Way of life Content material 001 – X’s Audrey Horne

Bro I really like this content material. I might watch Tiktoks of gorgeous women in Cary North Carolina driving round ingesting protein espresso and going to Ulta Beauty all day. There however for the grace of my homosexual chungus girlboss nun life go I. Here’s my model, primarily based on my current journey to New York. Eight items of way of life content material.

1. Lip combo

Hot women today are all the time speaking about “lip combos.” Sarah Beth Spraggins says I have to cease counting myself out of the “hot girl” circuit, which could be very good of her, however I feel everyone knows there’s a distinction between a scorching woman and a “hot girl.” “Hot girls” find out about lip combos. And now so do I. My lip combo of alternative fits my true summer time coloration palette and consists of Makeup Forever’s “Anywhere Caffeine” lip liner smudged out (cupid’s bow intact, as per Sarah Beth’s steering) with a glooooopy layer of Eadem’s Le Chouchou lip balm in “Fig Sauce” on prime.

2. Sexy wine bar

Do you understand how scrumptious it feels to sit down down at a candlelit pure wine bar deep in Peter Dinklage’s Cobble Hill — I’ve stated this so many occasions I’m annoying even myself — simply to take off your monumental blazer, order an $18 glass of orange wine and a $16 plate of tinned fish and bread, and crack open the brand new Ben Lerner (which I haven’t purchased or learn, I’m simply imagining what it could really feel like). Feels like intercourse. Or so I think about.

3. Going to Bushwick readings

I went to kind of the archetypal Bushwick studying, like what you may image in your head once you consider a literary studying at a dive bar in Bushwick. Plenty of naughty and transgressive issues had been stated! Plenty of MFA-voice too. I wrote a tweet that I didn’t publish that went like this: “Bushwick readings be like. My pussy. My nipple. My ass.” Sorry for the language. That’s why I didn’t tweet it. I used to be grateful to be there.

4. Weird artwork

I walked into a restaurant – Tawny – within the Lower East Side, instantly taken by the mottled partitions, unusual artwork, grand piano, gelato, pink lights, Lynchian music…. the bartenders had been extraordinarily charming and satisfied me to play Texas maintain ‘em with them with fake money. We discussed free will and non-duality and Hildegard of Bingen. I felt sleepy in there, which was a good sign.

5. Wearing the silhouette du jour

I’ve been making the acquaintance of quite a few males who share the identical traits. It’s eerie. It thrills me. They all the time dwell in Clinton Hill or Crown Heights, they put on a number of silver rings (not more than three), they’ve an earring within the non-gay ear, however I all the time assume they’re homosexual once I meet them (they’re truly straight or pretend bisexual [made out with a guy once]), they lived both in Berlin or an obscure European metropolis, they studied political idea, they usually have extraordinarily developed style in music. When I put on this shapeless funnel neck jacket with big pants, I really feel present, very important, and recent. When I put on this shapeless funnel neck jacket with big pants, I really feel like I might bag a person like that. And cultivate him.

6. Eating the rainbow

This is the bedrock of my way of life. No matter what occurs, I can return to my rainbowmaxxing, fibermaxxing, proteinmaxxing eating regimen. The core parts are eggs, salmon, blueberries, tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach, Japanese candy potato, cannelini beans, greek yogurt, floor turkey, walnuts, feta, peanut butter, chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, bananas, and chilly brew.

7. Embracing my vibe

Here’s the factor. That’s me. The greatest a part of being 32 is you’ll be able to simply be like yeah. that’s me…. Also I wish to take this chance to let you know all that I’ve been doing pilates repeatedly.

8. Date science

They’re doing unbelievable issues with dates on-line. Here’s what I realized. You flatten out a date between two items of parchment paper utilizing the underside of a jar or a rolling pin. Then you unfold some crunchy peanut butter on prime, and melted darkish chocolate on prime of that, and walnuts and salt sprinkled on prime, and you then freeze them for an hour or two and eat them they usually style like Snickers!

Speaking of dates I actually wish to let you know guys concerning the insanely dangerous dates I’ve been on however that’s gauche and imply and it’ll most likely decrease the possibilities of me discovering real love. One day if I ever get married I’ll anonymize and scramble the main points and write a tell-all.

Okay that’s it! Let me know if this works for you or in the event you’d choose that I hold writing about God or morality or WBE and that I shut up about the remainder. I’ll write about what I wish to regardless however don’t say I didn’t provide the flooring.