us. It connects us. And is not that higher than hiding behind “I guess” and “I suppose”?
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