Dear Abby: My son thinks I took his cash and hasn’t spoken to me since

DEAR ABBY: My mom handed away six years in the past. She was a manipulative lady who had alienated all members of the family besides my grownup son. She promised him a large sum of money when she handed, however didn’t observe by. As the fiduciary of my mother and father’ property, I adopted their belief directives as written, with no exceptions. 

My son obtained a pleasant examine, however not as giant as he had anticipated. He was upset and blamed me for “taking” his cash. Then he declared that we might by no means see our grandsons once more except he obtained what his grandmother had promised. He refused to grasp the idea of a trustee’s fiduciary responsibility and has ghosted us, despite the fact that I’ve tried reaching out to him a number of instances. 

Thanks to the generosity of our former daughter-in-law, we do have entry to our grandsons. I’ve lastly come to phrases with my son’s determination to take away himself from the household, which incorporates his brother and sister. He’s an grownup and might make that call for himself. 

It was at all times my intention to someday move what I inherited on to my three youngsters. What I’m combating is that I’m feeling a substantial quantity of guilt as a result of my husband and I’ve excluded this son from any financial distributions from our personal belief due to how he has behaved and his try at blackmail. Am I justified in excluding him? I need to forgive and neglect, however I can’t get previous his actions. — CONFLICTED IN IDAHO

DEAR CONFLICTED: That your son misdirected his anger from his grandmother, the place it belonged, onto you may be very unhappy. Forgive him in your coronary heart, however don’t reward him by altering your property plans. If you haven’t already accomplished so, talk about along with your lawyer leaving your son’s share of your property in belief on your grandsons as a substitute.

DEAR ABBY: I’m married to a verbally and economically abusive alcoholic. His ingesting has grown a lot worse throughout this final yr to the purpose that he can not maintain a job longer than two months. We have three youngsters, and I do know our fixed combating is dangerous for the children. 

Because I haven’t labored in eight years, it has been extraordinarily onerous for me to discover a job. I’ve utilized for a lot of. I need to go away this poisonous marriage, however I’m scared. I don’t understand how. I’ve nowhere to go, no cash, no automobile, no job. What can I do, Abby? I’m so depressing that I can’t stand it. — BREAKING POINT IN THE WEST

DEAR BREAKING POINT: It’s time to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which will be accessed at thehotline.org or by calling toll-free 800-799-7233. Your husband is probably not beating you, however that doesn’t imply you aren’t being abused.

The ambiance you describe isn’t wholesome for you or your youngsters. You can’t save your husband from his habit. Only he can try this when he lastly hits all-time low and decides to hunt assist for his ingesting. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.