Dear Abby: The presidential election has strained my relationship with my daughter

DEAR ABBY: After the final presidential election, my daughter, “Cindy,” whom I really like with all my coronary heart, turned in opposition to me.

Cindy began rebelling when she was a teen. Our relationship was rocky for a while, however I by no means stopped loving her. Once she matured, our relationship turned a lot better, so I used to be shocked when she turned on me in such a vicious manner. 

She started making up tales about how I had abused her as a baby — absolute lies. She additionally started sending me nasty textual content messages, calling me names due to my political opinions and telling me she not desires a relationship with me. I don’t care what her political opinions are. I might by no means be so merciless to her.

It has been a yr and a half since we’ve got had any contact. I’ve tried writing her letters, which I assume she is throwing within the rubbish with out studying. I can’t name her as a result of she blocked my quantity, and he or she has additionally blocked me on all social media. I want recommendation about easy methods to transfer ahead. — GOOD MOM IN THE SOUTH

DEAR GOOD MOM: Cindy wants a while to chill off, so the most effective you are able to do now could be give that to her. Stop writing to her, and don’t ask anybody to contact her in your behalf. Also, please assume twice earlier than repeating to family and friends what you’ve informed me. If Cindy learns that you simply’ve been describing your self as an ideal mom and her as a hateful ingrate, you might by no means hear from her once more.

Take this time to work on your self. Even in case you did every little thing proper as a mother, you didn’t learn to join with a baby whose values are completely different from yours. A licensed therapist could possibly provide help to with that and should even shed some mild on Cindy’s causes for slicing ties with you. You could not agree together with her causes, however belief that they’re essential to her.

DEAR ABBY: My aunt and uncle, who’re each of their mid-to-late 50s, dwell with my grandmother, who’s in her early 80s. They are hoarders and have taken over half of my grandmother’s home. They got here to dwell together with her for the summer season eight years in the past and continually trigger strife for my father. They take issues with out permission and are actually babysitting my cousin’s daughter nearly every single day. 

My aunt is definitely offended and deflects any criticism, whereas my dad avoids confrontation at any price. Should I do one thing, or is it not my place to get entangled? — LOOKING ON IN WISCONSIN

DEAR LOOKING ON: Nowhere in your letter did you point out that your father has any critical objections to what’s happening together with his mom and these family members. Before involving your self by making an attempt to run interference for him, ask him if there’s something he desires you to do. Because he’s averse to confrontation, he could want you keep out of it. However, in case you are involved about your cousin’s daughter being taken care of in a house that has been taken over by hoarders, you must focus on it together with your cousin. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.