Dear Abby | Companion’s unhealthy life-style wants an adjustment

DEAR ABBY: I’m in a long-term relationship with an unbelievable man I’ll name “Jerry.” We each have grown youngsters, his dad and mom and household are superb, and all of us get alongside splendidly.

Jerry works arduous as a healthcare skilled. I work as properly, however he helps us financially, for which I’m grateful. He has an autoimmune dysfunction and, sadly, different well being points as a result of, over the many years, he didn’t care for himself. I make wholesome meals, stroll not less than 10 miles per week and take a look at very arduous to not spend an excessive amount of time on the couch.

My downside is: I’m in my mid-50s, energetic and residing with somebody who’s my exact opposite in that manner. I’m going out alone and with my household and buddies to stay lively, however I would like Jerry to get off the sofa and do issues aside from exit for meals. I’ve gently spoken about this with him many instances. Should I simply hold the established order? I like him and wish to hold this relationship going.

— HELPLESS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR HELPLESS: I counsel a two-pronged strategy. The first prong can be to search out out what Jerry’s physician has to say about his sedentary life-style, so maybe one other medical skilled may help you provoke Jerry to change into extra lively. The second prong can be to ensure some strolling is concerned both earlier than or after the 2 of you exit for a meal. It could take some technique in your half, however it will be price a strive.

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DEAR ABBY: We have been taking part in playing cards at my home on a Friday night time. On the best way to creating some extent, I discussed in passing my standing as “the man of the house.” My visiting sister-in-law interrupted and knowledgeable me that it’s 2025 and I’ll NOT be a “man of the house.” I advised her I most actually AM the person of my home, simply as my spouse is the lady of the home, and she or he (my SIL) was out of line attempting to dictate what I’ll and will not name myself underneath my very own roof. She then excused her hateful remark by passing it off as a “joke,” which was completely unacceptable.

An enormous row ensued, and anti-male hate speech spewed from my SIL’s mouth. She spent the following eight minutes telling me what an terrible individual I’m and made clear that as a result of she has finished favors for my spouse and me, it justifies her use of sexist hate speech. I advised her to depart, which she did the next morning, lamely excusing her conduct by saying “she meant no malice.” What does Dear Abby consider this mess?

— MAN OF THE HOUSE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MAN: It seems your sister-in-law touched a nerve when she made that remark, and also you overreacted. What I consider this mess is that you simply each owe one another an apology, and if alcohol performed ANY half in what occurred, it is best to each abstain whereas taking part in playing cards sooner or later.