I apologize, Topsfield Fair. I didn’t understand how enjoyable your meals is | Nick Ate It

Dear Topsfield Fair, I apologize for unintentionally being a hater.

Clearly, I used to be not conscious of the good work you have been doing, the cutting-edge technological developments you have been reaching in wacky truthful meals.

I’d all the time thought of you the standard county truthful, the place the must-have merchandise was the straightforward apple crisp. I didn’t understand I might additionally get apple crisp in an egg roll or as an ice cream float.

This yr, as a part of MassLive’s Destinations protection, I made a degree to journey as much as Topsfield and develop my protection of Massachusetts’ festivals, regardless of the doubtless catastrophic results it might have on my well being.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t anticipating an excessive amount of. I had simply escaped the pickle-addled badlands of The Big E. Surely, the Topsfield Fair can be a stroll within the park.

It seems that each one these years, I hadn’t been wanting laborious sufficient.

10 meals I ate on the Topsfield Fair this yr

I arrived on the Topsfield fairgrounds with a free sport plan in thoughts. This was the place that had the nice apple crisp, proper?

I figured I’d begin there – and I did. It simply wasn’t within the kind I used to be anticipating.

1) Iced Apple Crisp Ice Cream Float | From Goodness Shakes

I had no concept what this merchandise really entailed after I ordered it. I simply noticed “Iced Apple Crisp Ice Cream Float” and my thoughts kind of went clean for some time till the cup was in my hand.

It seems that this can be a cup of apple cider withs a few scoops of apple crisp ice cream submerged in it.

It’s novel. It’s sensible. The apple chunks within the ice cream created a wierd texture, positive. But I loved it. More individuals ought to experiment with utilizing completely different drinks as floats.

Status: Full of vigor, however type of heat. It shouldn’t be 82 out in early October!

2) Grape & Peach Oreos | From Petezpop

While meandering across the Fair Trade Center, I stumbled upon a person promoting a wild assortment of sweet and snacks from around the globe.

I believed I’d seen all of the Oreo flavors. But then I noticed a field of Oreos with grapes and a peach on it.

Further analysis revealed that sure, it’s a part of a “Double Fruit” series of cookies in China.

The man on the desk described them as “SweeTarts” Oreos. I figured that was a intelligent manner of describing the tartness of the cookie.

Nope. These style eerily like SweeTarts sweet. It’s actually weird.

Status: Confused. Intimidated by the vastness of our world.

3) Two-Foot-Long Sour Rainbow Licorice | From Ellie’s Licorice

Look at this factor. It’s large. I might use this factor to battle brigands and vagabonds like Indiana Jones.

Also, it tastes good. It’s acquired a pleasing bitter casing and a splendidly mellow candy filling.

Status: Checking my environment for assassins, able to fend them off at a second’s discover, additionally in want of one thing that isn’t sugar.

4) Pot Roast Sundae | From The Lunch Box

I’ve had a savory BBQ sundae earlier than. But a pot roast sundae? This is new. I prefer it.

It’s like an upside-down shepherd’s pie, the place the meat and corn are on prime and the mashed potatoes are on the underside. Plus, having it look a lot like ice cream won’t ever cease being fascinating.

The cherry tomato on prime is a pleasant contact.

Status: Oh no, I’m getting type of full already. I nonetheless have much more to do.

5) Clam Chowder Chompers | Chompers

They did it. The madmen really did it. They found out how you can deep-fry clam chowder.

This is it. State festivals in Massachusetts have peaked. Everyone, go house.

Wait, no. Hold on. These are scrumptious and include a lemon aioli. Everyone, come again and order a few of these.

Status: Seriously, somebody take a few of these so I don’t eat all of them.

6) Deep-Fried Monte Cristo | From Marley’s

I wish to know why I don’t see extra Monte Cristo sandwiches on the earth.

Cuban sandwiches are common. So are Reubens. Where are the courageous souls within the restaurant trade prepared to make turkey/ham sandwiches utilizing French toast as bread?

They’re on the Topsfield Fair, on the Marley’s meals truck, tossing these sandwiches within the deep-fryer as a result of that is America and we refuse to relinquish our proper to make horrible choices.

Status: I’m undoubtedly not getting sleepy as a result of I ate an excessive amount of. Look in any respect the protein that’s on this. It’s mainly good for me.

7) Brown Bread and Baked Beans | From the Congressional Church of Topsfield

You wish to discuss throwback Massachusetts meals? Here it’s: brown bread and baked beans.

When I consider brown bread, I consider the stuff from B&M that is available in a can. However, this can be a pleasant selfmade model that tastes just like the bread model of Raisin Bran.

The beans? They style like baked beans. I don’t know what to inform you. They’re beans.

Status: Full of beans.

8) Fried Ice Cream | From Spud’s

I’d all the time heard of fried ice cream as an idea that exists at state festivals. But I’d by no means seen it.

How did it work? Did it really style good? I sought this reply among the many myriad enigmas that forged their shadows over our fleeting residency on this world.

Oh, look! You can get it at Spud’s for $9! They additionally make blooming onions and one thing referred to as a “Pig Mac.”

In actuality, fried ice cream is just a little wonky. It’s a hunk of deeply frozen ice cream that has the remnants of a cornflake-like shell round it.

It’s not revelatory. But it’s ice cream, which is all the time good to get.

Status: Oh no. When was the final time I drank water? It seems like my ears are mad at me. Is {that a} sunburn, or is my physique about to mutiny?

9) Apple Crisp Egg Roll | From Heart’s Catering Concessions

I swear, there was a degree the place I really meant to get the precise apple crisp that the Topsfield Fair is known for.

But in my protection, I’m the meals journalist equal of a squirrel. I’ve a plan. But I instantly overlook it and abandon it the second I see one thing shiny or filled with sugar.

The apple crisp egg roll appeared like a foolish concept at first. But then I spotted it’s only a spruced-up model of a McDonald’s apple pie – scrumptious.

Status: OK, I’m wiped and full. I’d higher depart earlier than one thing steals my attenti–

10) Apple Pie Donut Ice Cream Cone | From NH Donut Cones

Darn it! I used to be absolutely prepared to go away this truthful in practical situation. But then I noticed a stand the place they make doughnuts into cones, fill them with ice cream and prime them with superior stuff.

This is the best enterprise mannequin I’ve ever seen. If this place isn’t greater than Tesla inside 5 years, then the economic system is really damaged.

This factor is scrumptious. It’s a strong basis of vanilla ice cream that’s topped with caramel, cooked apples and a graham cracker. The actual star is the cone, which is barely crusty on the skin and delightfully fluffy on the within.

I ate extra of this than I ought to have. I remorse nothing.

Status: OK, I simply sat down. I is perhaps regretting some issues.

So, the place did that depart me?

The identical place I used to be in after The Big E, lifeless within the grass after my hedonistic marathon via an asphalt labyrinth of meals vans and livestock.

There’s no higher technique to spend a day within the fall – except you’re going to see the demolition derby race on the final day of the Topsfield Fair on Monday, Oct. 13.