Marky Kauffmann and Louise Kauffmann: We Were Children

©Marky Kauffmann, The sixth Butterfly

Today, we give over the submit to artist Marky Kauffmann to share a private and devastating expertise 0f childhood sexual abuse. In holding with the angle of Gisèle Pelicot, you will need to take into account her phrases, “I hope to convey a message of strength and courage to all those who are subjected to difficult ordeals. May they never feel shame. Shame must change sides.”  Thank you Marky, on your braveness and truthfully. Please remember, this topic may be triggering. 

Yesterday, August 9^th, was Virginia Guiffre’s birthday. If she had been alive immediately, she would have turned 43 years outdated.

At the start of Donald Trump’s second time period, the Epstein recordsdata started to dominate the information cycle. The new president had promised, throughout his marketing campaign, to launch all the recordsdata to the American public. But that instant launch by no means transpired. In November 2025, mounting stress by the general public and the US Congress resulted within the passage of the Epstein Transparency Act, which Trump reluctantly signed into legislation. In December, some recordsdata had been launched, however they had been closely redacted, and various victims’ names had been left unredacted – seen for all to see.

Virginia Guiffre, probably the most outspoken Epstein survivor, died in April of 2025, however her memoir – her story – Nobody’s Girl, was launched that October. In the e book, she writes about SOAR  (Speak Out, Act, Reclaim), the non-profit group she based, whose mission is to advocate for youngsters and adults who’ve been sexually abused.  SOAR makes use of the butterfly as a logo of empowerment, and of transformation from sufferer to survivor.

Virginia Guiffre was sixteen when she was first abused by Epstein and trafficked to others.  According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, a sixteen yr outdated is a toddler. And within the majority of states within the US, one turns into a authorized grownup on the age of eighteen.

I, too, am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, as is my sister, Louise. When we had been youngsters, our stepfather sexually molested us. He would come into our bed room late at evening, crawling on his fingers and knees, with a flashlight. He would begin with my sister, after which end with me.

Part of our story is that, after we lastly recounted what occurred to us, our mom despatched us to a psychiatrist to research the credibility of our story. That physician didn’t consider us. He believed that we made it up. So, in that sense as properly, our story shares a well-recognized sample with the Epstein survivors. Disbelief… No one believed them. No one believed us…

For the We Were Children challenge, I’m on a mission to make at the very least one thousand chemigram butterflies for all the Epstein survivors. Each of my butterflies is exclusive, as had been the kids – people who suffered terribly for too lengthy. To create every butterfly, I take advantage of black and white gelatin silver paper, butterflies – minimize from paper or fabric – and two chemical bleaches. I typically add colour with bleeding tissue paper.

The We Were Children challenge will take time. But I’ll end it to honor the survivors. And I stand eternally grateful to Virginia Roberts Guiffre for her outspoken protection of the victims of sexual abuse, and for her fierce braveness within the face of unspeakable crimes perpetrated by the rich and the highly effective.

A dialog between Marky and Louise follows after which, a dialog with Aline and Marky concludes.

©Marky Kauffmann, The eighth Butterfly

Conversation with my sister, Louise Kauffmann:

How outdated do you suppose we had been when the abuse started?

MK – I believe I used to be 11, in 6^th grade at Loudonville School. And you had been in 7^th grade at Girls Academy. I bear in mind one morning earlier than faculty, you wakened sobbing. He had “visited” us the evening earlier than. I bear in mind feeling so unhappy that we needed to go off alone – every to a separate faculty.

LK –Yes, I believe I used to be 12. I’ve all the time thought I used to be 14 when it stopped. I bear in mind pondering that we had been too outdated – not sexually interesting to him, or smarter and fewer afraid to spilled the beans.

©Marky Kaufffmann, The 52nd Butterfly

How typically did he come into our room?

MK – I do not know. More instances than I care to recollect.

LK – Yes, identical right here. More instances than I care to consider.

What did we learn about intercourse on the time?

MK – I actually didn’t know something!!! But I knew it was “dirty.”

LK – I’m sure I knew completely nothing, not solely about intercourse, however about my very own physique. I knew it was flawed, however I most likely didn’t suppose it was “dirty.” I’m positive I didn’t suppose in these phrases.

