Asking Eric: Our good friend’s camper life-style has pushed a wedge between us

DEAR ERIC: I grew to become associates with “Sue” about 20 years in the past; our husbands grew to become associates, too. We would normally see one another for Friday night time dinner and drinks.

Eventually they purchased a camper and began going out to their camp each weekend. They welcomed us on the market, and we went just a few instances, however it wasn’t preferrred for us to spend the night time, and it was too far to day-drink and drive dwelling later at night time. We hardly noticed them throughout the summer time months.

When the camp closed for the season, the Friday nights out would resume however included a few of their new camper associates. We weren’t in on their inside jokes, didn’t know the opposite camper folks they’d speak about, or generally they couldn’t meet us as a result of plans with the camper associates.

Now they’ve moved to a brand new campground that stays open year-round, so even within the late fall or early spring they nonetheless go up there. We tried to schedule dinner throughout the week, simply the 4 of us, however the plans didn’t work out as a result of household commitments that Sue had or her husband’s work schedule.

Sue swears that she misses us and needs to see us like we used to. We have been in a position to do dinner possibly two instances final 12 months, and as soon as thus far this 12 months. I’ve given up attempting to schedule one thing as a result of it’s irritating.

Is it time to let go and simply settle for that the friendship has modified and isn’t a precedence for Sue anymore?

– Not Into Camping

DEAR CAMPING: I do know it appears like they selected the camp over you, however from the surface it seems like they made a change in a single space of their lives, and it had an surprising influence in different areas. So, attempt to not take this personally.

It’s true that what we spend our time on displays our priorities, however it’s additionally true that we now have a finite period of time. You made Fridays a precedence at one level in your lives, however that now not works for everybody. Notably, the group dinner with camp associates is one thing that you simply’ve opted out of. That’s completely cheap, however I carry it up solely to say that that is much less a case of 1 couple shifting away from you and extra two {couples} shifting out of sync.

Accept that issues aren’t going to be like they have been however that there’s loads of risk for one thing new. Their schedules received’t at all times be this busy, however you each might must be extra intentional – and provides longer lead instances – so as to keep in one another’s orbits.

(Send inquiries to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and join his weekly publication at rericthomas.com.)

©2025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.