Dear Abby: My husband and daughter assault me, and I stay in complete dysfunction

DEAR ABBY: I’m dwelling in complete dysfunction with my daughter (32) and husband (75). I’m retired and happening 76. My daughter is not going to work and is controlling my life. She has OCD and refuses medicine. It’s so dangerous that she has grow to be utterly depending on me. She makes me drive her and yells at me whereas I do. If she doesn’t get her approach, she yells and calls me horrible names. The police have been referred to as to the home previously, however it solely made issues worse for me. 

She has been accepted to a school with a partial scholarship for her second grasp’s diploma and desires me to fund her housing. Her father, who can be verbally abusive, leaves dwelling earlier than she will get up and comes dwelling round 8. He then sits within the driveway to keep away from her. I’ve been deserted to cope with her. 

Abby, I taught college for 40 years, raised three youngsters and did all of the work round right here whereas he labored a comfortable job for his dad and mom. I additionally discovered on his telephone that he has a girlfriend. I’m so upset dwelling with him that I need out of this home and away from him.

I daydream of getting my very own condominium and dwelling alone. If I file for divorce, my husband will go after my pension. He has no retirement financial savings and nonetheless works. What can I do? — UGLY SITUATION

DEAR SITUATION: Talk to a lawyer! Have you accomplished so? Your assumption that your pension isn’t protected is probably not true, and legal professional could possibly assist shield it.

Additionally, I urge you to name the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 immediately. Even although nobody has been bodily violent, you might be nonetheless a sufferer of emotional (and presumably monetary) abuse. No one ought to must stay below the situations you’ve described.

DEAR ABBY: I just lately discovered that the state eliminated all of my good good friend’s youngsters and positioned them into protecting custody. I bought this info from a neighborhood information web site I used to be looking at some point. She is being charged with a number of felony counts of kid neglect. I knew she didn’t have custody of her youngsters previous to discovering the article, however she by no means talked about to me what was actually happening. This lady has been like a sister to me for years. 

I’m torn about learn how to really feel. I’ve but to inform her I do know the true scenario. We haven’t spoken since I discovered. Do I attain out and ask for her facet of issues? The article laid out that the neglect had been occurring for years. I really feel terrible that I by no means knew how dangerous it really was for her youngsters. Part of me needs to ask what’s going on; one other half needs to disconnect from her endlessly. — MAY NEVER KNOW THE TRUTH

DEAR MAY: What have you ever to achieve by contacting this lady and telling her you understand the scenario? The story has been all around the media, and she or he possible assumes that everybody is aware of about it. If, in gentle of your lengthy relationship, you’re feeling you wish to be supportive, then attain out to her. However, when you’re merely curious, then take heed to your intestine and step out of the image.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.