I took my bikini to the brand new Thames swimming spot. But it was too gross to get in

It’s been some time since I went on vacation and had a soothing swim, so after I hear that London has a brand new bathing spot that opened on Friday – the primary ever designated swimming space on the River Thames – I dig my bikini out and head down there. Bathing season has began.

I’m not a lot of a wild swimmer – except frolicking within the Mediterranean with an Aperol Spritz counts, which it doesn’t. Oh, and 10 years in the past I swam within the sea in Margate, Kent, and had a good time.

That was the tip of that, although. I’ve since prevented swimming within the UK just like the plague, as a result of, nicely, I don’t wish to get the plague. Water corporations spilled uncooked sewage into England’s rivers and seas for 1.9 million hours in 2025, in line with Environment Agency figures. There’s additionally been a surge in swimmers getting dysentery and different diseases, which sound like one thing Victorian.

My pondering is that immersing oneself in nature is great, however not if it’s adopted by a bout of gastrointestinal torture. I’ve a toddler at nursery who brings dwelling all types of micro organism, I don’t have to be actively searching for out sickness in my leisure time.

But if it is a designated, official swimming spot then that sounds good doesn’t it? Surely which means somebody official has determined it’s okay for people to enterprise into the water? A secure, clear little bit of my dwelling metropolis to have a splash about in?

This little bit of South West London – the brand new spot is named Thames at Ham – feels nearly rural after I arrive on Friday lunchtime; it’s very fairly, and peaceable. The path alongside the river is lined with weeping willows, and the one the sound is canine walkers crunching alongside the gravel.

At the swimming spot – which I solely discover by asking a couple of locals and nearly trespassing on personal land – there’s a little concrete space, with a ramp, and a giant signal concerning the hazard of chilly water. There’s no person else right here – not fairly the massive opening day I’d imagined – however the wind has picked up, making it actually fairly chilly.

Undeterred, I take my socks off – toes in first, different limbs later, possibly – however the second my ft hit the water I realise I can’t face getting in additional. The bikini is staying in my bag.

Even if the climate have been higher, I’m additionally not drawn in by the water high quality. Call me a coward, nevertheless it seems deeply unappealing: murky, filled with leaves and bits of one thing, and look there goes a lump of contemporary hen poo floating previous my ankle. A small terrier runs previous me and jumps straight in, his proprietor standing nicely again in a puffa jacket. She throws a sideways look at my naked ft with some concern.

Even the canine solely lasts 4 seconds earlier than hurtling out once more. This doesn’t fill me with confidence. Don’t canines have famously low requirements on the subject of hygiene? And he’s in a fur coat. I make a psychological notice to maybe put money into a wetsuit if I wish to do that pastime once more.

As it seems, sure I’m being a wimp however I’ve good motive to be sceptical concerning the water high quality. I assumed {that a} designated spot meant the water would have been examined and checked as secure and clear – however no. All it means is that the realm will be monitored this summer season, and there will be a weekly testing regime. Over time, the hope is that, on account of this, the protection of the water will enhance.

In reality, campaigners say that getting a river designated as an official swimming space is solely some of the efficient strategies of forcing water corporations to cut back sewage spills. The standards for this contains that the realm should have at the least 100 bathers a day throughout bathing season (15 May to 30 September), and have bathrooms a brief distance away.

I discover it complicated and fairly deceptive that someplace might be made an official bathing spot earlier than it’s truly respectable sufficient to swim in.

I think about that for the swimmers who already swim right here, having their beloved stretch of river formally checked and monitored can be an exquisite factor. And this London spot is one in all 27 new UK areas, 14 of them on rivers, which have been formally designated. Yet, as I sit and survey this pretty riverside scene safely from a bench, with my socks again on my ft, I’m haunted by this reality.

The BBC visited the 14 rivers which have been examined by the Environment Agency final 12 months for contamination from micro organism linked to human and animal faeces, and 12 of those had water high quality rated ‘poor’ and other people have been suggested to not swim.

When this Thames swimming spot was introduced, there have been some issues from campaigners about water high quality. In 2025, it was reported that rowers within the well-known Oxford Cambridge boat race have been turning into sick each week as a result of river’s poor water high quality with members advised they have been at heighted danger of sepsis, kidney failure and diarrhoea.

If I used to be braver, and extra outdoorsy, maybe I’d observe the 1000’s of people that already swim right here every year (and who, presumably, preserve their head nicely out of the water.) Yet, isn’t there a flawed logic in the concept we’re encouraging folks to swim in polluted water with the intention to then show that it must be cleared up? I don’t fancy being a guinea pig for this trigger.

I’m genuinely glad that so many individuals get pleasure from the river right here. But if something’s going to get me swimming on this inexperienced and nice land, it’s positively not this little bit of the Thames. I believe I’ll head to my native leisure centre as a substitute. And on condition that it as soon as had a cockroach infestation, that’s actually saying one thing.