©Marky Kauffmann, The 54th Butterfly

During the time of the abuse, did you and I ever discuss what occurred throughout these episodes?

MK – I don’t suppose so. Not on the time. I bear in mind when he was at your mattress; I’d cough so he would know I used to be awake. Or I’d toss and switch. But it didn’t cease him from leaving your mattress, or from coming to mine. I believe my biggest second of concern was once I heard the door open and noticed the sunshine from his flashlight.

LK- No, not that I can recall. My clearest recollections had been of him simply showing subsequent to my mattress and me completely freezing. Going utterly nonetheless, mendacity on my again. I don’t bear in mind you coughing or making any sounds in any way. It felt like one thing I needed to endure, and so I did.

©Marky Kauffmann, The eightieth Butterfly

When you had been in faculty, you lastly informed our father. Why?

LK – I do not know why I lastly informed Dad. Maybe simply to get his consideration. Of course, Mom was livid and refused to consider me.

We by no means informed anybody for years. Why?

MK – I believe we knew that if we informed, all hell would break unfastened. We had already relocated from D.C. to Albany, when Mom received married to Dave. That was laborious sufficient. Would we have now to try this once more? Move once more? Where would we go? I used to be frightened of all of these prospects. Perhaps that’s why we by no means actually talked about it – that even speaking to one another would open up Pandora’s field. But, wow, what a burden on two younger ladies…

LK – The solely reply I can give you is that we knew it could utterly break our household. It was a damaged household already due to our father or mother’s divorce, however the items had been nonetheless by some means related. Once we revealed what occurred, nobody would ever get better.

MK – I typically take into consideration how terrified the Epstein victims should have been. How lots of them didn’t say a phrase as a result of the telling of their tales would open them as much as judgment, blame and attainable hazard? And those that had been courageous sufficient to recount what occurred to them? They had been ignored, or informed they had been liars.

©Marky Kauffmann, The 86th Butterfly

A dialog between Aline Smithson and Markey Kauffmann follows:

Aline Smithson: What received you began on this challenge at this second in time?

Markey Kauffmann: The Epstein/Maxwell story actually caught my consideration in 2025, when Maxwell received moved to a minimum-security jail. It was apparent to me that the transfer was a bribe, and that she had one thing on Trump. Of course, I knew Trump had been accused of egregious sexual assault, and even admitted to it on the Access Hollywood tape, however now we’re speaking youngsters…and my blood started to boil. I made my first butterfly in October 2025.

Has the artwork making helped you course of your historical past?

Absolutely. I’m making one thing lovely from one thing ugly.

©Marky Kauffmann, The 111th Butterfly

The butterfly is a strong image all through this challenge. How did you arrive at utilizing the chemigram butterfly as each a private and political type of remembrance?

People will discover this tough to consider, however I began making the butterflies earlier than I even knew that Virginia Guiffre had considered it. For me, it was the butterfly’s childlike fragility, innocence and sweetness that I used to be drawn to. What Guiffre wished to name consideration to was the change from caterpillar to butterfly. For her, that metamorphosis symbolized the transformation from sufferer to survivor.

©Marky Kauffmann, The 113th Butterfly

You describe creating one thousand distinctive butterflies, one for every survivor. What does the repetitive, labor-intensive act of constructing turn into for you emotionally and psychologically? Is it memorial, protest, healing-or all the above?

I had and proceed to have guilt and disgrace about what occurred. I couldn’t cease what was taking place to my sister. And my sister, I’m positive, feels the identical method. She couldn’t cease what was taking place to me. So, for me, the making of those butterflies is primarily about therapeutic. And sure, the character of this work mirrors the character of the therapeutic course of. The work of therapeutic takes time and may be exhausting. But the butterflies are additionally a protest. Many of the Epstein survivors had been youngsters! How is it that the one particular person in jail is Maxwell? Where is the accountability? Now that we have now details about what occurred to these ladies, why aren’t these perpetrators in jail?

Chemigrams embrace unpredictability by way of the interplay of photographic paper and chemistry. How does that unpredictability parallel the complexities of trauma, reminiscence and survival?

