Claire Hooper: ‘People have different forms of therapy. Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age is mine’ | Comedy

The premise of your new standup present, Fun Show xx, is that you’re not a enjoyable individual. What is the least enjoyable factor about you?

The minute my husband leaves the home, I flip the music off. I like silence. For my fortieth birthday my husband, my two infants and I flew to Adelaide and employed a automobile to drive to the Barossa. My husband mentioned, “It’s your birthday, you get to choose the playlist!” and I mentioned, “Just complete silence please.” So we drove in silence for 90 minutes and that’s all I needed.

I’m not searching for life to be extra enjoyable. I simply need much less of the whole lot, thanks. My dream is 5 hours of uninterrupted pondering time.

Which e-book, album or movie do you all the time return to and why?

Queens of the Stone Age’s album Songs for the Deaf. When it got here out, I used to be getting my shit collectively – I used to be not engaged to a man that I wasn’t going to marry and I knew what I needed to do. Nearly 10 years in the past, I did a rage room and so they requested “What do you want to listen to while you smash stuff?” And I mentioned, “Complete silence, please.” Like, I’m not proper. And they went, “I think you should put something on.” So I placed on that album. And I feel I’ve by accident loaded approach an excessive amount of which means on it.

That CD is the one CD in my automobile. So once I do a highway journey, I’ll hearken to nothing, after which I’ll play the primary three tracks on that album and repeat the third observe thrice in a row. And I’ll bawl the entire approach by means of it after which I’ll simply shut it off and drive in silence once more. Other individuals have completely different types of remedy, however this album is the one approach I can entry my feelings in a protected approach. I very not often hearken to the top of the album. Isn’t that mad? I’m actually afraid of this being within the public area.

If you could possibly change the dimensions of any animal to maintain as a pet, what would it not be?

The larger the higher. If something, I feel all canines are too small.

What is probably the most chaotic factor that has ever occurred to you on stage?

Honestly, there’s been some rippers. I as soon as did a company gig for a development firm the place everybody was sitting at spherical tables, which suggests most individuals are usually not dealing with you. It was not a raised stage. The room was L-shaped and subsequent to a loud kitchen, so that they couldn’t hear. There have been balloon centrepieces and a few large pillars, so no one might see. And I additionally obtained launched by them going, “Oh, I hope you do better than the guy we had last time”, which is the most important crimson flag of all.

It was so terrible. I used to be getting paid for 20 minutes, however I used to be so relieved to get off the stage. Then the band kicked off and a few man who labored at this firm thanked me, then grabbed me and made me gradual dance with him for the primary track. To have battled by means of 20 horrendous minutes and be like, lastly I’m free – then be bodily dragged by the hand and made to bounce with him, within the centre of the stage: it was humiliation on prime of humiliation.

What is the strangest factor you’ve executed for love?

My husband [podcaster Wade Duffin] and I obtained engaged 5 weeks after assembly. He’s the love of my life so I don’t really feel like I’ve executed something particularly unusual. But we knew that it will fear family and friends, so we didn’t actually announce it. I really didn’t assume marriage was a factor I used to be going to do – I’d been engaged and referred to as it off like three weeks earlier than the marriage again in my 20s. But inside every week of assembly me, he was like, “I’m going to ask you to marry me one day, but I know it’s too soon.” I used to be like, “Fine!” Five weeks went and he mentioned, “Is it still too soon?” And I mentioned, “Nah!” It was very unromantic, but in addition extremely romantic. We obtained married in 2008 and we’ve been collectively ever since.

Do you’ve got a nemesis?

No!

That was undoubtedly the face of a lady that has a nemesis.

Well, how do you outline nemesis? There is an individual who I don’t want nicely. If they enter the room, I feel, is there a solution to get out of this room?

That’s tantalising. Who is probably the most underrated comic?

Bronwyn Kuss is an absolute genius at comedy, however she has no less than acquired vital acclaim – so are you able to say she’s underrated? I really feel she ought to be touring in large venues and everybody ought to know her identify. But no less than she has obtained the awards and the evaluations.

This virtually appears like a controversial name, however Pete Helliar is a superb instance of somebody who different comedians overlook is definitely actually good at comedy. I do it! But he’s good {and professional} and he has extremely good comedy instincts. His exhibits are actually humorous.

What has been your most cringeworthy run-in with a well-known individual?

Oh, shit, this one was terrible. When I used to be working in business radio, they’d ship me alongside to a press launch to ask a query and get an excellent radio seize. Anyway: Shane Warne didn’t like me. He had designed a Matchbox toy automobile and there was a press convention for it and I can’t bear in mind what my precise query was, but it surely was basically, “Is it true that when men design cars, they’re modelling them on something else?” I couldn’t consider how little he needed any a part of that query. I sat again down and went, “Wow, he doesn’t like having a joke with a comedian.” Like, I need my Matchbox automobile taken critically, how dare you!

If you had a sandwich named after you, what could be in it?

It could be a flour tortilla with crunchy peanut butter rolled up in it like a swiss roll. I do know that’s not a sandwich, however that’s what I eat and no one else I’ve ever met does that. I actually take pleasure in crunch within the doughiness. I like that it’s not messy and you may eat it when you’re driving. I’m all about effectivity. It is extraordinarily calorie dense. But in case you are too busy for a meal, it gives you power that can get you to the top of your evening and you may eat greens tomorrow.

Where is the weirdest place you’ve been recognised?

I used to be getting a colonoscopy a number of years in the past. So I turned into the gown and little socks and walked into the surgical procedure and the nurse – and I’m gonna name-check her – Narelle went, “Oh! I’ve been watching you on The Great Australian Bake Off!” And I swear that is true, since you by no means say the precise factor in these moments, however I replied, “Get ready for a very different viewing experience, Narelle.”

• Claire Hooper’s Fun Show xx is touring Melbourne worldwide comedy pageant 26 March – 19 April, Sydney comedy pageant 9–10 May and Brisbane comedy pageant 14–17 May.