How a Chronicle photographer captured the complexities of drug use

Closer Look is a semi-regular collection spotlighting Chronicle images and the tales behind them.

Over the course of a number of months earlier this 12 months, employees photojournalist Gabrielle Lurie hung out documenting the lifetime of Austin Draper, a San Francisco resident who suffers from endocarditis. Endocarditis is a uncommon and lethal coronary heart an infection attributable to injecting medication. Austin has been identified with the situation six instances prior to now 4 years, leading to three open-heart surgical procedures, the position of a pacemaker by age 30 and amputations of all however one in every of his toes — in addition to medical prices over $1 million, principally lined by Medi-Cal. 

Austin can be a deeply inventive particular person with an enormous community of buddies and caretakers. He spoke overtly with Gabrielle and reporter Maggie Angst about wanting to interrupt the cycle of dependancy: “If I can do this, I know that there’s so much more that I can do and contribute to the community,” Austin informed the Chronicle. “I really think I’d be the best version of Austin that has ever existed.” 

I spoke with Gabrielle about making pictures of Austin’s life and the method of engaged on this story.

Before we launch into this scene above in a tub, how did we get right here? Who is Austin and the way did you meet him?

I met Austin whereas reporting a long-form story on a drug rehabilitation heart the place folks looking for assist for dependancy have been dying inside the power. While surveying Sixth Street and talking with individuals who had moved out and in of rehab, I met him. 

I’ll always remember that first encounter. Austin was holding a bicycle, leaning in opposition to a constructing, carrying a leopard-print cardigan and a hand-sewn hat. He smiled at me with a glint in his eye and instantly expressed a need to assist. During our dialog, he was well-spoken and charismatic, speaking at size about his ardour for stitching and aesthetics. It’s uncommon to fulfill somebody so artistically pushed and inventive whereas additionally deeply entrenched in drug use.

I used to be instantly very interested by him. I requested if he’d be keen to seize a chew to eat someday. Later that week, my colleague Maggie and I took him out to breakfast. There, we realized in regards to the deaths of his mother and father, his near-death experiences with endocarditis and his passions for artwork and gardening. While he was clearly a compelling and sophisticated individual, we initially struggled to grasp what his story may turn into.
It wasn’t till we checked in with him a number of months later that we realized he had been hospitalized once more for endocarditis and thought that it will be compelling to share what it is wish to be within the throes of this sickness.

What’s taking place in that bathtub scene? How have been you each feeling on this second?

Austin shared with me that he loves taking baths and that it seems like a ritual to him — a spot the place he feels most relaxed and relaxed. Sometimes the moments we seize as photographers aren’t about folks interacting however about feeling, and I needed to seize his temper. Austin was extraordinarily snug within the tub, although I felt barely uncomfortable as a result of I needed to make certain I wasn’t interrupting one thing private for him. There’s a dance between letting a second unfold and capturing it and ruining a second. You must be very delicate and methodical to not insert your self an excessive amount of and let issues unfold organically.

Another motive I felt the picture was essential was due to the stereotypes surrounding drug customers as being unclean or neglecting their hygiene. Austin frequently took care of himself and felt his finest when he was put collectively. I hoped that displaying this picture would assist break that stereotype in a refined means — to not hit folks over the pinnacle, however to quietly convey that this can be a man who cares for himself.

You’ve been protecting problems with dependancy and the drug epidemic within the metropolis for a very long time. What about Austin’s story stood out to you?

I’ve reported on many tales involving folks scuffling with dependancy, however I had by no means met somebody hooked on fentanyl who was additionally extremely useful and actively pursuing inventive endeavors. Austin, not like many drug customers I had encountered, was housed, had many buddies, stored in contact with household, and seemed out for his neighbors. He challenged most of the stereotypes society locations on individuals who use medication, and that was what drew me to him.

He additionally taught me an excellent deal about his coronary heart situation, which I discovered fascinating from a organic perspective. It was startling that he was nonetheless alive, and I used to be unaware on the time that this illness was affecting a rising quantity of people that use medication.

Austin agreed to have you ever {photograph} some very intimate moments of his life. What was the method like following his story?

At first Austin was a bit shy and considerably guarded. He didn’t thoughts being in pictures himself, however he was so thoughtful of others that he didn’t wish to impose a digital camera on buddies or neighbors. Once he noticed that individuals have been largely snug with my presence, and as we grew to know one another higher, that anxiousness light fully.

He understands and appreciates images. He loves documentaries and was drawn to the concept that I’d be archiving moments of his life. One of the quiet items of spending time with folks and actually attending to know them is the belief that develops. Eventually, we reached a degree the place I may {photograph} virtually something. I at all times requested for permission, however there was a straightforward cadence and circulation to our time collectively.

Was there ever a second or scene that you just felt was too intimate or uncomfortable to {photograph}?

There have been a number of moments that felt too uncomfortable to {photograph}. At instances, I push myself to think about photographing troublesome scenes as a result of it may be onerous to inform whether or not the hesitation comes from my very own discomfort or whether or not a line has actually been crossed. I’m lucky to have the ability to focus on these selections later with my picture editors and clarify what I used to be pondering in these moments.

During one go to to Austin’s condominium, he poured himself a bowl of cereal after which promptly fell asleep, his head plunging into the bowl. It was a second that felt pointless to doc. There are instances when anybody is just not one of the best model of themselves, and my objective is rarely to embarrass somebody. This was a kind of moments.

What sort of ongoing conversations about consent got here up whereas telling this story?

When you spend months with somebody, it turns into clear via repeated conversations that consent is current. There is a false impression that individuals who use medication can not give consent as a result of they’re excessive or not of their proper thoughts. I’d argue in opposition to that. Unless somebody is within the throes of an especially highly effective excessive, individuals who use medication perceive what is going on round them. They could make selections for themselves and are, in most methods, no completely different from anybody else. I by no means wish to strip somebody of their autonomy or converse right down to them.

That mentioned, I imagine it’s important to revisit conversations about consent many times, and to be clear that this work will reside on-line and in an archive. This is a follow I comply with not solely with individuals who use medication, however with everybody I {photograph}.

Every time we hung out with Austin, we mentioned the story and what may or won’t be included. We have been upfront that the photographs have been uncooked and that the story was deeply weak. My colleague Maggie learn him passages to make sure accuracy and to substantiate that he was snug sharing what he did. Without his consent and willingness to allow us to in, there can be no story.

What scenes or moments have caught with you?

One is Austin serving to his buddy and neighbor Brian, who makes use of a wheelchair and has problem getting round. Austin frequently helped him navigate their constructing and ran errands with him round city. I’ll always remember watching how bodily difficult it was for Austin to push the wheelchair — but he by no means complained. He is deeply selfless and constantly exhibits up for his buddies.

Another second that stayed with me occurred after I met Austin just a few blocks from his condominium in a park. He had informed me he can be consuming a snack, however after I arrived, he was asleep — fully handed out on the garden. Hundreds of mosquitoes have been biting his face, but he seemed peaceable. When he lastly awakened, he informed me he’d had probably the greatest naps of his life, that the grass was snug and squishy, and that he loved feeling related to nature. I used to be stunned, however Austin has a means of discovering pleasure in small particulars, one thing I really admire. He at all times finds the silver lining in life.