Dear Abby: My brother loathes me — ought to I nonetheless attend his marriage ceremony?

DEAR ABBY: My brother has discovered love once more. His first spouse handed away from most cancers two years in the past. He is getting married in two months. We had been by no means tremendous shut however have all the time been civil to one another and spent an hour or two with one another throughout vacation meals or birthdays.

Our mom is 89 and lives at his dwelling in an added-on house. She’s our widespread denominator. Because my brother is quick-tempered and brief with me (and others), I’m afraid that after Mom is gone, he can have no use for me and I’ll by no means see him once more.

I despatched him an e-mail stating my concern, and his reply was surprising. He mentioned he didn’t like my facial expressions. He additionally mentioned he doesn’t like my mannerisms and feels nothing I say is real, however very pretend. He additionally instructed me he wasn’t alone in these ideas. I felt like he had caught a knife by way of my coronary heart. He mentioned he wished he had a video of me so I might see how pretend I used to be. I cried and received bodily in poor health.

I’m so embarrassed that he and others see me that means that I’ve determined to not go to his marriage ceremony. I can’t be in a room full of people that have made these judgments about my integrity. Am I making the fitting selection? Should I am going for my mom’s sake? — STUNNED AND EMBARRASSED

DEAR STUNNED: Your brother could have discovered love once more, however he has some actual issues. That he would communicate to you that means was merciless and intentionally hurtful. Could he have some unresolved sibling rivalry? If that’s the case, you can not repair it for him.

Under the circumstances, not eager to attend that marriage ceremony is comprehensible. However, simply because your brother says one thing doesn’t make it true. They could also be his emotions, however he doesn’t have the fitting to talk for all of your different kin. That is why I hope you’ll keep your relationships with the remainder of the household and never permit him to drive you away.

DEAR ABBY: My mom comes over to go to each single night at 7:30. She is aware of that I should be up early and depart the home at 5:30 a.m. to go to work. I’ve dropped quite a few hints, however she’s oblivious. This causes plenty of stress in my marriage. My companion thinks it’s ridiculous to go to somebody at 7:30 each night time, particularly since I’ve two children who want rides dwelling from practices within the evenings. Please assist. — AT WITS’ END

DEAR WITS’ END: Because you’ve already tried speaking to your mom about this however she doesn’t get the message, enlist the assistance of your companion and discuss to her collectively. When you do, set up a practical schedule for her visits — two days every week, maybe — and the way lengthy they may final. Then, when the time is up, escort her to the door.

Your mom could do that as a result of she has no lifetime of her personal. If that’s a contributing issue, begin researching teams of seniors she may be a part of for actions aside from visiting her daughter each night time. If you do, it could vastly enhance the standard of her life and the lives of these in your family.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.