Elevating succesful teenagers: The key life abilities children want earlier than transferring out of house

So, how will you assist equip your children for residing independently when the day comes?

Why are children much less more likely to be taught sensible abilities at house in 2026?

There are big advantages to spending time educating your youngsters on the best way to dwell on the planet, Maguire tells the Herald.

“I think lots of parents want to be able to do that. But the reality is, they’re busy, they’re tired and they’re probably trying to do things as fast as possible just to get through the day. To survive in this economy and the way the world looks now, many households are dual-income households.

“Alongside that, many families live geographically distant from their own family of origin. So, you’ve got busy families that can be isolated or doing it alone, which means for many parents, you are in ‘get through’ mode or survival mode.”

We might need much less time to show these sensible abilities than earlier generations, however they’re nonetheless essential for our psychological and bodily wellbeing, she says.

“Life skills are critically important for our young people to learn. Not only because it’s valuable for them going forward and out of home, managing [their way] through the world, but when you learn skills, it gives you a sense of mastery,” Maguire says.

“Mastery improves mental health. [If] you feel able in one area in your life, you’re more likely to transfer that mindset to another area of your life, meaning you’ll give things a go or have that feeling of accomplishment, the belief that you can.”

What are the essential abilities children want earlier than leaving house?

As a mum of three daughters, Maguire has her listing of what she desires them to know by the point they’re sufficiently old to fly the nest.

“I want them to have a good sense of themselves and what’s important to them. I want them to be able to understand the realities of adult life – how do you budget? How do you look after your body? What people equal good friends?

She says skill sets around problem-solving, navigating challenges, caring for yourself and having self-awareness around what matters in life are vital.

“When you look at learning theory, from a family unit perspective, you learn by observing what your parents role-model and by joining in. If you’ve got habits that are part of your family, then you’re likely to take those habits through to your own adult life.”

How do you educate your children these life abilities?

When Maguire first moved out of house, she “couldn’t cook anything”, although each her mother and father had been eager cooks.

“But I wasn’t a part of that process. Which means that here you are, at 18 or 19, trying to navigate your way through the world and I didn’t know how to make toast,” she says with amusing.

“So, I think it’s a lovely thing to be able to do, not only preparing your kids to be able to launch into adult life, but also it gives you connection time. In the busy way we’re living, I think connecting through everyday activities gives you bang for your buck in terms of your time.

“I want to be closely connected to my children. I want us to have a time where they can feel like they can talk to me about their day, or we can have enjoyment together. I think you can do that in the everyday. You don’t have to pay to go out to the movies or pay to do an activity.”

Her daughters, who’re 6 and underneath, are “the most happy when they are helping”, she says – whether or not it’s with hanging out the washing, watering the backyard or getting concerned within the cooking.

When ought to youngsters begin taking up these duties?

It could be a problem to keep up that curiosity as soon as children attain adolescence, Maguire notes. But at this age, it’s essential for them to begin practising autonomy.

“I know a lot of families that split cooking nights up. [For] children from about 14 and above, it’s like, ‘Monday’s your night and here’s the recipe, here’s all the food, and I’m available if you need help’.”

She says it’s about offering the autonomy for them to provide it a go themselves, and a constructive expectation that you simply consider they’re able to do it.

“When you look at resilience, mental health and wellbeing research, when you provide a message to young people that you believe that they’re capable, they often rise to the challenge. It’s really important for young people to feel like they’re believed in.”

They could get issues unsuitable, however that’s essential for creating independence.

“[Let them] start to do their own washing when they get to high school and find out what it’s like when you put your colours and your whites together,” she says.

“You won’t know what you enjoy unless you give things a go. So, gardening, cleaning, cooking … some people get some quite good emotional regulation from [those things]. It’s mindful; there is a link between some of those life skills and our mental health.”

This can begin with merely together with your youngsters in a few of these family actions at a younger age.

“My advice is to not overlook connection that’s available in the day to day and the value you can provide your children in passing on very valuable life skills that, as an adult, you might not think twice about,” she says.

Maguire suggests shifting your mindset; as an alternative of viewing this stuff as “boring life admin”, have a look at them as studying alternatives.

“Can you shift that in your mind and use that as a way of connecting with your children and upskilling them, so that you are raising capable, autonomous, resilient adults?

“Can you look for moments on a daily basis where you can encourage them to connect with you? The secondary bonus being that you’re also adding to their skill set kete for life.”

Bethany Reitsma is a life-style author who has been with the NZ Herald since 2019. She specialises in all issues well being and wellbeing and is captivated with telling Kiwis’ real-life tales.