Dear Abby: My neighbor says being homosexual is a sin because it has posed a household battle

DEAR ABBY: My next-door neighbors are appropriately pleasant, mow their garden and usually thoughts their very own enterprise. The husband is a frontrunner in a fundamentalist church whose pastor preaches that being homosexual is a sin and transgender persons are mentally unwell. My spouse and I are lesbians, and our center little one is transgender. This is clear to anybody who has met us.

Our third little one is identical age because the neighbors’ daughter, they usually play exterior generally. Her mother has began asking if my daughter can come over to their home. I’m on the lookout for a sort technique to let her know that playdates usually are not an choice. I respect their household’s proper to have values completely different from mine, however I don’t suppose it’s emotionally protected for my child to be over there. Similarly, my home is simply too queer-friendly for me to really feel snug internet hosting a conservative neighbor’s child right here. How do I give a blanket “no” to visits whereas remaining cordial neighbors? — THE LESBIAN NEXT DOOR

DEAR LESBIAN NEXT DOOR: I get the impression you and your neighbors are well mannered however not shut, so there’s your purpose: Tell her you aren’t snug letting your daughter spend time inside the house of somebody you don’t know nicely.

To enhance this relationship, invite them over for dinner, maybe an off-the-cuff outside barbecue. If it seems your two households are as incompatible as you observed, your daughter will cease receiving playdate invites.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Dirk,” and I are in our late 50s. We each are divorced, and we every have a single little one over the age of 18. Every time Dirk and I’m going out for a pleasant dinner date, he both orders a meal “to go” to carry residence for his son or purposely eats solely half his dinner and brings the remainder residence for him. I’ve instructed Dirk that is impolite. It spoils the temper of getting an intimate grownup date. His son is sufficiently old to determine easy methods to feed himself.

The downside is, Dirk received’t cease doing this, and it’s been happening for years. It took two years to lastly get Dirk to cease bringing his son with us if we went on errands collectively. I really feel suffocated and like I’m courting two somewhat than one in that family. Dirk chooses to blur boundaries and all the time pulls the “single dad, raising him on my own” card, an excuse I’ve by no means needed to make. I imagine it applies to minor youngsters, not adults, and coddling to this excessive is ridiculous.

Am I being too harsh? My son is self-sufficient. He has a wholesome social life and retains wholesome boundaries relating to my love life. I’ve talked myself hoarse being trustworthy with Dirk about all of this, but it surely by no means modifications, and these dynamics maintain me from advancing my dedication to Dirk. He begs me to maneuver in, however I feel after one week, I’d be at my wits’ finish. Should I pull the plug altogether and transfer on? — DATING TWO IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DATING: I feel that except you’d wish to turn into a household of three dwelling beneath Dirk’s roof, it is advisable do precisely that. Feeling as you do about Dirk’s son, the connection could be doomed from the second you unpacked your luggage.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For almost 4 a long time, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was based in 1956 by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.