My son will not speak to me ever since I supplied his mother-in-law meals

DEAR ABBY: Eighteen months in the past, I used to be staying with my son and his household once they had a get-together together with his spouse, “Corrine’s,” father. His spouse, Corrine’s stepmother, had simply completed chemo for a number of several types of most cancers. When Corrine’s dad went to go away, I supplied to place collectively a small plate for his spouse, hoping it might make her really feel higher. 

When Corrine noticed this from the skin, she got here in and accused me of “giving away family food that her son might want.” They have plenty of cash, and I replied that I simply thought it might be good for the recovering girl, and if Corrine thought she wanted extra meals for her son, I’d be completely happy to get it. 

My son and his spouse have barely spoken to me since. I’ve supplied to satisfy them for counseling and have despatched my grandson little presents each month, which have gone unacknowledged. I noticed them for the primary time final month at a household wedding ceremony. They barely stated a phrase, and my son prevented me. The remainder of the household couldn’t consider how impolite they had been to me. 

I don’t know what else to do. I’ve reached out. I’ve written notes. When I speak with my son on the cellphone, he’s receptive. Then he talks to his spouse, and hastily, nothing is suitable. Please assist. — ESTRANGED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ESTRANGED: Could there be extra behind this than you’ve gotten talked about — maybe damage emotions that drove Corinne over the sting? You have finished all you’ll be able to to make up along with your super-sensitive daughter-in-law (who seems to be uniquely possessive of her meals). Take a step again. Sometimes, issues get higher with time, and that’s what I hope will occur for you.

DEAR ABBY: A 12 months in the past, I bought out of a verbally abusive relationship. Five months later, I met the person of my desires, who had additionally been in a really unhealthy marriage. We are actually good collectively, but when one thing unhealthy occurs, he flies off the deal with and accuses me of being silly and never regular. He additionally threatens to go away me if I don’t change my conduct. This was the identical menace I bought from my ex. I believe that after I get upset about an issue, he thinks I’m his ex-wife. What ought to I do? I like him, however I don’t need to be again in the identical form of relationship as earlier than. — SCARED AND CONFUSED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SCARED: You could not need to be again in the identical form of relationship that you simply had earlier than, nevertheless it seems to be like that’s virtually precisely the place you might be. I don’t blame you for being scared and confused as a result of there’s something incorrect along with your manpicker. You have now been with two emotional abusers. Before involving your self in any extra romantic relationships, it’s necessary that you simply focus on this with a psychologist or different licensed psychological well being skilled who might help you break this sample. If you do, you’ll spare your self years of unhealthy selections and heartache. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.