What occurred after I stopped filling the silence

“It’s okay,” a fellow bather mouths with a reassuring smile. I squeal barely because the water hits my waist earlier than plunging in. It’s excellent. Refreshing with out the same old razor-sharp iciness of British waters. I emerge feeling woke up and alive.

A bunch of us bob round, admiring the gorgeous white chalk cliffs of the Seven Sisters. Others sit on the shore. No one talks, as this may be breaking the foundations. It’s a wonderful Sunday morning and I haven’t spoken for over 36 hours.

I’ve come to the Sussex coast to spend the weekend making an attempt one thing I battle with at occasions: preserving my mouth shut. As a performer, the notion of a silent retreat goes in opposition to a lot of what brings me pleasure: utilizing my voice and a love of phrases. I’m a talker. I enjoy a witty change or an outrageous story.

Doubts apart, I’d arrived at Gayles, a stupendous transformed household farm in Eastbourne, on a Friday afternoon, within the midst of a very full-on summer season. Hoping to seek out stillness amid the chaos, I’d opted for one thing extra radical than a spa day.

“It’s essential,” says Roz Robinson, 66, yoga trainer, former psychotherapist and host of the Walking, Yoga, Meditation, Silence retreats at Gayles. “You wouldn’t expect to drive your car for a year without having an MOT, and I don’t think we should be allowed to carry on without having, if you like, our own reset.”

“It’s such a precious space to be able to step into,” she continues. “To give yourself time to reflect, because there is so much noise in the outside world now.”

I’m proven to my room, a spacious double with views of the ocean in a transformed Nineteen Thirties steady. Then the group, all 18 of us, most of them girls, are given a tour of the grounds, which embrace a pool, tennis courts and cosy corners for quiet contemplation. Surrounded by 11 acres of rolling downland, there’s a comforting and unassuming family-home really feel to Gayles, which has been in Robinson’s household for generations.

Poolside, Robinson requests “no bombing”. “Who bombs on a silent retreat?!” we ask. “Oh, it’s happened…”. We chuckle. Other guidelines embrace no alcohol, no Apple Watches – it’s device-free – and no aggressively robust fragrance or deodorant if you happen to’re sharing a room. Electric toothbrushes are allowed, however I later chorus from utilizing my hairdryer.

A small wicker basket sits on a aspect desk with a observe inviting us at hand our telephones in. It’s not obligatory, however we’re inspired to take action. I place mine on the pile.

We are, for the preliminary meal, allowed to speak. Munching on our scrumptious, home-grown vegetable lasagne, I get pleasure from attending to know my soon-to-be-mute companions. We’re principally first-timers and ages vary from thirty-something to sixty-something.

“I walk away from here like I’m walking on air,” says Fiona Lomas, 54, a Brighton-based inventive director on her tenth keep at Gayles.

Having the burden of small speak eliminated was refreshingly liberating. Food got here alive

After dinner, we head to the cow shed, a tranquil yoga area transformed from the unique farm constructing. Candles are lit and I really feel a child-like sense of ease, like I’m being taken care of. We every share why we’ve come.

The causes adopted comparable themes: needing to modify off, desirous to attempt one thing new and in search of a reference to nature. One younger skilled in sustainability finance admitted “I’m not all that comfortable with silence.” A girl in her sixties simply stated: “I’m here…for me”.

I’m not alone in my want for stillness. After taking a 68% hit in 2020, wellness tourism within the UK grew at an annual charge of 79% between 2020 and 2022, in line with the Global Wellness Institute, greater than twice the worldwide common of 36%. The institute’s 2026 wellness tourism traits embrace “The Nervous System Reset” and “In Search of Deep Rest”, reflecting rising demand for restorative escapes, nature and time away from digital overload. Condé Nast Traveller, in the meantime, named ‘silent travel’ one in every of its high journey traits for 2024.

“If you need anything, I’m always here,” assures Robinson. “If you need to cry, or scream even, you can scream. Crying is a release. It doesn’t matter!”. There’s speak of resetting our autonomic nervous system, getting nearer to our true selves, and therapeutic. While the retreat isn’t spiritual, there’s a religious undercurrent.

We’re led by way of a leisure train, earlier than a momentous but delicate declaration: “The silence has begun”. I depart the room elated by the problem. An area opens up in my thoughts.

“I love that there’s no pressure to make conversation,” says Rebecca Hastings, 46, a world charity fundraiser. “I come for that deep quality of silence that happens in community, when people are together”.

We shortly discovered our stream as a gaggle. In the kitchen the next morning, we dance round one another, ready to stack the dishwasher or boil water, as if beforehand choreographed. Occasional smiles are exchanged, however interplay is minimal. I get pleasure from a smoothie earlier than we embark on a five-mile sunny coastal stroll.

In the silence, I used to be confronted, head-on, with my ideas, which was unnerving but empowering

“You will have some rubbish to work through,” says Robinson. Indeed. While my ideas have been louder than ever, so too was the aliveness of the character surrounding me. I discovered the sample of bushes mesmerising and observed when a flock of tweeting birds flew overhead. I felt held within the presence of everybody else and over time, a harmonious group synchronicity turned obvious. We moved nearly as one, stopping collectively and turning away each time somebody left the road for a bush wee.

“The walks are always really interesting because you just see and hear things that you wouldn’t normally,” says Lomas. “It’s a totally different way of experiencing nature.”

We’re inspired to relaxation, so I bask in a two-hour nap, adopted by some tea and cake. Yoga and meditation, which I’d grown keen on by this level, got here later, then a short lived invitation to interrupt the silence and share how we have been discovering the expertise. Most stayed quiet, myself included.

The silence ends shortly earlier than lunch on Sunday and I’ve combined emotions. I used to be having fun with our peaceable cocoon, however welcomed attending to know the others.

“It’s amazing how connected you can feel to a group of people, even when you’re not talking,” I stated in our last circle. We’d shared a novel expertise and I’d miss their acquainted faces. Together, we’d created our personal silent bubble, and I’d come to understand present inside it. It was, as Robinson described, a ‘warm silence’.

“At our source, we are quiet, loving, joyous communicative beings,” she displays. “Donkeys standing in a field are all connected, they’re not chatting all the time.”

Having the burden of small speak eliminated was refreshingly liberating. Food got here alive. There’s a depth of stillness that’s exhausting to achieve if you’re continuously making dialog.

We consider silence as being empty, a void that wants filling, however I learnt there’s a richness to that area. A palpable, but peaceable power that sits inside us, at all times. In the silence, I used to be confronted, head-on, with my ideas, which was unnerving but empowering.

It wasn’t simple. Huge life uncertainties surfaced, together with large questions I had no speedy solutions to. I observed the whole lot: my thoughts drifting from the previous to the longer term, or just being unduly self-critical. I felt stress in my physique as I moved between yoga poses. There have been moments I briefly broke the silence, alone in my room, to present myself the odd pep speak or cry. I surrendered to no matter got here up.

The silence created area to listen to what I already knew deep down. I wanted to come back up for air amidst my frantic life; to cease, and breathe.

“We look for answers out there, when really the answers are in here,” says Robinson in her closing lesson. “Be kind to yourselves, each and every one of you.”

I left Gayles reenergised, decided to construct stillness into my days and decide to the apply. One breath at a time.

Main picture: Laurie Griffiths