What an attention-grabbing query! Chance performs a giant half within the making of chemigrams. I actually by no means understand how a specific butterfly will come out. When I pull the butterfly form off of the silver paper, will the end result be attractive, or a whole mess? There had been parts of probability in our abuse scenario, as properly. Will he are available tonight? Will I ever really feel protected in my very own mattress once more? And, on a extra profound scale, will this abuse be found, and in that case, will our household be torn aside as soon as once more?

©Marky Kauffmann, The one hundred and twentieth Butterfly

The title “We Were Children” is each easy and profound. What conversations are you hoping that title initiates earlier than viewers even encounter the work itself?

Perhaps, within the period of Epstein, viewers may need an concept of what that is about earlier than they encounter the work. And perhaps I ought to have used the phrase “kids.” But, for me, the phrase “children” is synonymous with the phrase innocence. And that’s what that is about – the stealing of innocence. There is a scene within the movie “Spotlight” the place actor Mark Ruffalo screams at his editor, Robby Robinson, “They knew, and they let it happen to kids!” It’s probably the most shifting moments in cinematic historical past. I believe the sexual abuse of youngsters – by stepfathers, monks or billionaires – is an atrocity.

©Marky Kaufffmann, The 121st Butterfly

After spending a lot time immersed on this challenge, has your understanding of resilience or therapeutic modified? Has making this work remodeled you in sudden methods?

The time concerned in making the butterflies can be in depth. That’s a great factor. There aren’t any fast fixes right here. What I nonetheless discover laborious on this therapeutic course of is getting over the disgrace. Why ought to victims really feel ashamed? Why have we hidden these tales for thus a few years? I proceed to grapple with these questions.

Thank you, Aline, for serving to to share this work and our story.

©Marky Kauffmann, The 149th Butterfly

And lastly, Is your mom nonetheless alive, and in that case, what’s your relationship immediately? Did she ever change her pondering?

No, she died in 1993. In time, she got here to grasp that we had been telling the reality. I cherished my mom an incredible deal. She was married to my stepfather at a time when so many ladies had been trapped in dangerous marriages. They had no entry to bank cards, no job prospects, no potential to purchase a house. It should have been horrible. She and my stepfather received divorced quickly after all the pieces got here out, and she or he moved again house to D.C. to start out a brand new life.

©Marky Kauffmann, The 153rd Butterfly

©Marky Kauffmann, The one hundred and seventieth Butterfly

©Marky Kauffmann, The 171st Butterfly

©Marky Kauffmann, The 178st Butterfly

Marky Kauffmann is a advantageous artwork photographer based mostly in Somerville, MA. She has received many awards, together with a Massachusetts Creative Individual Grant in 2026, and a Massachusetts Cultural Council Artist Fellowship in 2017.  In 2025, she received the Griffin Museum Lens Award, and 1^st Place within the Digital/Collage class of the 26^th Julia Margaret Cameron Awards. In 2024, she received a Silver Prize within the Analog Sparks Film Awards, and in 2023, she was the winner of the Julia Margaret Cameron Awards Alternative Processes class. Kauffmann was a Critical Mass Top 200 Photographer in 2016 and 2017.

Kauffmann is a passionate educator who taught pictures on the secondary stage. She additionally spent 20 years educating adults on the New England School of Photography of their Evening Workshop Program.  Currently she teaches at Milton Academy’s Saturday Course.

Kauffmann has curated a number of reveals together with “Beyond Mothers and Children: New Feminist Photographers,” “Outspoken: Seven Women Photographers” and “Moved To Act! Demonstrations, Marches, Political Actions.”

 Kauffmann served on the Griffin Museum of Photography’s Board of Directors for 9 years as a Corporator, and at present serves as their Secondary School Educational Councilor.

Kauffmann makes use of conventional darkroom strategies, various processes and digital enhancing to create her distinctive photos.

Instagram: @marky.ek

Louise Kauffmann is a graduate of Mount Vernon College. She labored for a few years because the Director of Housing and Community Development for town of Gaithersburg, Maryland, securing housing for low-income folks.  She additionally spent 8 years as a volunteer rape counselor at hospitals in her neighborhood. In latest years, she has volunteered to assist assist most cancers sufferers, making house visits and aiding them in managing their well being care providers.  Kauffmann is an avid gardener and hiker.