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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve an uncommon, “made-up” first identify. Nowadays it’s widespread for youths to have a uniquely spelled identify, however I’m in my 60s, so it wasn’t widespread rising up.
The method I’ve managed it’s: I right the pronunciation provided that I anticipate to see that individual once more.
This method, I’m not always feeling impolite by correcting everybody. And the subsequent time I see that specific individual, they might not bear in mind precisely the right way to say my identify, however they do know there’s one thing odd there — so that they ask.
GENTLE READER: This is an efficient guideline for dealing with an issue that’s more and more widespread as a result of, as you level out, it has grow to be widespread now to offer infants unusual names.
There are some good causes to do that: household names, cultural references, and the sadly futile try to keep away from what seems to be the fad identify of the 12 months. Some years in the past, at Miss Manners’ personal faculty, a pupil working within the housing bureau amused herself by filling a small dormitory with incoming freshmen named Sara or Sarah.
But Miss Manners has additionally seen the prevalence of names that are, uh, a lot too unique: Weird spellings of in any other case typical names. Brand names. Aristocratic titles as names. Names of objects.
In these instances, originality appears to be the purpose, quite than an affiliation with the identify or an aesthetic.
Prospective mother and father might have enjoyable devising these names, however they need to take into account that they’re burdening their kids with a lifetime of getting to clarify and proper the utilization of their names. It is hurtful to be always misaddressed, and never everybody handles it as gracefully as you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My household is planning a giant vacation get together, to happen at my membership. My son, my daughter and I are every going to ask our buddies.
I belong to a ladies’s membership, and I’ve quite a lot of buddies there, however I have no idea a lot of their husbands. I intend to ask all the husbands whom I do know, simply not those I’ve by no means met.
The per-person value for this get together will likely be excessive, and if I invite all spouses, I might find yourself spending some huge cash on these strangers (to me).
On the opposite hand, I do know that it’s conventional to ask each members of a pair, and plenty of would suppose it odd and even impolite if I excluded their husbands. But I resent having to increase a celebration invitation to folks I have no idea.
If I observe by way of on this plan, will folks get mad at me? Will I harm folks’s emotions? Is it so removed from first rate social norms that I’ll endure backlash?
GENTLE READER: Yes, sure and sure.
Miss Manners is amazed that you’ve any doubt of this. If you had been requested to go away your husband to spend a vacation with buddies who’ve no real interest in assembly him, regardless that different husbands are welcome, would you be delighted?
Well, possibly. But it will be unhappy should you had a complete membership stuffed with wives who felt that method.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, [email protected]; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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