‘I am Not Everything I Want to Be’ Overview: Czech Republic’s Oscar Entry

While sometimes languorous, the 2026 Czech Oscar entry “I’m Not Everything I Want to Be” is among the uncommon documentaries about an artist that goes above and past to embody its topic’s inventive spirit, typically to a fault. Whereas chronicles of its ilk have a tendency to easily understand their topics’ work at a distance, Klára Tasovská’s function, about queer Czech photographer Libuše Jarcovjáková, conscripts her as a co-author by having her learn from her journals all through the Seventies and ‘80s. It additionally makes use of her pictures, not simply as a supply, however as a major medium. The movie consists fully of her decades-old snapshots, and credit her as cinematographer.  

The resultant photoroman (à la Chris Marker’s “La Jetée”) mimics motion by means of successive pictures, and thru the location of every picture on display screen, whereas using delicate foleys to create a soundscape of time and place. As Jarcovjáková travels from the previous Czechoslovakia to Japan and West Berlin, navigating rejection and the lives of assorted lovers, the murmurs of voices, quiet footsteps and hums of crowded rooms accompany her placing black-and-white pictures. Some photographs even develop and unfold, their hidden halves fading-in to disclose new layers and dimensions to the locations and other people she captured a long time prior.

While the film’s English language title speaks to a continuing state of confusion and contrition, its unique title, “Ještě nejsem, kým chci být,” interprets to the intriguing “I’m Not Yet Who I Want to Be” — be aware the “yet” — hinting on the movie being a diary of not simply self-image, however of private and creative course of. Jarcovjáková, who has been dubbed the Nan Goldin of Czechoslovakia, captures stark and intimate photographs, revealing folks by means of overexposed pores and skin simply as a lot as hiding them in shadow. Tasovská’s documentary is analogous on this regard; it strains up simply sufficient pictures and recollections to grant us entry and perception, however not a lot that we’re satiated .

Jarcovjáková makes for a captivating topic, particularly as somebody capturing her personal emotional dissatisfaction by means of the contours of her physique and face. However, owing to the character of her pictures — slivers of time cemented in place, and by no means supposed for movement — there’s solely so lengthy “I’m Not Everything I Want to Be” can go with out feeling outstretched. While every of the pictures, individually, options the suggestion of movement (in some circumstances, ethereal strokes of sunshine uncovered at size), Jarcovjáková’s assortment as a complete isn’t a story in nature, no less than not in the best way we’d consider narratives in cinema.

A gallery of Jarcovjáková’s work would possibly gesture in direction of her bigger story, meant to be contemplated over at a leisurely tempo. But Tasovská’s movie costs ahead breathlessly at breakneck velocity. This isn’t a cardinal sin, however the strategy presents a problem for the film to beat, which it solely manages to in moments of denouement. Its connective tissue, nonetheless, would possibly lose the viewer alongside the best way, because it coheres solely right into a distant political evaluation of the world round its topic, seldom providing us sufficient time to get totally absorbed within the which means of her imagery.

State homophobia is a key concern in Jarcovjáková’s work, and he or she finds consolation by means of commentary, highlighting life in all its hues, albeit behind closed doorways. Tasovská mirrors this inventive intuition in energetic methods, between utilizing strobing results to match the intoxicating chaos of Prague’s queer nightlife (accompanied by a contemporary, techno-infused tracks by DJ GÄP) and by introducing coloration in fleeting moments of liberation. Beyond a degree, Jarcovjáková considers herself a perpetual outsider, extra snug on the margins — whether or not as an outcast in her personal nation (and amongst its Romani populace), or as a visitor in another person’s.

The film builds admirably to those moments, the place the euphoria of fragile belonging is entrance and middle. However, within the interim, one would possibly develop into impatient for Tasovská to show the subsequent nook of Jarcovjáková’s story, leaving little room to ruminate, as a very good pictures exhibition would. The handshake of various creative varieties that the movie makes an attempt is commendable in spirit, and it typically yields exceptional outcomes, even when the entire is seldom satisfying.