Dear Abby: Mother disturbed by son’s messy girlfriend and his way of life shift

Dear Abby: Our 23-year-old son, “Ed,” was clean-cut, into understanding and staying wholesome, watched his weight-reduction plan — he even joined a gymnasium and was going each week. Ed has been relationship a lady, “Emily,” who’s the exact opposite. She’s most likely 100 kilos obese. She’s additionally soiled, (when she comes right here, there have been days she doesn’t take a bathe).

Twice I’ve discovered Emily’s lingerie on the ground. Last week, she left a pair of her panties on the lavatory ground. I confirmed Ed and instructed him that was the SECOND time I had discovered her underwear (the primary time I didn’t say something). I mentioned, “You have to talk to Emily and tell her not to leave her underwear laying around.”

I see a change in Ed. My son hasn’t lower his hair in 2 1/2 years and he not seems to be as into understanding. This will not be who we’re as a household. My husband and I are match for our ages (60s) and by all requirements clear and orderly. Should I say something to Ed? I really feel like Emily is altering who he’s.

— NOT THE SAME IN THE EAST

Dear Not The Same: Please cease blaming Emily for the modifications you’ve gotten noticed. Your son is making these modifications himself. Although his girlfriend seems to be ignorant about fundamental hygiene, I’m not positive you’re the mother or father who ought to focus on this with Ed. He may be much less defensive if “the talk” comes from his father, man to man.

I’m unclear in case your son nonetheless lives within the house with you or if he and his girlfriend have a spot of their very own. If it’s the previous, you will surely be inside your rights to level out that you’ve got a hamper for dirty garments and to please use it. If they stay individually, contemplate gifting them one for his or her place.